On Irish Road

Super Steeler Babes

2009-09-09T17:04:00.052-04:00

Thursday September 10th

Tennessee Titans at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6)

I didn't want to give a cliche' start of the season preview and predictions that you're use to getting. Instead I wanted to just bring you my pick for Thursday's game and then let you drool, mind numbingly over the epic amount of hot babes in Steeler gear. There's 44 pics in honor of Super Bowl XLIV that will be played this year. Yeah ..... That's a much better start to the season than some crappy prediction. Go Steelers!
Prediction: Steelers -6

She doesn't make bad calls

Who will play touch with her?

Cougars are fans too

Steelers and fishnets ... who knew?

Friends don't let friends cheer for the Ravens

Or the Browns

No worries ... nobody cheers for the Bengals anyways

Steelers and Whiskey?!? A woman after my heart!

Mmmmmm

Ooh ... Steelers bag!

Three of them ... so you can share one with a friend

Okay. So technically not all of them are wearing Steeler gear.

Please say this is the new ball girl. Please say this is the new ball girl. Please say .....

This dress says "I want to be formal but I'm here to party!"

May be the hottest chick with Steeler gear on .... ever!

Alyssa Milano can't keep her hands off champion merchandise.

Just ... a little .... lower!!!

Perfect technique on the cradle

Bonus: Steelers Babes in Video!

People videos

In retrospect .... that video was kind of gay.

HISTORY IN THE MAKING!!!

2009-09-07T15:47:00.010-04:00

Rainy Day. Fitting of The record breaking clincher.

Seventeen. Seventeen long years ago the Pirates ownership and management set out on a quest to produce one of the worst professional franchises in history. Aided only by a boom in the steroid era, free agency, and awful management they finally achieved the record of losing more consecutive seasons than any other franchise has in any of the four professional sports.

Our Quaker Steak and Lube Lady

Me and my good, drunken buddies, set forth to witness this history in the making. Armed with only our nameless Pirates gear and a shit ton of road sodas (or screw drivers) we arrived fashionably late to the game .... somewhere around 4th inning. The Bucs were already down 3-1 and we were already down about 8 shots of vodka (in a 30 minute span).

We walked up to the usher and had this conversation:

Usher: Tickets? ..... You guys are in row M .... great seats! They're out in the rain though. Do you want me to sit you in some dry seats under the grandstands?

Irish Road: Naw ... We've survived 17 years of this shit so far ... It will only be fitting watching this one in the rain.

Usher: Good Point.

So we go an sit in the rain. Runhigh promised me that the weather front was going to pass soon. I don't know if I believed him. The irony of it all was that in my baseball fanhood these were the best seats I've ever had. Seventeen years. In a downpour. On the day that they clinch the losing record. My fitting life as a Pirates fan. Bill Simmons eat your heart out.

Cub fans we shouted insults at

The Buccos never really threatened but these Cubs fans did. I came armed with a plethora of insults for them (who seemed to almost outnumber the Pirate fans) and a few impromptu ones on the spot. Some of them include:

"Hey Cub fans! We might be earning number 17 but you assholes are starting season 101!!!"

"Hey Cub fans! Say hi to my buddy Steve Bartman!!!"

"Hey Cub fans! Do you know what we have in common? We'll both be watching the playoffs from our couches!!!"

From the Cubs fans: "Hey! I don't see you with a girlfriend!"

Irish Road: "Hey! I don't see you with a cute girlfriend!"

"Hey Cub fans! I saved you some seats in front of us. Number 19 through number 08!!!"

By the way that last on pissed them off the most. It also got a huge laugh from the ushers and other Pirate fans nearby.

Yes ... it takes a special person to be a fan of the Pirates for 17 straight losing seasons. Year in ... Year out ... Bad trade after bad signing after bad trading after horrible free agency signing. Yes the Buccos through and through are awful. And today we clinch the Record Breaker.

Cubs Fan in a Pirates Labor Day Hat

So .... um ... Let's go Bucs! And remember ... for Pittsburghers there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For some it's the Steelers and the Penguins. For others it the knowledge that you aren't a Cubs fan.

