ELECTION NIGHT DRINKING RULES

VS.

One of the most exciting nights in America is election night. Especially in a Presidential year. Well for those who actually care about politics. Personally, I prefer the day the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue comes out. Don't try to get ahold of me that day. Come to think of it I would prefer seeing Sarah Palin lying seductively on a beach in a two piece than in politics. But I digress.

The point is that election night is a huge event and we can take advantage of it by having drinking games, especially since seemingly all sports are preempted that day. Or if you happen to think election night is exciting by itself, you're more than welcome to join the festivities as well.

Set-up:

1. A few friends to watch the coverage with preferably.

2. Make sure you have a TV to watch the results ... duh!

3. Have plenty of beer and some liquor for shots.

4. Pick a candidate you are rooting for. If you actually voted - you must pick the person you voted for. If not pick somone to root for based on another factor.

5. Have some coffee or Red Bull ready. A close election could stretch until the wee hours of the morning and to continue drinking you may need a pick me up. Or you could do Jaeger Bombs for the required shots to kill two birds with one stone.



Rules:

1. Celebration

- Clink glasses with fellow supporters and drink 5 seconds when a state is called by your candidate.

2. Mourning

- Stew, swear under your breath, hang your head in shame and take a 7 second drink when a state is called for the other candidate.

3. Battleground

- Florida, Pennsylvania, Virginia, North Carolina, Ohio, Indiana, Missouri, Colorado and Nevada are all considered battleground states this fall. To illustrate their enhanced importance, drink 7 seconds to celebrate your candidate winning one of these states and 10 if they lose one.

4. Milestones

- Take a shot of your favorite liquor when your candidate surpasses 100, 200, and if applicable, 300 electoral votes.

5. Over The Top

- When a candidate reaches 270 electoral votes, you must drink one second for each electoral vote the state carries. In addition if it is your candidate ... take a shot to celebrate. If it's not your candidate, finish the rest of your beer and take a shot.

6. Flip-Flop

- You're about to find out that flip-flops can be more devastating to you than John Kerry. If a news organization calls a state for one candidate or from one of the Senate races listed below and then reverses their decision, you must chug what's left of your beer and take a shot.

7. Close Senate Races

- Let's not focus completely on the Presidential candidates. Selected Senate races: Minnesota, North Carolina, Georgia, Kentucky, New Hampshire and Oregon. Drink 3 seconds to celebrate when a member of your presidential candidates party wins, 5 seconds to mourn if they lose.

8. Local Races

- Do you even know your current house rep? If you need to look it up, you owe a 10 second penalty drink. If your choice for the House wins, drink 5 seconds to celebrate, 10 seconds to mourn if they lose. Same rules apply for your local Senator and Governor. If no Senator or Governor from your state are up for reelection, you owe nothing. Bully for you!

Is Billy Penn working his Curse?

In what might possibly be the final World Series game we decided to bring you a diary of the game's events. With Joe Buck and Tim McCarver announcing there's sure to be no shortage of moronic statements made in the telecast.I’ve got my beer. I’ve already sat through a half hour of Fox Promos for their crappy tv shows.

830: The Bud Light word of the night is Drinkability. How many times will you hear that one tonight?

831: Cole Hamels gets Iwamura to fly out to left to start the game. Earlier at 6 FX played Invincible. Somebody was trying to prep America for the possibility that Philly may be a winning city again. Billy Penn we need you!

833: Three minutes into the game and Hamels has the Rays down in order. Is Don Larsen in jeopardy of getting company in the World Series Perfect Game club? I’m trying to jinx it if you couldn’t tell. I’ll bet you now that if it lasts into the 5th or 6th that jackass Tim McCarver reminds us about it every 2 minutes.

838: Fox gives us the Umpire lineup while Navarro gets a new mask. That moron Welke is now at second. How does somebody 2 feet away from a play miss an applied tag on Jimmy Rollins? Speaking of Rollins he flies out to left to start off Philadelphia.

841: Kazmir walks Werth. He’s already thrown more pitches than Cole Hamels did to get out of the first. Is it me or does Werth look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo?

842: Kazmir hits Utley with a pitch. I hate Utley …. Only cause I with the Pirates had a player like that.

843: Howard steps to the plate and again reminds me of Pirate futility. To think that we passed on a straight up trade Brad Eldred for Ryan Howard. Howard helps me out by wiffing on the third strike.

846: Kazmir walks Burrell and loads the bases. This doesn’t look good for the Rays. McCarver calls Pena the Rays spiritual leader. This makes him the Cerrano of Tampa Bay.

849: Victorino lines one to left. Two runs cross. With Hamels throwing a perfect game it’s all that he’ll need.

851: Feliz Hits a single to left. Bases loaded again.

852: Ruiz flies out to left. Fox plays the Rocky theme into commercial. This may be the single cheesiest baseball telecast ever.

855: Pena the cleanup hitter tries to bunt on for Tampa. This is going to be a long game for those of us cheering on the Rays.

