Thursday, September 4, 2008

VISA: It's Everywhere you ... Nevermind

I'm serious ... This just happened to me. So I just saw online that a large payment I made went through to my Credit Card Company. I call up my Credit Card Company because I wanted to take the opportunity to decrease my credit limit so that I can more effectively monitor my own usage and spending. First off almost everything is voice recognition automated now. It's really freakin' annoying. Every two minutes you hear some computerized lady saying "Did you say ..." whatever "Say yes or no." So you have to correct them and use your best hooked on phonics voice to get to the next step in the process. Next, VISA doesn't have a section to decrease your credit card limit. So I choose the increase section and just kept screwing with the voice recognition automation until it sent me directly to a real person. After 30 seconds of dealing with the real person I saw why VISA chose to let their customers interact with the voice recognition technology. I tell the customer representative my name and give her my security info. Well from then on I was Mr. York even though she is sitting in front of a computer screen with my name and data on it. Lady ... I realize that you are not exactly a college graduate, but you are kind of responsible for the finances of millions. Please distinguish between R's and Y's.
I spent the next few minutes explaining to her that I was aware of what I was doing.

"Yes. I want to decrease my spending limit."
"I understand what my credit limit is."
"Yes I know what I'm asking. I'm asking for you to not let me spend as much. I don't want a high credit limit."
"Yes, Please put a hold on my Credit Limit so they don't increase it automatically, Thank You."

Basically this Lady was dumbfounded that somebody wanted a Credit Decrease. Well she submits the information to the Home Office or whomever, because apparently Credit Decreases need an approval just like Credit Increases. Then she says:

Visa Lady: "I see in our system that you are eligible for a No Charge,Second User Approval."
Me: "Huh? ... No ... I don't want that."
Visa Lady: "You don't want to authorize anyone else to use your card at no cost?"
Me: "I barely like authorizing myself to use my card. So no, I don't want anyone else to use it either."
Visa Lady: "Um ... Okay. I see in our system that we can approve you for a no cost Automatic Monthly Payments."
Me: "No Thanks."
Visa Lady: "Okay ... And Lastly I see that you are approved for a Credit Line Increase on your card."
Me: "Ma'am are you serious? Did you miss the last 7 minutes of business that we took care of?"
Visa Lady: "What? ... Oh .... Never mind. Can I assist you in anything else today?"
Me: "Uh ... No I don't think so."
Visa Lady: "Well thank you for choosing VISA and have a nice day!"

Seriously .... I couldn't make that up if I tried. Thanks Visa Lady for giving Irish Road his Jessica Simpson Moment of the Year!

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