Go Bucs!

Port-O-Pong ... Dual Purpose Beer Pong

2009-09-07T00:33:00.012-04:00

So a few weeks ago my friends at Port-O-Pong send me their product an inflatable beer pong table. It's suppose to be used in the pool and trust me I'm still dying to use it in one. Anything that involves a pool and drinking is awesome by Irish Road standards. But being a city resident in Pittsburgh makes it hard to have easy access to a pool ... at least a pool you can drink in too (Note: If you have a pool and would like to kick it with Irish Road and my awesome new beer toy just contact me).

But this little set back won't stop me and my buddies from being the most inventive drinker I can be. So what do we decide to do? What all good Pittsburghers who love beer and sports do ... Tailgate! Fuck ... an inflatable table can easily be propped up on shit and still used for it's intended purpose. You know ... drinking. But this table has some advantages over normal tables that you can bring to a tailgate.

1 - It's inflatable. For those of you who are drunk while reading this, first off I applaud you for being drunk while reading my site, but more importantly it means it's compact. Less space is taken away from your beer coolers, grill and portable chairs. Then when you're finished you just pop the valve and it is deflated and packed up.

2 - The cups are held in place by the table. This is necessary when playing at a tailgate. There is always wind in the parking lots by the stadiums. On any normal table the cups would blow away and dump your beer. On this table they're stable and actually pushed down into the raft/table. Bonus! Use your table for a game of liquor pong! Since the cups aren't moving you don't have to worry about the pong balls not going in. The table isn't going anywhere because the company was smart enough to include rope to tie it down.

3 - It holds 10 cups. That's right .... 10. And it has a place for the water cup too. Seriously you have some game options.

Seriously this is one of the coolest beer accessories and products I've ever had or used. We're trying to figure out other ways to use it and have some ideas in the works and we'll bring them to you as soon as they are field tested (aka as we get drunk). I won't lie ... we made quite a mess and got beer freakin everywhere. But when we got back to the house all we had to do was hose it off and it was clean. We had zero problems attracting chicks over to the tailgate while playing this either. Yeah ... Port-O-Pong is a chick magnet ... err ... raft? Whatever.

We were trying to come up with stories on how the guys at Port-O-Pong came up with this idea. Our best one? They were probably at a buddies house working on their tan while getting hammered and floating on a raft in the pool. "Dude ... you know what would kick ass?" "What man?" "If I could play beer pong right now!" "Yeah man ... let's go inside and play!" "No dude! I mean right now ... while floating on this raft! I don't even have to take off my orange floaties!"

Yeah ... that's exactly how it happened. Um ... okay .... probably not. But a huge thanks to the guys at Port-O-Pong and we'll look forward to drinking with their next invention!

If you want to get your own table check them out at http://www.portopong.com/

The Pirates Sinking Ship

2009-08-28T10:57:00.008-04:00

With another August almost under the Pirates belt and 37 games remaining the Pirates stand at 53-72, 19 games under .500. At this point the Buccos would have to pull off an amazing 28-9 record to break even and avoid being the owners of the worst consecutive losing seasons in professional sports. Unlikely. Okay … very unlikely. Alright … fucking impossible. Let’s face it, these guys are and have been downright awful. They should get an ESPY just for an unprecedented level of crappiness. It would probably look something like this.

But lets face it the moves made this year were pretty good. I mean who did we get rid of? Nate McLouth, our best player, is out on the DL right now. His replacement McCutchen is better with worlds of potential to skyrocket into greatness within a year or two. Freddy Sanchez is solid. He was a clutch hitter. But Delwyn Young has given us no reason to think that he can’t hit or field just as well. I tend to believe he has a little more power too.

Adam Laroche? Laugher. You could replace him with one of those kids from LLWS and not lose any Major League production at the plate. Anybody we put there can’t be any worse.

Jack Wilson? Please. The guy, as loveable as he was, is a mediocre shortstop at best. Jack Wilson is like that mole on Cindy Crawford’s face. You can call them charming and a trademark all you want but the end result of removing it just makes the product even better.