858: Hamels gives up a walk to Navarro ending the perfect game. Don Larsen just popped some champagne.

859: Baldelli flies out to Utley. At least Cole Hamels still has the No-Hitter going!

904: We’re not even out of the second inning and we’re reminded for the 3rd time to go get a free taco at Taco Bell.

907: Shaggy singles to left. Kazmir and the Rays are still looking for their first 123 inning tonight.

908: Utley pops up to Longoria to end the 2nd and Kazmir gets out without any damage.

909: I think I’ve seen the National Lampoon Direct TV commercial where that chick tempts Clark Griswald into the pool at least 73 times now since I started watching college football on Saturday.

915: Iwamura breaks up the No-Hitter, hitting a single past the glove of Hamels.

916: Crawford grounds out to Utley. Inning over. Joe Buck says something about the Rays finally having their first hit. Irish Roadette (the girlfriend) screams something about him being retarded because the hit was meaningless. I’ve trained her well.

920: Howard strikes out again and makes me feel a little better about not having him on the Bucs.

921: Buck and McCarver do a little Cole Hamels love fest while Fox shows video of Hamels during his off games. I just threw up a little.

922: Kazmir strikes out Victorino for his first 123 inning.

924: Clark Griswald commercial number 3 of the night. If I was playing a drinking game this commercial would be a rule.

926: The rain has started in Philly. I’m hoping this will assist Tampa and throw off Hamels.

928: Pena hits one over Shaggy’s glove in right. McCarver claims it went to the right of it even after three slow-mo replays.

929: Longoria singles to left-center to drive in Pena. 2-1 Phillies. The rain is helping.

930: Joe Buck calls it “the category of a nasty night in Philadelphia”. Thanks genius.

931: Navarro’s double-play ball ends the inning. At least the gap was closed a little.

935: Ruiz singles to left.

936: During a bunt attempt Hamels takes a pitch off of his left hand. He pitches lefty. Yes!

937: Ruiz is thrown out at second on Hamels’ bunt. I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t want my pitcher standing out in the rain any longer than needed.

941: Rollins walks. Kazmir doesn’t look happy with the Home plate umpire. The only benefit is Hamels standing on second in the rain.

947: Shaggy walks to get on base for the third time in the first four innings. Utley comes to the plate with two outs. This is not looking good for the Rays.

949: I’m shuddering at the thought of happy Philly fans after a shot of white towels or socks (whatever) waving in the stands as the count goes full.

950: Utley grounds out to Iwamura. Me and the Roadette let out a sigh of relief.

953: Baldelli hits a routine pop fly to short ….. buuuut the wind kicks in and blows the ball away! Baldelli gets on!

956: Utley makes a pretty good play at second to get two. Hamels finishes off the inning with a strike out. The breaks are going Philly’s way.

1006: This inning is taking forever. There’s no outs and now Kazmir walks Burrell to put runners on first and second. Madden immediately heads to the mound to replace his pitcher. We go to a break.

1007: Of Course! The first damn commercial is the Direct TV Clark Griswald commercial. That’s like number 5. We’d be wasted off of this one.

1010: The groundskeepers have been working on the mound for awhile now as Balfour comes into pitch. Everytime he has pitched Fox has reminded us that he’s from Australia. Let’s see if it happens again.

1017: Joe Buck says it can’t get much worse than this weather. Tim McCarver being the Yes man that he is only agrees between sucking off Joe Buck.

1019: After getting two on and no outs Balfour retires the next three. It remains 2-1 Phillies.

1027: After an hour and a half the grounds crew finishes fixing the mound. Hamels finishes off Iwamura and Joe Buck points out the inconsistencies in the strike zone between the teams. It’s obviously in favor of Philly. I call Shenanigans.

1034: Crawford steals second base to set up a possible tie.

1038: Upton singles to left and somehow Crawford manages to round third and score without slipping.

1039: Ruiz misses a pitch and Upton takes second with Longoria on. He flies out to center to end the inning. First commercial is the Direct TV Griswald one again. The counter is at 6.

1042: A rain delay is finally called. This means Fox has an opportunity to show the Direct TV commercial 7 more times before play resumes.

1043: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver talk about how the Rays luck out by scoring a run before the rain delay is called. Please! Anyone who thought the Major League would let the World Series end on a Rain Delay is a retard! Of course that’s exactly what Buck and McCarver are so it fits.

So MLB has determined the conditions are unplayable and will suspend play until another night. Cole Hamels will most likely not pitch again this Post Season. Is the curse of Billy Penn striking? Let’s hope so!

Beersketball - A basketball drinking game

Our goal here On Irish Road is to bring you an opportunity to drink at every aspect of the sporting world. In honor of the start of basketball season we have Beersketball. We usually like to play this game to Pitt University's squad (since we don't have an NBA team in Pittsburgh) but we want our Pro Basketball fans to be able to kick off the season right. The following are the official rules to Beersketball, a drinking game played while watching a basketball game.

