Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Hottest Female Movie Villains

So after some time off from moving and a surgery I'm back to bring you a list of importance like none other. Good female villains are a hard thing to come by and we love them. I've racked my brain and have come up with what I think is a pretty good list of the Hottest Female Villains. There were criteria for someone to make this list.

1. I didn't accept just any normal villain. The villain had to be able to fight in some physical capacity. This rules out villains like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. While hot, she probably could be knocked off by some street thug with a knife and a coke addiction.

2. The chick had to be hot. Obviously a list like this requires someone who's easy on the eyes. It makes it easier for the victims to accept their fate that in two seconds they will have their throat slit.

3. We chose only villains from movies. I'm sure there are tons of very good comic book characters and cartoon characters that make great villains but ours has some tangibility to them. There were a few good ones from TV but you don't always get to see the full killer instinct of TV villains.

So with out further delay here's the list!

15. Mallory Knox (Juliette Lewis)
In the opening scene of 'Natural Born Killers' Mallory Knox and her beau viciously murder an entire cafe of patrons. A great opening to any movie. Mallory is a woman who at first glance is the girl next door and as soon as you turn your back she sticks a knife in you. Plus she's dating a chump like Woody Harrelson so it gives you the impression that you have a shot with her.

14. Hu Li (Zhang Ziyi)
In 'Rush Hour 2', though just an underling in the crime organization, Hu Li is a martial arts badass who gives Carter (Chris Tucker) more than he can handle. She's young, she's hot and she is trusted with protecting the head of the Triads with her fighting skills. If it wasn't for the dumb luck of Carter she'd be alive still.

13. Mai Linh (Maggie Q)
Mai Linh is the number 2 in a plot to ruin the United States in a terrorist 'cyber' attack. She's smart and beautiful which is always a lethal combination of it's own. But later in the movie we see her flash her hand to hand skill as she gives John McClane all he can handle. Only with McClane's recklessness and an SUV is Mai Linh stopped in 'Live Free or Die Hard.'

12. Madison Lee (Demi Moore)
Honestly I don't know anything about this movie, 'Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle'. But how could you leave Demi Moore off a list of hot villains. When they give you screen shots of a beautiful woman in a fur coat, high heels and lingerie while holding a gun I think you've got to include them.

11. Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman)
In 'Batman and Robin' Poison Ivy is a lab nerd turned sexy seductress after her lab partner tries to kill her. The result is a villain with the ability to kill a man with a single poisoness kiss. Works for me! Only with Uma's charisma could you have a character like Poison Ivy. Though the film won't be recognized for it's, um, wonderful plot and screenplay at least if it's on you get a villain like Ivy to look at.

10. Gogo Yubari (Chiaki Kuriyama)
School Girl! School Girl! School Girl!!! Okay I'm done ... I think. In 'Kill Bill' Gogo is the definition of a hardcore female villain. An awesome, weapons wielding, destruction machine hell bent on killing anything that pisses her off. Though skilled with a tanto, her method of battle with Beatrix Kiddo is a meteor hammer. After an intense fight (probably one of the better ones in movies) Gogo is killed and her story is ended. If she hadn't been I would have loved to see her get her own spin off.

9. Dark Phoenix/Jean Grey (Famke Janssen)
Jean Grey is turned into the Dark Phoenix at the end of 'X-Men United' only to return in 'The Last Stand' to wreak havoc on the world. The Dark Phoenix is a hot unstable version of Jean Grey who acts on violent desires. Phoenix is widely considered to be the most powerful mutant alive. Only by the actions of Wolverine is she stopped in the end.

8. Lady Deathstrike (Kelly Hu)
In X-Men United, Kelly Hu is Lady Deathstrike, a mind controlled pawn of Eric Striker. With her amazing agility and razor sharp claws she battles off the X-Men to ensure the completion of her master's mission. Once again the other claw wielding psycho Wolverine kills her and ends her reign of terror.

7. Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer / Lee Merriweather)
We had sort of a mini tie for seventh. I thought without a doubt that Catwoman should be on this list. So I wrote down Michelle Pfeiffer but Runhigh made a good point about Lee Merriweather, a former Miss America, being worthy of this instead. So I came to the conclusion that two sexy, um, pussies were much better than one. Merriweather set it all up in the original 1966 Batman and Pfeiffer knocked it dead in the 1992 Batman Returns film. Either way you look at it, when you have a hot, flexible woman in a leather suit you can't lose.