Nyjer Morgan? Now that one is a toss up. But I think the experts were right when they say his replacement, Lastings Milledge, if harnessed and attitude adjusted, can be a really solid and possibly all-star quality player. You can already see the change in him just from playing with Andrew McCutchen. I think he looks up to McCutchen and drives to be as good. These two can be one of the most dynamic duos in the outfield that Pittsburgh has seen in a long time. And depending on where Garret Jones ends up people may start talking Bucco baseball if for nothing else but the best outfield in the league.

Now if we could just get some consistency from the bullpen …

5 Reasons Steel Town Gets a 7th

2009-08-18T22:25:00.014-04:00

I could give you six reasons

One preseason week down and we are three weeks away from opening up the 2009 NFL season in a Thursday night match up with the Tennessee Titans. We've had no shortage of story lines during the off-season. First Jay Cutler cried like a 40 year old bitch named Brett Favre about not getting his ass kissed by media, fans, and team leadership alike and forced a trade from the Broncos to the Chicago Bears. Speaking of the 40 year old child, Brett Favre retired and came back and joined the Vikings and then didn't join the Vikings and then signed with the Vikings. One of the biggest stories was the Ron Mexico fiasco as Michael Vick exited prison and joined the Philthadelphia Iggles. Just goes to show you that Philly will do anything they can to drive Donovan McNabb from their city. Shame. He's one of those rare, decent athletes that could actually put up with them. Wait a second ... maybe that's not a shame.

The biggest storyline in in Pittsburgh has been the Ben Roethlisberger alleged affair. As the facts surface it's looking like a bigger load of crap than the Pirates upcoming 17th consecutive losing season. It just goes to show you: If you mess with with Steeler Country bad things will come your way. So since that storyline is done like Plaxico's career I decided to take a different approach and give you my 5 reasons the Steelers repeat this year.

1. Big Ben

Ben Roethlisberger is, as Mark Madden puts it, the biggest money quarterback in the league today. Just look at the guy's stats just 5 years into his impressive career. He's been in the AFC title game 3 times with a record of 2-1. He's 59-22 in regular season and playoff games combined. He holds a 89.1 career passer rating. He has 15 come from behind wins in the fourth quarter and the guy wears 2 Super Bowl rings to boot. What more can you ask for?

2. The Renegade Defense

The number one defense in the league returns 9 of 11 starters from last year. They actually upgraded on one of those losses. Yeah. Upgraded. Lawrence Timmons steps in to Larry Foote's shoes as the middle Linebacker and his speed has been compared to Troy Polamalu's. How is a guy that big that fast?!? Who cares!?! Just sit back and enjoy! Of course he won't have the same instincts to start that Larry Foote had. But when the great Dick Lebeau is your defensive coordinator something tells you're going to be groomed into a smart defensive player. Finally the Steelers have a completely healthy outside linebacker corps (don't worry I'm knocking on wood right now so as not to jinx it) who combined for 27.5 sacks a year ago. This year they face teams who, aside from three of them, we're weak when it came to giving up sacks.

3. Young Blood

As key aspects of the team have supposedly gotten older the front office has yet again proved it's genius and performed miracles in drafting and signing key players to fill in the holes for the future. Such youth include a run stopper up the middle in Ziggy Hood who is faster and leaner than the amazing Casey Hampton. Time will only tell if he can fill in Hampton's pants ... er ... shoes but all signs point to yes. The return of Rashaard Mendenhall is great news as Willie Parker has been injury prone as of late. While he may not replace Parker right away he stands to become a great change of pace/power back right now. If he pans out to be the runner that he was during his impressive college career the Steelers can put their mind at ease on a much improved running game this season. Especially with the pickup of Frank the Tank and Isaac Redman. The running game of the Steelers may be at the best it's been in years ... nay decades! And that isn't even the topper! The Steelers now have two Super Bowl MVP wide receivers. Holmes is only entering his fourth year. In the wings we have two more ultra talented receivers. One being Limas Sweed who has shown incredible potential and has a burning desire to make up for some key dropped passes last season. Never underestimate a young player like that who has tutelage from Hines Ward. The second receiver being veteran Shaun McDonald who, while not being too young, is still only 28 and in his 7th season and new to a team with a great QB, seeing that he has come from the lowly Detroit Lions.