1. TEAM CHOOSE
-All drinkers must choose a team to root for and stick with such team during the entirety of the game. If one of the teams is from your hometown you must root for that team. If you are an alumni of one of the schools then you must root for that team. In the event that one team is a hometown team and the other is your former school then you get to choose.

2. PLAYER DRAFT
-All drinkers must choose a player from the team they are rooting for. No bench player may be chosen. No player may be chosen twice until all of the starters are picked.

3. POINTS RULE
-One second of drinking time is required for each point your team scores. Example: If your team scores 2 you drink 2 seconds. You drink 3 for three seconds.

4. PLAYER RULE
-If your player scores the points you drink double.



5. DUNK RULE
-Anytime a Player from either team dunks the ball everyone must drink 2 seconds. If the player is from your team you drink 2 sec for the dunk, 2 for the points and if he is your player you drink double (8 sec).

6. BEYOND THE ARC RULE
-Anytime a Player from either team scores a 3-pt shot everyone must drink 3 seconds. If they player is from your team you drink 3 sec for the shot, 3 for the points and if he is your player you drink double (12 sec!!!).

7. POSITION RULE
- Players have specialty drink rules according to their position. They are as follows:

Center: Drink 2 sec for every rebound
Drink 2 sec for every block

Guards: Drink 2 sec for every assist
Drink 2 sec for every steal

Forwards: Drink 2 sec for every rebound
Drink 2 sec for every steal

8. WAY DOWNTOWN RULE
-If any player scores from beyond half court you have to finish your beer.

9. BUZZER BEATER RULE
-Anytime a player makes a shot before the buzzer (shot clock included) you have to finish your

beer.

10. GAME WINNER RULE
-If somebody shoots a game-winning shot with 2 or less seconds remaining you must finish a full beer.

11. LOSERS GET LIT RULE
-Players rooting for a team that loses must take a shot.

NFL PICKS: Week 8

So after a few weeks hiatus I'm back and ready to knock them out again. A thanks to Runhigh last week for filling in for me while I was on the road, not remembering what I was doing. Okay, I remember. It was things that I probably shouldn't have been doing . . . except that's what made them fun. But that's a post for later on this week. Unfortunately Runhigh didn't go with picking the spread. You know like real men do. But I think if he did he would have done a lot worse than 7-6. So maybe it was a good thing. Anyways, On to the Picks!



SUNDAY OCTOBER 26th



Tampa Bay Bucanneers (-1.5) at Dallas Cowboys

Slowly everyone is discovering just how overrated 'America's Team' really is. Add key injuries to the mix and it's a great time to hate the Cowgirls. When the Bucs visit Big D this weekend look for their D to run the show and own Brad Johnson in the backfield. It's gonna be a long day for Dallas fans.

Buccaneers -1.5



Washinton Redskins (-8) at Detroit Lions

Two weeks ago the Skins screwed up my picks when they played like a high school team against the Rams (who usually play like a high school team). Last week they barely knocked off the Browns. I hate taking the points for them but this is the Lions! Let's just hope there's nothing heavy nearby for me to throw at the TV.

Redskins -8



Buffalo Bills (-3.5) at Miami Dolphins

My sleeper team is now on everyone's radar and this week they're going against a squad that has made everyone who's overlooked them pay. The Bills won't make the same mistake. Their defense will probably use the same tactics the Ravens did last week.

Bills -3.5



St. Louis Rams at New England Patriots (-4)

I don't know what the Rams have figured out in the last two weeks but it's not making picking against them easy. The Pats suffered a huge blow losing both Mulroney and Harrison. I think the home crowd will pick them up and carry them to victory this week. But it won't be by 4.

Rams +4



San Diego Chargers (-2) at New Orleans Saints

I really hate the Chargers. They're a team who doesn't know if they want to be good or mediocre until week 13. One week they'll blow a team out and the next they'll lose a game they should win. The Saints on the other hand seem to be the NFC version of that. I'm going to take the team playing tougher right now.

Chargers -2



Kansas City Chiefs at New York Jets (-8.5)

How do you give the Jets that much after they lose to Oakland? Because they're playing the Chiefs at the Meadowlands that's how. If this was the Premier League the the Chiefs would have dropped down a league already.

Jets -8.5



Atlanta Falcons at Philadelphia Eagles (-5)

It looks like Matt Ryan will be the man in A-town for years to come. If they could add some key players they'll be a force in the NFC. The Eagles are struggling to keep pace in the East and they need this game bad. They'll come out strong but you know Philly. If something like a turnover happens early the fans will get on them and Atlanta should be able to keep it close.

Falcons +5



Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers (-2)

I luuuuuvvvv my sleeper team! But this week I think they'll be a little outmatched. Come on ... this isn't the Seachickens or 49er's they're playing. This is a dominant team. I'm not saying that the Cards don't have it but put the Panthers at home and you've got a victory for Carolina.

Cardinals -2


Oakland Raiders at Baltimore Ravens (-5.5)
This is the team that lost to the Saints by over 30. Now you're going to send them across the country into Baltimore to play a tough defense with a young offense. Advantage Ravens.

