Monday, January 19, 2009


So I am writing this after midnight and after about 20 beers today and like 6 shots ... so take whatever I say within that context. Oh yeah ... and I have a beer in hand drinking this ... go ahead and call Alcoholics Anoyomous ... I don't care. They wrote me off as a lost cause a long time ago.

First of all ... great game by the Penguins today .... goals by Sykora, Kennedy and Minard, totally made my afternoon. Fleury stopping everything sent his way reminded me of a Mormon girl turning down sexual advances on prom night. Great job by the Pens to claw their way back into playoff contention. This could be a huge turning point for them.

So Nighthawk comes down around 3:10 today and told me he picked against his sleeper pick again. I told him he was stupid. I was later vindicated. He is stupid. I am smart. Well smarter than him. Which ain't saying too much but I'll take it. He had to go to work and missed most of both the games. I had a 4 day weekend. Who sounds smarter to you?

On to Larry Fitzgerald. The Steelers are going to have a hard time covering him. Yes the Steelers defense is great but they have no one who can match his leaping ability. The Steelers will have to get to Kurt Warner and hit him hard. If that happens Warner will either fumble or throw picks.

For the game today ... I went to Jackman's Bar in Avalon. It's a shithole bar off of Rt. 65. But more importantly ... they have 2 dollar yuengling drafts. YES. At first I was dissapointed upon hearing they had no specials ... then i realized 2 dollar Yuenglings are quite special themselves. First of all you may wonder what type of bar "Jackman's" is. I will tell you. It is populated by the drunken blue collar idiot. Otherwise known as the backbone of the Pittsburgh Steeler Fan Base. Would I trust anyone at that bar to do my taxes, handle my 401k or even make me a Big Mac? Probably not. But they sure are fun to drink with. My throat is still sore from yelling at the top of my lungs for 4 hours.

On to the game. First of all ... props to Tomlin for getting to the Super Bowl in his second season as head coach., far surpassing the career trajectories of Bill Cowher and Chuck Noll. What would seem more unlikely? A rookie QB getting to the Super Bowl or a black man being inaugurated as President? Well thanks to the Steelers, one is going to happen this week ... the other isn't.

Once again ... the Steelers defense rose to the occasion. Even before a defensive touchdown by Polamalu to seal the game the defense held Flaccid Flacco to only 13 completions and 3 interceptions. Also, Ryan Clark almost decapitated Willis McGahee. Chalk up another likely fine for a Steelers defender. I think these fines are becoming a badge of honor for Steelers defenders. Note to Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin: You are both awesome recievers, but let your guard down and you may be on a one way trip to the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. On the plus side: the food ain't half bad ... trust me .... I know. Oh, and what are the odds the Ravens have a bounty on Clark's head next time they play?

Hines Ward looked great in the first half before he was hurt. I can only presume he will be fine in two weeks. His replacement: Limas Sweed turned in a typical performance by dropping a couple of key passes. On the plus side he did deliver a block that resembled a Hines Ward on Bart Scott hit. If it turns up on youtube I may post it. But for now you are on your own. Plus you should of watched the game yourself.

Edit: here is the link:

Chalk up another Steeler with a bounty on his head.

Parker averaged about 2 yards per carry tonite ... big surprise. Parker having trouble against the Ravens is like Superman struggling with Kryptonite. Wait until the Super Bowl when he is facing the Cardinals. It will look like the Harlem Globetrotters versus the Washington Generals. Note to the stupid people: Parker is not the Washington Generals in this matchup.

Is Jeff Reed possibly the most underrated kicker in the league? He is tough enough to go without long sleeves in freezing weather and make two long field goals. Even David Akers ... the supposed Patron Saint of postseason field goals missed one on Sunday. Oh and Matt Stover? Hated him on the Browns, hate him even more on the Ravens.

Did anyone else think of the Lavar Leap when Polamalu stopped Flaccid Flacco on 4th down? For those of you who don't know what the Lavar Leap is here is a refresher course:

Here is Polamalu doing it:

Oh yeah, and here he is retiring Troy Aikman, just because I fucking hate the Cowboys

The Steelers held Baltimore to 198 total yards of offense. In 18 games so far only Tennessee has gained over 300. Just saying.

Big Ben is now 7-2 in the post season. I guess we can put those Flaccid Flacco parades on hold for now. Seriously, its probably best we don't have fireworks in Baltimore anytime soon. Last time that happened all we got was a National Anthem which no one can sing properly. Now don't get me wrong. I love my country and everything about it. But let's get a better national anthem. A converted poem does not suffice. My suggestion:

The theme song from Team America: World Police:

My early prediction for the Super Bowl:

Steelers 27 Cardinals 20

But remember this is being written at 1 am after I've drank some 20 beers and several shots. So don't forget ... the margin could be much wider.