4. The Rest of the League

I don't get why everyone is hyping up the Patriots this season? Is it the return of Tom Brady? The guy who hasn't thrown above 30 TD passes, aside from one great season in which he broke the record. Is it the fact that they lost their Offensive coordinator and key elements of their defense? Or maybe it's because they think Brady will have the return season that Carson Palmer didn't following his horrific knee injury. I think they're being overestimated a bit. I would take them to win their division but they'll never be as dominant as that 18-1 one season (oops ... cheap shot ... I know). The Ravens didn't get any better. Flacco will only have the Sophomore jinx affected on him this season. The Giants are always overestimated as long as they think Eli Manning is the greatest QB in the league. So who's left? The Vikings with Brett Favre? The Eagles with their upcoming QB controversy (yeah ... it's still freakin' Philadelphia too)? The point is there is nobody on the same level as the Steelers this year barring injury to the starters (knock on wood again). Which brings me to my last point ...

5. Strength of Schedule

The Steelers ended up 12-4 in the regular season and won the Super Bowl in a season in which the 'experts' said they'd be lucky to go 9-7 and make the playoffs (these same experts said the defense was aging and would be a weak point ... go figure). This year, with a probable better team, they face a weaker set of opponents.

I am Irish Road ... I don't claim to be an expert. Although I did pick better than most of them against the spread last year. But as I sit here drinking my craft beer I am predicting another 12-4 season. One filled with a Stairway to Seven, as we may come to call it in Steel Town after the Men of Steel hoist a record seventh Vince Lombardi Trophy.

Real (Sports) Talk

2009-08-05T16:10:00.006-04:00

With training camps around the NFL in full swing we are now able to get that awesome feeling of football season, and more importantly Steeler season, creeping up on us. With the Ben Roethlisberger scandal there have been no shortage of stories around the team. If you’re Big Ben though it’s nice to know that Steeler Country has your back. She probably missed this sign on the way into fix his T.V.

Polamalu is sitting out practices left and right with discomfort in the hamstring again. Dick LeBeau one of the top two players he’s ever coached (Carnell Lake is the other) and Mike Tomlin was quoted saying "I would imagine he could role out of bed and play strong safety in the NFL, That's what makes him Troy." No small exchange of words from a Super Bowl Champion head coach. The other notable Steeler missing practice is the great Hines Ward. But as the Super Genius Mark Madden puts it, if you have two veterans of that caliber missing practice its not that big of a deal unless some rookie complains about it and causes a stir. “I’d rather they missed practice in August than games in January.” Just more wisdom from Mr. Madden.

And just to throw in some Baltimore love from the gays in purple … I mean the ‘Men’ in purple Terrell Suggs has started the trash talk early by sporting a t-shirt at practice that says "You Bet Your Sweet Ass I Hate The Steelers." He also called the rivalry the "biggest in sports right now." The ‘Hitman’ Ryan Clark may have ended the running early for greatest quote of the season when he responded with "They can wear their shirts. I guess while they wear their shirts, I'll wear my ring, and we'll see which ones look nicer." Well played good sir, well played. To all those suckers in Baltimore still rooting for the Ravens we’ll see you at the end of November and we’ll see you at the end of December … and if you want to lose again we’ll see you at the end of January.
In Pirate news the team is finding more ways to suck as they got 1-hit for the second time this season courtesy of Yusmeiro Petit and the Arizona Diamondbacks. But don’t let anyone say that the Pirate fans suck or are uneducated about baseball. The crowd gave Petit a standing Ovation after his no-hit bid was broken up in the eighth in recognition of his great pitching performance.