Ravens -5.5

Cleveland Browns at Jacksonville Jaguars (-3.5)

The last few weeks the Browns have been a surprising team. First beating the Giants and then taking the Redskins to the wire. They must have figured out something during that bye week to turn things around. The Jags have been dissappointing thus far. But with home field I think they'll manage to pull out on top .... only by a last second field goal.

Browns +3.5

Cincinnati Bengals at Houston Texans (-6.5)

Hahahahaha ..... Bengals .... Hahahahaha.

Texans -6.5

New York Giants at Pittsburgh Steelers (-1)

This is basically a pick 'em. Who do you like more? The 2005 Champs or the 2007 Champs? Do you like the Steelers D line or the Giants? Eli or Big Ben? Coca-Cola or Pepsi? ....Sorry I got carried away. The noise factor will give the Steelers the assist and push Pittsburgh over the top.

Steelers -1

Seattle Seahawks at San Francisco 49er's (-6.5)

Getting bored .... will anyone watch this game?

Seahawks +6.5


MONDAY OCTOBER 27TH

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans (-4.5)

I don't have much time left before opening kickoff in Wembley ... I just heard a bunch of British people attempting to keep pace singing God save the Queen while Joss Stone went on a Diva tirade. At least the anthem is short and she didn't make it sound bad. Titans win but not by much.

Colts +4.5

NFL Picks Week 7

So Nighthawk is unable to make his picks this week, so I was asked to pinch-hit.



A couple changes from the norm.



1. I will be picking the game and not against the spread. As Herm Edwards says "You play to wint the game!" Not the spread. Not once in my life have I given points to someone in a bet. I have taken them though, usually to my benefit.



2. The picks this week will probably be much better than usual, because I am doing them.



3. Nighthawk will probably be bragging next week at me going 2-12 or something like that.



Without further wait onto the picks.





San Diego at Buffalo



Tough game to choose. Bills QB Trent Edwards was knocked out of the game last week with a concussion. I expect him to be a little gun-shy this week against a tough SD defense.



Pick: San Diego





New Orleans at Carolina



I have learned to not bet on New Orleans due to their unpredictability. The Panthers have the advantage playing at home on a grass surface which will negate the Saints speed.



Pick: Carolina





Minnesota at Chicago



Kyle Orton is playing efficient mistake free football this season. Meanwhile Minnesota has been playing the 2 headed atrocity that is Tavaris Jackson/Gus Frerotte. Minnesota's only hope is their running attack spearheaded by Adrian Petersen. The Bears run defense should limit big plays though. See above for comments about a dome team playing outdoors on grass.



Pick: Chicago





Pittsburgh at Cinncinnati



Even if the Bungles had Carson Palmer playing, this game would still be a lock for the Steelers. Big Ben is undefeated in Ohio since he entered the NFL. Expect a big game from Mewelde Moore and the Steelers run game. If Moore can gash Jacksonville for 99 yards imagine what he'll do to the Bungles run D



Pick: Steelers





Tennessee at Kansas City



While I have doubts about Kerry Collins leading a footbal team anywhere in the playoffs, he should be able to lead the Titans to a victory against the Larry Johnson-less Cheifs who was suspended for this game.



Pick: Tennessee





Baltimore at Miami



The Dolphins have been winning with solid defense and smoke and mirrors on offense. Baltimore has a good defense but no explosiveness on offense.



Pick: Dolphins





San Francisco at New York Giants



Last week the Giants lost against the Browns because they were looking ahead to the 49's. Yeah, I'm sure that's what happenend. Either way, the 49's aren't going to fly across the country and beat the defending Super Bowl champs.



Pick: Giants





Dallas at St. Louis



Romo is out (probably), so is Felix Jones, Terrance Newman, Adam Jones and Anthony Spencer. So of course I'm going to pick the Rams right? Wrong. Brad Johnson is a Super Bowl Champion QB, and I think he will do just enough to win. If I'm wrong, feel free to told me I told you so.



Pick: Dallas


Detroit at Houston

This is simple. Never bet on Detroit. Especially on the road.

Pick: Houston


Indianopolis at Green Bay

Indy looked great last week against Baltimore's defense. I can't bet against them. Even on the road.

Pick: Indy


NY Jets at Oakland

This is easy. Never bet on Oakland, especially when they have a coach with 3 weeks experience.

Pick: NY Jets


Cleveland at Washingon

I hate both teams. Cleveland because well it is Cleveland and Washington because my old boss who I despise has wet dreams about the Joe Gibbs era.

Pick: No pick but I'm rooting for the Browns and Redskins team buses to crash and explode on the way to the stadium.


Seattle at Tampa Bay

Easy pick here. Seattle sucks this season. Jeremy Stevens gets revenge on his old team. For what I don't know, but Tampa Bay wins.

Pick: Tampa Bay


Denver at New England

Denver's run defense sucks but Laurence Maroney is probably out. So that is a wash. Jay Cutler and the Broncos secondary is better than New England's on both accounts.

