If you want to specialize in collecting welfare checks for the next 40 years, get one of these degrees in college:
1. Philosophy - What? You seriously think knowing what Plato, Socrates or Desarcrates said hundreds or even thousands of years ago are going to get you a job today? Take some advice. Save yourself tens of thousands of dollars and just go straight to working for McDonald's. At the end of four years you may actually be shift manager.
2. English Lit - There are no jobs for reading Beowulf or Shakespeare dumbass. Harper Lee thinks you should find a career that won't involve you shaking a McDonald's cup for change before Steeler games. GET TO IT!!!
3. Liberal Arts - OK, what the hell is this? You go to college and take a bunch of art and philosophy classes and they give you a degree? Seriously, art and philosophy could enhance your degree not be it. Have fun serving me my daily latte at Starbucks.
4. Music - Ok, you can do very well being a musician, but do you think Steven Tyler, Britney Spears or Tommy Lee ever actually attended any college? Ummm, no. If you have musical talent go use it and save your money for rent when you go broke like most musicians.
5. Management - Wow, I don't know how to do anything but boss people around! Management is nothing more than glorified babysitting. You set arbitrary deadlines and tell me when I came in late. Congrats!!! You rock!!!
6. Any university from the South - Ok, not everyone can attend a real school, but really, what Southern schools are famous for their academics? Besides Duke, uhh none. The Northeast alone has Harvard, Yale, Columbia, UPenn, Princeton and a ton other schools that my drunk ass doesn't feel like looking up at this point. Do yourself a favor and attend a school up North, then move South. You'll look so much smarter than the locals. You may even be named Mayor.
7. Miami (FL) - They gave Slyvester Stallone a degree. Enough said. Yo! Adrienne!! I did it!!!
Round 2, Game 2
9 months ago