Beer Pong

2009-07-31T17:33:00.012-04:00

Some lovin today for the greatest college drinking game of all. If you don't agree with me it's because you have a fucking vagina and you think flip cup is the shit. It isn't ... and you're retarded. But today I wanted to spell out the better rules of Beer Pong that I've heard and wanted to see if I could get other rules to post. What are your favorite random rules?

1. The End Game

My buddy Chad once ruined his table and decided to take off his basement door and use that. Genius! Keep the game alive! One problem though. It was a sort of fucked up basement door and the door knob was more towards the center of it than on the side where it normally is. So in light of his recent spontanaity Chad made up a rule that if you hit the ping pong ball off of the door knob and landed it into your opponents cup it would end the game! It usually wastes a shot but if you're down 5 cups to 2 it may be worth it.

Runhigh and myself have incorporated Chad's awesomeness into normal games by placing a shot glass upside down in the middle of some of our games. Same rule. Instant End game.

2. Return Defense.

Sometimes it just isn't your night and you need to bounce the ball and get an instant two cups to get back in the game. Sometimes it just isn't your night when your opponent keeps getting bounces in on your side. Well we made it so that bounces are dangerous for the whole table. If a ball bounces on the table and goes into any cup then it's two cups away from that side. So if I bounced a ball and it missed my opponents cups and bounced back to my side and in one of my cups then I have to remove two. This ensures that I play defense on my side after a risky throw.

3. Killer Cup

I use to have a short table. We established lines that you would have to stand at to throw to compensate for the table being small. Still ... with a bunch of skilled beer pongers the games went by super fast. So my buddy Wes came up with the idea that we would replace the back middle cup with a tall, smaller glass cup to make it very difficult to get in. So difficult that you would have to make an almost perfect toss to land it. Thus the games were harder. Thus the killer cup.

4. The Gentleman's Rule

This may by far be my favorite rule. Do you ever have those people play that will pull away a beer cup and set it on the side of the table. Then they end up beating you because you're fucked up a little and they are still perfectly sober? Or worse! They don't even drink it at all and it sits there after the game. Or you have to wait for them to finish the beer at the end before you can start the next game ... Arrgghhh!!! I hate those guys (or girls). So to fix that I created the Gentleman's Rule. If an opponent lands a ball in your cup then you HAVE TO drink that cup before you make your next throw. If you throw before drinking that cup then your throw does not count. And none of your future throws will count until that cup is drank. Respect the game. Follow the Gentleman's Rule.

This is not a Side Cup but a C-Cup ... we thought you'd get the idea

5. Side Cup

An official Irish Road-Runhigh household Beer Pong rule is the Side Cup Rule. Before the start of the game every player must have a side cup. It may not be a bottle or a can ... it has to be a glass or cup. If a player from the other team so chooses he may shoot for your cup. If he makes it in you must drink the entire contents of your cup and return the ball to him (or her ... but really ... what girl would waste a shot for that?). What we've noticed is that it kind of keeps both teams drinking a little even if there cups aren't getting knocked out. That way if someone would shoot for their cup and make it they don't have a full one to drink. BUT the person is allowed to defend their cup. Even in the air. So it's a risky shot and you usually have to make sure that your opponent isn't paying attention before you shoot it. And if you miss you wasted your turn.

6. Boobs

I once played against a girl who was chesty ... for those of you who don't understand that it means she had exceptionally large and very nice tits. She, like most girls, tried to use that to her advantage and distract me. I told her that if I made the shot in her cleavage she had to show them to me later. She said yeah right she would block it before that happened. I made it twice that night. My buddies loved me for it. Boobs rule rules!

7. Shutout

This one depends on the House Rules. But everyone needs a shutout rule. If you shutout your opponent how do they humiliate themselves? Pink tiny shirt? Pink tutu? Run around the house naked? Make out with their partner (please ... girl partners only)? Whatever you decide make sure it's humiliating and for your enjoyment.

Goodbye and Good Riddance

2009-07-30T01:37:00.010-04:00

Oh man ... It's that time of the year again. It's the Pittsburgh Pirates Fire sale: All decent players must go! Next item up for bid - A beautiful combination package of Doumit and Zack Duke! Get yours today!