Pick: Denver

Presidential Debate Drinking Rules

Well, we really dropped the ball here. No drinking rules for the first 2 Presidential and the VP debate? My apologies. If you want to know, yes I got the idea from SNL and Tina Fey.



Presidential Debates are a perfect candidate for drinking rules. Take something that is usually boring add some beer and liquor and presto! You've got a great way to spend an evening! No talking to the wife or girlfriend to entertain yourself!



So without further ado, here are the rules for the third and final Presidential Debate:



1. The "My Friends" rule.


Anytime John McCain says "My Friends" drink 5 seconds.



2. Change Rule


No, not quarters. Anytime either candidate mentions the word change drink 5 seconds.



3. Bush Rule


Whenever a candidate's votes, policies or record are tied to President Bush drink 5 seconds.



4. Bailout


No, not out of a plane dumbass! When the candidates or moderator mentions the word bailout, drink 5 seconds.


5. Rambling Rule


Drink for 10 seconds when a candidate ignores the moderater's question and goes off a tangent. Rule requires approval of half the people in the room. Drink double if the moderater calls him out on it.



6. Stan Rule


No, not the kid from South Park. Great show though. Drink for 5 seconds anytime the candidates or moderator mention a "stan" country (Afghanistan, Pakistan, etc.).



7. Stories


Anytime Obama mentions his childhood or McCain mentions his Navy career, drink for 5 seconds. Take a shot if McCain talks about his time as a POW.



8. Washington Insiders


When a candidate bashes the so called "Washington Insiders" drink for 5 seconds.

9. Names

Drink 3 seconds anytime one candidate mentions the other by name. First names, last names and titles all count. For example, Senator McCain would be 6 seconds.

Coming soon - Drinking rules for election night. Because everyone deserves a reason to drink on a Tuesday night. Plus, this year could be a nailbiter and for those actually concerned with the election results, alcohol will do a good job of calming your nerves.

What Your Car Says About You

Kia/Hyundia - Congratulations! You are so ignorant about cars you actually bought one made in Korea. Don't be surprised when the transmission fails, clutch fails or passenger side window breaks without even being hit. Hopefully, after buying one of these vehicles, you figure out how much they suck, and switch to another brand.


















Chevy Silverado - If you own this vehicle odds are you are driving around a town of about 3,500 people in Kansas or Nebraska whith the windows down and obnoxiously blaring Kenny Chesney to every unfoturnate soul within earshot. Oh yeah, and you only use the bed as a place to toss empty beer cans and fuck your fat-ass redneck girlfriend.









Hybrid - People who own a hybrid represent the Aging Hippy Liberal Douche played so well on the Southpark episode with the "Goobacks." Also, you may be an idealistic college student whose rich parents bought you a status symbol at some elite eastern college.






Ferrari - I think Nicholas Cage's words in "Gone in 60 Seconds" fit best here. Simply put, you are a self indulgent weiner. Also, I place odds that you are probably compensating for something. And one more thing, if you're fortunate enough to own a quarter million dollar car, quit bitching about your taxes. Most people in Pittsburgh would be lucky to own a quarter million dollar house!






PT Cruiser - Simply put, you suck. Even worse than the Ferrari and Hybrid drivers. At least their cars are conversation starters. You are probably a relative of Ned Flanders or at least wear the same stupid outfit and say random shit like diddly. Just as bad you always drive 5 miles per hour below the speed limit obstructing the way of people who actually have to be places.





Buick - Get off the road Grandpa! The average age of Buick owners is like 71 years old or something. Only in America would we let people with deteriorating eyesight drive the largest cars on the road. I'm all for freedom and equality but giving a 75 year old person a car is like handing a loaded firearm to a 6 year old. The results will be funny, provided that you aren't the one hurt.





Smart Car - Honestly, I'm all for helping out the environment. Seriously. But still, take care of your safety before you take care of the environment. Sure the Smart Car gets like 58 MPG, but who do you think is going to the hospital when you collide with a tractor trailer, Cadillac Escalade or even worse, an 80 year old in a Buick? You'll be the one in a body cast while they keep on driving thinking they just hit a speed bump. So do yourself a favor and buy something a little safer. If you want a cheap car with good gas mileage and guarantees you won't be getting laid anytime soon, a new Ford Focus only costs about $13,000.

Greatest Sports Curses

The Cubbies the Cubbies. One hundred years and you'd think they would have learned something. You know ... like don't lose! Or don't own the best record and then get swept. One hundred years is a long time. I hope you weren't planning on doing anything special after the Championship comes to town because you might want to move that date up. The Championship isn't coming anytime soon. Not unless you're a Black Sox ... er .. .White Sox fan. There I go with the whole curse thing again. At least the White Sox broke theirs. As did other teams like the Red Sox and New York Rangers. But the Chicago Cubs and their fans aren't alone. After much research we've compiled a list of ten of the greatest and favorite active curses.

