Friday, August 22, 2008

Chris Sheridan to World: I hate USA Basketball

Hmmm .... these two look awfully similar

It's been going on for two weeks now and I haven't seen any hatred yet. I guess I have to start it. Chris Sheridan, writer for ESPN, hates USA basketball. Or at least he hates USA's Men's team. Why hasn't there been any backlash against this guy yet aside from the posts after his 'Team USA may lose' articles? It astounds me. The guy's an idiot. He's been basically, without actually saying it, rooting for team USA to lose. His preview of almost every game has been "There is a good chance Team USA will lose tonight." Why? So he can jump in if they do lose and say 'Look! See! I predicted that!' Then he can pat himself on the back and tell himself that he's a genius and ask the sports world to bow down to his awesome foretelling prowess. If Team USA doesn't lose then he's still right. 'I said they MIGHT lose. I didn't say they would.' Going out on a limb like that is dangerous Chris. You gotta watch yourself when you do that. I remember a Monday Night Football game a few years ago when John Madden made a famous prediction before the game stating "The team that scores the most times tonight will win." Really? Is that how it works now? Chris, basically I'm saying that you're predictions are the equivalent. If you like Team USA then predict they'll win by 25 every game like I have. If you don't then put your balls out there and tell us which team is going to beat them on a buzzer beater. Lets' look at the games.

Team USA's players obviously weren't playing 100%, probably because they wanted to rest up before the Olympics started. Bogut wasn't in uniform for the Aussies because of an ankle injury. Team USA shoots awful and plays sloppy overall but still wins by double digits. Chris Sheridan shows his love by saying team USA had "porous defense" and an "inability to contend with speed". Really? The most athletic players can't contend with speed? Are you smoking crack? These guys can play with anybody! Even the first line of his article is pathetic. "If that had been Spain, the U.S. would have lost by 20." I know you love hating on them Chris. But if a team plays as awful as you said they did and they still win by 11 points you have to give them credit. Especially with a roster of guys who show up to play in big games.

Basically Sheridan makes his call on who he thinks will start and speculates on who would take the buzzer beating shot in a close game. He says their best opponents are a step ahead of them in FIBA play. He says that their games against Greece and Spain in pool play are toss-ups. He predicts that the USA squad and Spain will meet in the gold medal match (which is looking surprisingly accurate) and that the Spaniards will miss a last second shot that would have beaten the Americans. USA wins by 1 point. "And Team USA wins the gold medal. Barely." Thankfully it won't be Chris. Redeem team rules: USA by 40. 111-71.

USA vs. China:

Well I don't remember him writing an article previewing this match but I'm pretty sure he would have said 'This is going to be a real test for team USA. They could lose.'

It went off pretty much as expected though. USA 101-70.

USA vs. Angola

There really wasn't any preview of this game either. I guess it was just assumed by everyone that we'd stomp Angola. They beat them 97-76 which Angola considered they're best game ever. It wasn't the stomping that it should have been but after we went up by 30 early the squad put it on cruise control and just coasted to victory. I'll bet Chris Sheridan would have wrote 'This is going to be a real test for team USA. They could lose.'

You'll love this. Chris starts off by calling Greece "a smashmouth team that pounded and prodded Dirk Nowitski and Chris Kaman into submission". He also goes on to say "And if the Americans don't do their homework, if they only pay lip service to the notion of respect, it's not inconceivable that they'll lose." Do you have any love for team USA Chris? Where did this hatred come from? Did Coach K nail your mom? Did you get dunked on by one of these players in a high school game? What gives man? USA crushes 92-69.