Being a Pirates fan is like being the parent of a bad Little League baseball player. You know nothing is ever going to come out of it. You know you're suppose to cheer them on even though they suck so you clap wildly for routine singles and tell them "It's okay because at least you tried your hardest." When really you wish for once you had the kid who batted .667 and fielded like Ozzie Smith because at least that kid gave you excitement and hope for a championship. But not your child .... Not the Pirates. They are the bad Little League baseball player ... and we are their unfortunate parent.

Today the team got rid of the longest tenured 9 year veteran Jack Wilson. In exchange the Nuttings got rich and MLB promised not to out them for caring more about turning a small profit instead of putting together a winning franchise. All in all a win for the Pirates (ownership ... who gives a shit about the fans?). Actually I do find this a decent trade. We got rid of Ian Snell who was never motivated to play for this team (I can't say I blame him) got a comparable shortstop (not defensively) a potential power hitting first baseman (who needs much work) and three decent young pitching prospects. Let's face it we were never going to pay Wilson and Snell was just going to act like a little bitch every time he pitched here. As in earlier posts I say good riddance.

The other trade of the day saw a player we should have paid to keep, Freddy Sanchez, go to the San Francisco Giants for pitching prospect Tim Alderson. Freddy won the 2006 batting title and was coming into his own defensively at 2nd base. I was hoping the Bucs would drop a little dough and keep him but apparently the Nuttings put on their GM hat and told Huntington to get rid of him. Huntington did well to at least aquire the number 4 prospect in the Giants farm system but it feels empty to acquire a single prospect for a proven player.

Besides ... with the loss we'll be hard pressed to find new and exciting ways to mock our middle infielders. Mr. Cindy Crawford and Steve-O's twin just made things too easy. Good luck to both but I can't say I'm too disappointed.

WTF Pirates?

2009-07-28T01:27:00.005-04:00

With every loss the Pirates find a new and exciting way to reinvent the word 'Suck'. This latest was no exception. With a decent outing from Paul Maholm they ruined it with unbelievably bad defense in the third inning. It started off in the third when with a runner on first base Jack Wilson (who did have a spectacular play the inning prior) muffed a double play ball. The next batter with runners on first and third hit one sharply down the line to Andy LaRoche. Andy, seeing the runner on third break for home threw the ball to the catcher, instead of the smart play (the double play) or chasing down the base runner and catching him in a rundown. Everyone was safe ... bases loaded. It was then redemption time as LaRoche got a double play giving us fans more false hope that we may make it through a mess without any damage. Wrong! Pirate Baseball is imminent at that point! Paul Maholm throws a wild pitch to allow the runners to advance to second and third. Then a ball hit sharply into right field had Garret Jones pull up last second, letting the ball fall safely in, on a ball he just had to stick his glove out on to catch. Two score and McCutchen is unable to throw out the batter at third. Then one of the most amazing plays I've seen happened (it was number one on Sports Center top plays). The next batter lined a pitch into right field. Jones made a running attempt, missed, the ball went off his glove, off his leg and kicked back towards second base in the air where a diving Delwyn Young dove and caught the ball barehanded. Unbelievable! So unbelievable that the second base umpire ruled it hit the ground. Thus the runner on third scores. Luckily for the Buccos Young was paying attention and still managed to catch the batter off base for the third out. So all in all there were 5 Pirate miscues by 4 players leading to 3 runs. Somehow they were only charged with one error. WTF? Do they just feel bad for us now? Lets play scorekeeper. The Wilson flub. Error number 1. The LaRoche miscue. He didn't misplay the ball he just made a stupid and piss poor decision failing to get a guaranteed out and a possible double play. All runners were safe. We'll call that error number 2. The Maholm wild pitch. He got charged with that but for the sake of this argument we'll call it error number 3. The Garrett Jones spectator play (where he watches the ball drop in front of him). Two Runs Score ... Error number 4. The Garret Jones kick to Delwyn Young where the third runner scores ... this is a debate. If this IS NOT an out as according to the umpire then YOU HAVE TO give Jones an error for dropping a ball that basically hit him in the chest. It was an out that was screwed up by the umpire so I guess we (like the scorekeeper) can give Jones a pass. But the bottom line is if he catches it there is no run scored and there is nothing to debate. He messed up. He dropped it. He deserves an error for that one too. Error number 5. Five Errors (okay 4 and one wild pitch) in one inning. Yep ... that's Bucco baseball.