10. Canadian Hockey Teams and the Marty McSorely Curse

In 1993 the Montreal Canadiens played the Los Angeles Kings in the NHL finals. The Kings, up 1-0 in the series and 2-1 in game 2 with 1:38 to play, were in full control until the Canadiens head coach, Jaques Demers, called for the curve of Marty McSorely’s stick blade to be measured. The refs did and found an illegal curve on the blade. McSorely was sent to the penalty box and the Canadiens scored on the power play to tie it. In overtime the Canadiens won and never looked back, winning the cup in five games. Since then no team from Canada has been able to win Lord Stanley. Four teams have made it and all four have lost to their American opponents. Three series went to a seventh game and the most recent, the Senators vs the Ducks, only lasted five.

9. The Curse of Bobby Layne

The Detroit Lions were actually a good franchise at one point believe it or not. In the 50’s they won 3 Titles in 6 years (’52, ’53 and ’57). Their quarterback for those titles, Bobby Layne, was traded to the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1958. Layne in his rage declared that the Lions would not win again for 50 years (that would be this year if you’re scoring at home). He’s close. While they’ve won a few games in the regular season they’ve only been winners of 1 playoff game and owners of some of the worst teams, draft picks, and GM’s in football history. They have the second longest current title drought behind the Arizona Cardinals.

8. The Pottsville, PA Curse

The Cardinals are the oldest professional football team in the country. They also only have two professional titles. One was from an NFL title game in 1947 and the other is from a controversial decision in 1925 that awarded them the league title for having the best record over the Pottsville Maroons. Back then they were the Chicago Cardinals. The Pottsville Maroons played a game against Notre Dame All-Stars in Philadelphia that the league didn’t sanction. The NFL fined the Maroons, revoked league privileges and awarded the title to the Cardinals despite the Maroons having the best league record. The citizens of Pottsville declared a curse on the Cardinals franchise for undeservedly claiming the title saying that the curse will only be lifted when the title is returned to the city. After that the Cardinals went 20 years and only posted 2 winning records. They won an NFL Championship in 1947 and then never won another title. Since their title they have been to the playoffs just 5 times winning only once. Cards … do yourself a favor. Go to the Yeungling Brewing plant in Pottsville and beg for forgiveness. Bring Matt Leinart along for a publicity beer bong stunt. Return the title. Only then will all be forgiven. Refuse and you shall be the NFL’s bitch for all eternity.

7. Coogan's Bluff, The Curse of the San Francisco Giants

When the Giants left New York for San Francisco at the end of 1957 the Giant’s fans in New York professed that the team would never win another Championship. Coogan’s Bluff, another name for the Polo Grounds that the Giants played on, gives name to their curse. The Giants have won 3 pennants since they left New York but zero World Series victories. Even with great players like Barry Bonds and Willie Mays they’ve failed in the big games. Their biggest sign of the curse was in 1989 when a massive Earthquake struck during the World Series and delayed the Giants home half of the series. The Series was delayed 10 days. The Giants were spooked and swept.

6. The Curse of Buffalo

The city of Buffalo has long been host to the proud professional sports teams of the NFL Bills and the NHL Sabres. Few know they also were host to an NBA team, the Braves, that departed for San Diego in 1978 and eventually became the Clippers. The apparent curse explains that no Major Sports Franchise will ever win a title while in the city of Buffalo. The Bill have been affected by the curse by losing four straight Super Bowls at one point. The won two AFL titles in ’64 and ’65 but have failed to win the title since the NFL merger. Their most notable loss was in 1991 when Scott Norwood’s last second field goal attempt went wide right thus ensuring a Giants victory.

The Sabres have been to just one Stanley Cup Finals losing in six games on the infamous Brett Hull foot in the crease goal. [Update: I've been corrected. The Sabres also lost in the '74-'75 Finals to the Flyers. That makes 2 Finals that they've attended. Apologies.] The Music City Miracle … Miracle for who? Oh yeah …. And OJ.

5. The Toronto Maple Leafs: 1967 NHL Expansion Curse

In the early days of hockey there were the Original Six. The Toronto Maple Leafs, as one of them, was a dominant team winning 13 titles as a franchise. In 1967 the NHL decided to expand it’s league from 6 teams to 12. In the 41 years since the expansion the Maple Leafs haven’t won the Stanley Cup once. The team hasn’t even made the Finals. In fact they’ve only even won their division once! Hell even if they did make it they’d still have to find a way to get past the Marty McSorely Curse.

4. The Curse of Billy Penn

The City of Philadelphia has now gone 100 Sports Years (since 1983) without a Championship in the Four Major Sports despite numerous Finals appearances. Unfortunately (for them) they can only blame themselves. The city had a long standing gentleman’s agreement that no building in the city’s center would be built higher than the shoe buckles of the William Penn statue that sits on top of City Hall. In 1985 the agreement was broken when they started to build One Liberty Place. Since that time Philadelphia has incurred the wrath of Billy Penn. In 1987 it started with the Flyers losing Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals to the Edmonton Oilers. The Eagles added to the misery losing three straight NFC title games from 2001-2003 before winning in 2004. They then went on to lose the Super Bowl thanks to a 4th quarter field goal from Adam Vinateri. The worst moment in Philly Sports History may belong to Mitch Williams who served the Blue Jays’ Joe Carter a delicious home run which ended the 1993 World Series.

