Monday, September 7, 2009


Rainy Day. Fitting of The record breaking clincher.

Seventeen. Seventeen long years ago the Pirates ownership and management set out on a quest to produce one of the worst professional franchises in history. Aided only by a boom in the steroid era, free agency, and awful management they finally achieved the record of losing more consecutive seasons than any other franchise has in any of the four professional sports.
Our Quaker Steak and Lube Lady
Me and my good, drunken buddies, set forth to witness this history in the making. Armed with only our nameless Pirates gear and a shit ton of road sodas (or screw drivers) we arrived fashionably late to the game .... somewhere around 4th inning. The Bucs were already down 3-1 and we were already down about 8 shots of vodka (in a 30 minute span).
We walked up to the usher and had this conversation:

Usher: Tickets? ..... You guys are in row M .... great seats! They're out in the rain though. Do you want me to sit you in some dry seats under the grandstands?

Irish Road: Naw ... We've survived 17 years of this shit so far ... It will only be fitting watching this one in the rain.

Usher: Good Point.

So we go an sit in the rain. Runhigh promised me that the weather front was going to pass soon. I don't know if I believed him. The irony of it all was that in my baseball fanhood these were the best seats I've ever had. Seventeen years. In a downpour. On the day that they clinch the losing record. My fitting life as a Pirates fan. Bill Simmons eat your heart out.

Cub fans we shouted insults at
The Buccos never really threatened but these Cubs fans did. I came armed with a plethora of insults for them (who seemed to almost outnumber the Pirate fans) and a few impromptu ones on the spot. Some of them include:

"Hey Cub fans! We might be earning number 17 but you assholes are starting season 101!!!"

"Hey Cub fans! Say hi to my buddy Steve Bartman!!!"

"Hey Cub fans! Do you know what we have in common? We'll both be watching the playoffs from our couches!!!"

From the Cubs fans: "Hey! I don't see you with a girlfriend!"

Irish Road: "Hey! I don't see you with a cute girlfriend!"

"Hey Cub fans! I saved you some seats in front of us. Number 19 through number 08!!!"

By the way that last on pissed them off the most. It also got a huge laugh from the ushers and other Pirate fans nearby.

Yes ... it takes a special person to be a fan of the Pirates for 17 straight losing seasons. Year in ... Year out ... Bad trade after bad signing after bad trading after horrible free agency signing. Yes the Buccos through and through are awful. And today we clinch the Record Breaker.

Cubs Fan in a Pirates Labor Day Hat

So .... um ... Let's go Bucs! And remember ... for Pittsburghers there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For some it's the Steelers and the Penguins. For others it the knowledge that you aren't a Cubs fan.

Go Bucs!


Brad said...

Sounds like you had a good time. I always have a good time at the Bucs games. 2011. Mark it down! Lets go Bucs!

BlueEyes69 said...

Hey, the Bucs aren't the only thing that suck in PGH ... I do, too!!!


Irish Road said...

Might be the most entertaining comment on this blog ever ... lol