One last thought: Steve Pierce starting at first? Brandon Moss starting in the outfield? Seriously? Does anybody still think John Russell makes up his own starting lineup or have you figured it out that the front office is telling him who to play and where each game? What manager would actually put those guys in the same starting lineup consistently? Certainly not one who wanted to win so he could keep his job which is the position every Pirate manager is in.

Oh .... yeah .... Hey Pirates! .... WTF?!?!?

Intriguing Storylines of Baseball's 2nd Half

2009-07-26T23:04:00.021-04:00

First I’d like to apologize to all of you for such a long hiatus. But as you know life for a non-paid writer sometimes gets hectic in a declining economy. But hopefully I can get back on the writing track and bring you more enjoyable posts to read starting with baseball. After starting off the season towards their 17th and record breaking losing season I couldn’t imagine myself finding much interest in the Pirates this year. Some questionable moves by the management have actually brought more intrigue to me and have got me watching consistently again.

Garret Jones

To start there is a single question about this guy that I have heard everyone not related to him ask: “WHO THE HELL IS GARRET JONES?”
The second question being “Where the hell did he come from?”
Garret Jones is quietly on a tear batting .345 with 10 HR, 15 RBIs, .798 SLG, and 6 2Bs in 84 at bats. That’s a Herculean effort of 1 homerun every 8.4 at bats! To think that this will continue would be crazy (although anybody who still cheers for the beloved Buccos fits that description) but it would be nice to be on the winning side of power hitter. He has the potential to be the type of player that a team builds around. Couple him with McCutchen, Doumit, a possibly better Andy LaRoche, Milledge, and prospects like Pedro Alvarez and we may finally have seen the other side of that 5 year plan that we were promised 16 years ago. Well … as long as the pitching comes to fruition.

Andrew McCutchen

Rookie of the Year …. I don’t care who you are. If he doesn’t win this it’s because the Pirates have fallen that far off the baseball map that Sportswriters aren’t even looking here anymore. McCutchen is batting just under .300 this year with 9 SB over 42 games. He is the prototypical leadoff hitter with speed, average, and enough power to make him dangerous. He also has the potential to win the Gold Glove every year and is the kind of centerfielder you need in PNC Park with it’s deep left center fence.

Albert Pujols

He could be the first Triple Crown winner in 40 years. You may not see it for another 40 years. Think about that. You may be witnessing the only Triple Crown in your lifetime. And if he doesn’t win it he may be the only player in your lifetime to come this close. Nobody is catching him in homeruns. Only one person has a shot to catch him in RBIs and he has a decent shot to take batting average (he currently sits second behind Hanley Ramirez of the Marlins). He is the greatest hitter in this baseball era. Period. Watching him play first base defensively is a joy too. He always seems to be in the right place at the right time. We as Pirate fans are both blessed and cursed to have him in the same division as us. Blessed being that we can watch him play in person many times over the year. Cursed being the obvious: He destroys our pitching on a regular basis.

Stephen Strasburg

What is this guy thinking. He’s probably just letting Scott Boras handle that for him actually. Boras ’ strong suit is not his thinking it’s his negotiating. But right now he’s not trying to do that. He’s trying to strong arm the Nat’s the same way he did with the Pirates last year with Pedro Alvarez. You remember how well that didn’t work. Hopefully the Nat’s follow suit and stand firm against the Super Duper agent and his idiot client. Hey Strasburg …. Little advice for you. If the Nats don’t sign you because of your agent and your refusal, what happens? That’s right. You go back into the draft next year. And then guess what? The Washington Nationals are so awful this year that it is damn near impossible for any team to do worse than them unless they intentionally lose. So if the Nats end up with the worst record they also get the first pick in the draft next year. Who do you think they’ll pick number one? My guess is the pitcher everyone called a ‘Can’t Miss Prospect’ named …. That’s right ... the one named Stephen Strasburg.