Oh yeah … Phillies … 10,000 losses … enough said. Last year a group of Union Workers attempted to break the curse when they attached a small William Penn statue to the top of the Comcast Center which is now the tallest structure in Philadelphia. You Stay Classy Philly!

3. Mistake By the Lake - The Cleveland Curse
In an obvious attempt to duplicate a much better city, Cleveland has followed the Buffalo blueprint of no success. With three major sports franchises, the Cavaliers, the Indians, and the Browns, the city of Cleveland has gone since 1964 without a Championship of any kind when the Browns won the NFL Championship (pre-merger). The following year Jim Brown retired to work on his acting career. The Indians last title came in 1948 when it beat the Boston Braves. The Cavaliers have only been to one NBA Finals since entering the league in 1970. Cleveland have been on the receiving end of many gut wrenching and amazing sports moments such as ‘The Drive’, ‘The Fumble’, Willie Mays’ ‘The Catch’, Michael Jordan’s ‘The Shot’, and ‘Red Right 88’. All of this might invoke some sympathy if it was any other city but Cleveland. Suckas!!!

2. The Curse of Barry Bonds

As I write this I’m shuddering in crazy convulsion. Got I hate this curse. Most people think the Pirates 16 straight losing seasons started when we failed to sign Barry in the 1992-1993 off season. Our curse actually started when Barry told Andy Van Slyke to piss on a rope and refused to move up when Cabrerra came up to bat in the 1992 NLCS. Cabrerra hit a single into left and Barry failed to throw out a bum-knee Sid Bream who was running from second. Braves win. Buccos began losing season number 1. From there Barry began an unprecedented period of baseball by winning the MVP five more times and being crowned the single season and career Home Run King. The Pirates haven’t had a winning record since stretching the streak to 16 straight years. They have had two of the worst GM’s in baseball history and made historically bad trades. The sad thing is, like the Cubs and city of Philadelphia, there is no end in sight.

1. Fred Merkle and the Curse of the Billy Goat

This one is so good that it has two curses! Chicago. Chicago, Chicago, Chicago. Damn. I’m from Pittsburgh so you better take this as a slap in the face when I talk about your baseball team. You Guys Suck!!! I mean that in the nicest way possible. Not really but whatever. Whenever a team goes 100 years without a Championship its bad and it’s serious business. I mean Philly went 100 Sports Seasons without one but that’s between 4 teams. You guys went 100 full years (and counting) without a World Series Title. In America’s Pastime! And you guys have one of the highest payrolls!! You haven’t even won a pennant since 1945! You guys Suck!!! Anyways let’s look at why. In 1908 the Cubs were playing the Giants in a game on September 23rd. On a game winning single Fred Merkle of the Giants failed to touch 2nd base and was ruled out when the Cubs ran over and touched the base. The game was declared a tie and a few days later the season ended with the Cubs and Giants tied for the best record in the National League. The Cubs won in a one game playoff and went on to win the World Series. Since then the Cubs have yet to win the World Series. Another attempt to explain the absence of titles is the Curse of the Billy Goat. In 1945 Billy Sianis brought his pet goat along to the World Series against the Detroit Tigers. After being ejected from the stadium Sianis was enraged and proclaimed that the Cubs would never win a World Series or a Pennant while at Wrigley Field. And they haven’t. The historic moments against the Cubs include Babe Ruth calling his shot, the 1969 epic collapse where they lost an 8 ½ game lead in the final month and a half, and the Steve Bartman interference. Oh yeah and Cubs baseball still sucks.

Honorable Mentions:

Coin Flip Curse - Phoenix Suns

The Madden Curse

Curse of Norm Smith - Melbourne Football Club, Australian Football League

Regards to: Seattle, San Diego, Houston

NFL PICKS: Week 6

Ahh the week that was and the week that will be. I've got one one-hundred percent, guarantee to not be wrong or your money back prediction this week: The Steelers will not, I repeat, will not lose! I know ... I know. It's sure fire genius of a prediction but that's why I'm here to make these John Madden-esque mind boggling predictions. Pure genius. Go ahead and say it. Anyways, because I'm a lazy ass bum this week ... well that and I've been drunk since Thursday night and woke up in some strange girls bed this morning, I'm just sending in the picks without the usual banter about which team's defense sucks and why some player is a little bitch. Here's the picks!