This was Chris Sheridan's 'Preview for the Gold medal game'. I still don't know what he's thinking with his 'Last second shot' prediction. I still hold onto my win by 40 prediction even though they aren't showing much against Argentina through the first half (I realize Argentina is flopping around like they just had their Achilles tendon severed). Especially after viewing this game. I realize Spain could be angry and come out with a vengeance in the gold medal game but seriously, who are we kidding? Chris points out all the things he loves about Spain. He beats it into the reader's head that they won the gold in the World Championships two years ago. Thanks Chris. I'm sure there isn't a basketball fan who hasn't forgotten that the U.S. took bronze in Japan. That is part of the reason why they're nicknamed the Redeem Team. But Sheridan can't quite hide his man-love of team Spain, "Saturday's game will be a better test of its skills against the reigning world champion -- a team with so much passion, so much togetherness, that tears fell from their eyes two years ago. " Thanks Chris. Do your best not to get all bro-mantic on us. USA 119-82.

USA vs. Germany

Not really any preview worth mentioning. Sorry Dirk Dirk Allah. Sorry Kamanator.

USA 106-57. Ouch!

As I write this USA has just owned Argentina in the Semifinals. I'm stoked. Chris Sheridan took his USA bashing to a whole new level in his preview of the quarterfinals. I'll let him tell you though:

"Well, part of me wants to join with the masses and say, "Yes, there's no way the Americans do not win the gold."
But the other half is the smarter half, and it insists that I have to say "No."
And you know what, the other half is correct.
Do I think Team USA is going to lose? No.
Do I think it's possible it could lose? Hell, yes.
Am I the only one? Hell, no. "

My take: Is team USA capable of losing? Any team is but for USA to lose it's going to take the Apocalypse. Will team USA lose? HELL NO!! Take that Sheridan! It's so obvious that Sheridan WANTS team USA to lose. I wish he would just say it. Come on Chris! Out yourself! Right now I hear R. Kelly singing 'Chris Sheridan is in the closet!' Sheridan just couldn't get over the fact that Bogut was back for the Australians. Bogut. B O G U T ..... it sounds so dumb to say! Bogut. You've got to be kidding me? That was your savior in the quarterfinals? Bogut. Anyways, Sheridan goes on to tell us a little more at how bad team USA has been in recent competition:

"So many things that would have been unthinkable then have all taken place in the intervening years.
Nobody predicted that Puerto Rico would defeat the Americans by 19 in Athens.
Nobody predicted that the U.S. would lose three times in Indianapolis in 2002.
Few believed it possible that the Americans would lose to anyone two years ago in Japan, but then they went up against a team with nothing to lose in the medal round and Greece beat them.
So don't count out Australia.
And don't think this thing is over, because it isn't."

Somebody slap the sense back into this guy. USA 116-85.

Watching this today was a little sweet. A little scary. But then it was sweet all over again. Sorry Chris. USA is still in it. I know you're angry but this gives you another chance to write the same article about how 'Team USA could lose' for the seventh time this month. Just think of it as job security. Anyways onto his take of it. His first line in the preview is gold. "Only one team in the world has defeated the United States twice since NBA players started representing America." Obviously team USA is Argentina's bitch! It's so obvious! Thanks Chris! Now we can just bow down to the supreme and masterful Argentinian powerhouse. Man, we can now avoid another beatdown by forfeiting and waiting for the Bronze medal match. Whew!

I called a 25 point victory before the game. I was a little off. The Argentinians did put up a good fight in the first half. But then the Great Motivator Coach K (I'm too afraid to spell his name without looking it up) fired up the squad for the second half and it was over. Chris thinks that both of Argentina's loss' in 2007 were due to the fact that Nocioni and Ginobili sat out. Could be. But it was always my impression that our basketball is superior to FIBA. My mistake. USA obviously didn't get that message either. USA 101-81

USA vs. Spain

Medal Round Finals

While Chris hasn't written his preview about this one yet I'll sum it up for you. He'll stick with his initial prediction of USA barely winning by a thread as Spain misses a last second jumper. USA by 1 point to take the gold medals. But you'll hear him praise Spain and basically tell you how much USA could lose this game. Watch out! Spain almost had us last time! Or wait? Was that a 37 point stomping? I keep confusing them and Angola. My bad. I'll stick with my prediction. USA wins the Gold medals by 40 points, 111-71.

Sheridan .... I'm sure after the love fest you've shown the Europeans and Argentina that you'll have a job opening in FIBA soon. I think you should take it.

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