6. O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu)
Kill Bill's other favorite villain, played by the very attractive Lucy Liu, was a no brainer to add to our list. As the head of the Tokyo Yakuza, O-Ren is one of the most dangerous women on the planet. She started her killing ways at the age of 9 when she became an assassin after the death of her parents. She then possessed her own gang of assassins, the Crazy Eighty-Eights and the rest is history. This killing machine and beautiful villain was an easy choice for number 6.

5. T-X (Kristanna Loken)
The unstoppable force versus the immovable object. Anytime you add two artificially intelligent machines to a movie and program them to kill each other you get great results. Make one of those machines the super sexy Kristanna Loken and you get another addition to our list. As T-X in 'Terminator: Rise of the Machines', Loken is programmed to chase down and eliminate John Connor. Unfortunately the Governator was there and ended her character's role in the film.

4. May Day (Grace Jones)
I know a lot of people are going to question this one but hear me out. In 1985 the 14th Bond film cast Grace Jones as May Day, Max Zorin's training partner, bodyguard and lover. They could not have cast a more perfect actress. Grace Jones is the definition of a strong woman. She's got great structure, great skin and a perfect physique as you see in the film when she puts the beat down on Bond. She was a fearless villain and virtually unstoppable. She was only taken out after Zorin betrayed her and she sacrificed herself to stop a bomb.

3. Lola (Kate Nauta)
When I watch Kate Nauta in 'The Transporter 2' just one word comes to mind, DAAAAAMMNN!
Kate has an amazing body that the director took every advantage of showing off. She also has a half-crazed look of 'I want to blow your effing brains out' during the movie which for some reason also turns me on. But when she wields two automatics at once it completes a trifecta and earns her a spot at number 3 on our list.

2. Mystique (Rebecca Romijn)
I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that they painted the naked body of Rebecca Romijn blue. Maybe it's the fact that it's Rebecca Romijn. It doesn't matter. The things that makes her character number 2 on our list of Hot Villains are those and more. As Mystique in the X-Men films she has the ability to shape shift at any moment. Easily a hundred dirty thoughts come to the minds of the millions of comic book geeks out there (I'm one). She's quick, agile, and doesn't need to bring any weapons to kick some ass. The only real negative about her is her obsession with that old dude Magneto. Hmmm .... maybe a little somethin' somethin' going on there? Whatever it is Mystique is one hot chick ... mutant ... whatever.

1. Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen)
Famke has done it again. She's landed on our list twice but more importantly she's landed in the top spot with her Bond character Xenia Onatopp. As the sexy Bond villain she makes life hell for James as she competes with him at every little thing in the movie. First she smokes him on the French hills in her Ferrari. The they battle at Baccarat. She then steals a helicopter before he can stop her (which she herself pilots). They then battle in a steam room (quite hot, no pun intended). Finally they battle once more in the Cuban rainforest.

Xenia not only has the skill and training for killing she actually seems to get some sort of orgasmic pleasure from it. Her trademark though is the incredible squeeze she puts on her victims with her thighs. It's like she's crushing their rib cage and yet getting off in the same action. I don't know many men who wouldn't mind being taken out in that fashion. This
ex-military pilot gone killing machine is our number 1 Hottest Female Movie Villain.


Anonymous said...

great list
love all these women
Famke Janssen is great in everything

$ento said...

Sexy Female Villains - 1 = Xenia Onatopp. 2 = Desiree More. 3 = Alotta Fagina. 4 = Eve Kinsley. 5 = Lori Quaid. 6 = Miranda Frost. 7 = Catherine Tramell. 8 = Fatima Blush. 9 = Tanya Peters. 10 = Lena Drago. 11 = Lillith. 12 = Sona. 13 = Vernita Green. 14 = Sharpay Evans. 15 = Santana Lopez. 16 = Poison Ivy. 17 = Baroness. 18 = Sabrina Ritchie. 19 = Kara. 20 = Callisto. 21 = T-X.

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