SUNDAY OCTOBER 12

Chicago Bears (-3.5) at Atlanta Falcons

Bears -3.5

Baltimore Ravens at Indianapolis Colts (-2)

Ravens +2

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings (-11)

Vikings -11

Oakland Raiders at New Orleans Saints (-7.5)

Saints -7.5

Cincinnati Bengals at New York Jets (-7.5)

Jets -7.5

Carolina Panthers (-2.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Buccaneers +2.5

St. Louis Rams at Washington Redskins (-13.5)

Redskins -13.5

Miami Dolphins (-2.5) at Houston Texans

Dolphins -2.5

Jacksonville Jaguars at Denver Broncos (-3.5)

Jaguars +3.5

Dallas Cowboys (-3.5) at Arizona Cardinals

Cardinals +3.5

Philadelphia Eagles (-4.5) at San Francisco 49er's

Eagles -4.5

Green Bay Packers (-4) at Seattle Seahawks

Packers -4

New England Patriots at San Diego Chargers (-1.5)

Chargers -1.5

MONDAY OCTOBER 13

New York Giants (-8) at Cleveland Browns

Giants -8

Last Weeks Record: 6-8

Season Record: 38-36

Irish Road Trip: Links for the Day

The Flyers remake Major League 2: Back to the Minors.

http://allthingsphillysports.blogspot.com/2008/10/flyers-lose-to-phantoms-in-final.html

James Harrison calls Referee a little bitch. NFL doesn't like it.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/8652330

TMZ puts things in perspective for Cubs fans

http://www.tmz.com/2008/10/05/dear-chicago-cubs-fans/

Busted Coverage did one better with this video

http://www.bustedcoverage.com/?p=7814

And finally we leave you with Lanny Frattare reflecting on his time with the Bucs.

http://www.pittsburghpostgazette.com/pg/08282/918178-63.stm

THE COOLEST (DRINKING) GAME ON EARTH

Since the NHL has been dubbed the ‘Coolest Game on Earth’ my buddies and I, who are hockey nuts, decided that it needed the honor of a drinking game. After we started we realized we needed to jot down the rules sometime when we were sober. Well now they're here for your drinking pleasure. And think, only two games late!

Materials needed:

Boobs are not a required material but they go well with a shot glass

1. One shot glass per person
2. Two Quarters per person
3. A whole bunch of pennies (preferably 20+)
4. Beer per Person in Cup (no bottles or cans)
5. Choice liquor (whatever floats your boat)
6. Game Face (that’s right … bring it bitch!)

Another excuse to view a girl without a shirt


Rules:

1. KEY PLAYERS SELECTION
-Drinkers must all decide on 3-4 Players from the hockey game to be a part of their drinking game. Preferable if chosen from the 3rd and 4th lines. These will be your Key Players.

2. KEY PLAYER SCRAMBLE
-The scramble goes like this. The play-by-play announcer calls the names of the players on the ice. If he announces a Key Player’s name (it doesn’t matter if it’s during play or not), all of the drinkers must try to bounce a quarter into their shot glass. Last person to do so receives a penny. In the event that Key Player’s are called back to back you must get two quarters in. It will be run like there are two quick rounds. If there are 4 drinkers and 3 get quarters in, the 4th drinker gets a penny and can start on ‘round 2’ of the back to back Key Player names immediately. Whoever loses that next round will take the next penny.

3. FIVE PENNY SLAM
-Once a Drinker accumulates 5 pennies he must immediately take a shot. They can then return their pennies to the middle of the table (or wherever you’re keeping them).

If you're keeping score at home you owe 10 seconds

4. GOAL!!!!!
-Drink 10 seconds every time a goal is scored!

5. PENALTY
-Drink 5 seconds for every Penalty.

6. ICING
-No fat-ass! Get off my Betty Crocker! This is Hockey Icing! Drink 5 seconds every time the puck is iced.

If you're a man you'll drink more for a victory

7. FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!!!!
-If there is a Manly display of power you will reward that display by doing something else manly. Drink the entire time the players are scrapping! You may stop if your beer is finished. But go get another one! You are rewarded for your own display of Man Power by not having to drink 5 seconds for the penalty.






8. BLOOD SPORT
-Anytime you see blood be manly and drink 5 seconds.

Can you say Luck?

9. CLANG!!! SCRAMBLE!!!
-If the puck is rung off the pipes every one must bounce their quarter into their shot glass. Last one to make it has to take an immediate shot.

10. SPEED RULE
-The Hockey game will not stop for you just because you’re a little bitch who is getting owned in quarters or if your beer has run out. If a Key Players name is called or a post is hit with a puck while you are getting your shot you must drink it as fast as you can before you can play that quarters round. If everyone gets their quarter in before you return you receive another penny. If it happens while you’re refreshing your beer then hurry!

Nice to meet you Mr. Alfredsson. Big fan.

11. JACKED UP!!!
-Heavy body checks are rewarded with a 3 second drink

Pretty soon I'll have a ring you can kiss during these handshakes little bro'

12. BONUS – STAAL GAMES!!!!!
-This is an awesome time in the NHL right now because there are three Staal brothers in the league (the 4th is a good prospect). Two of them are in the same division. If you’re playing this game and two brothers are in it playing each other then two of your Key Players must be the Staal brothers. And anytime they show the parents it’s a 5 second social.