Red Sox – Yankees

Both of these teams are playing well enough to where they should both get into the playoffs and I love watching them square off on primetime TV. Not because I’m a fan of either one of them but for a few other reasons. One it’s good baseball. Strip away the names on the front of the uniforms and you have a bunch of future hall of famers battling it out against each other. Two there are former Buccos on each side. It’s nice to see what your boys do when they grow up and play in the Major League. Three they’ll battle it out so furiously that it will give the Rangers or the Rays a chance to sneak up and snatch a Wild Card spot from one of them thus giving me one of those little pleasures in life knowing that an American League Baseball team from New York or Boston is sitting at home, drinking a beer, and watching playoff baseball just like me!

Saying Goodbye

After Nine years we will finally be saying goodbye to the beloved Jack Wilson. #2 was Number one in many Pirate fans hearts with his constant effort and spectacular highlight reel defensive play. Many people will be sad to see Jack Wilson, the staple of the Pittsburgh Pirates, leave. He was the one thing you could count on every season for the last decade. His Accomplishments include: 9 Losing Seasons, 0 Gold Gloves, 0 titles in any batting category. He won the Silver Slugger in 2004 and was the Pirates All-Star representative … but he only batted .308 (his only season over .300 batting average). His career BA is .269. So basically we have been so awful that we are finding it hard to say goodbye to a below average, mediocre shortstop whose only real value was his defense? I’d rather say ‘Love you Jack but Good Riddance!’

Starting the New

Enjoy it! We now start a new Century of Title-less Cubs! This makes 101! (I hope I didn’t just jinx it).

Admitting We Might Be Wrong

For the first time in 17 seasons we may have to say we’re wrong for questioning the front office. All the recent trades and signings and we actually do have a bright future with current players like McCutchen, Jones, Doumit, (the younger) LaRoche, Duke, Maholm, and players in the waiting like Milledge and Alvarez. However small there is a ray of light. Let’s just hope it’s the end of the tunnel and not an on coming train.

Who the hell are these guys?

Record Breaking season

The Pirates are on their way to breaking the professional sports record for most consecutive losing seasons by a franchise. If they continue they will achieve the 17th straight loser and go down in Sports infamy. But they can avoid that. At this point if they win one more game than they lose every week for the rest of the season they will end up a winner. They have 68 games left and they need to finish 38-26 to break even. The likelihood of that happening is slim but you never know. This could be the year .... of course it's probably more likely that Marian Hossa will win a cup.

Opening Day 2009

2009-04-13T13:59:00.006-04:00

Opening Day 2009 in PNC Park kind of had a completely different feel this year. With the Pirates already 3-3 against two teams picked to do well this season, they give you a sense of an organization that has vastly improved overall. The players thus far have been swinging the bat better. The pitching has given us good quality starts with an improved bullpen. The players are young and talented with a great ignorance for the expectations that we are suppose to lose and obtain a professional sports record 17th losing season. This year definitely has a different feel.

We're just not use to the Pirates management seemingly doing the right thing. And I know it's early but it's given me a feeling so far that they are doing the right things. It continued Opening Day when they honored Pirate hero and fan favorite Steve Blass. During the same pre-game festivities Nate McLouth was awarded the Center Field Gold Glove Award. The ceremonies culminated with the honoring of the Pittsburgh Police Officers killed in the line of duty with a chilling playing of Amazing Grace by Pittsburgh's Finest on bagpipes during which both teams sported PPD ball caps. All an all it was a brilliant gesture towards the departed.

The game started off with the Pirates, still dawning the Police ball caps, scoring early in the first off a Ryan Doumit single that scored Freddy Sanchez who was on base because of a double. Zack Duke showed flashes of brilliance early and often as he put away the Astros one after another thanks to help from a much improved defense behind him. In the third inning the Bucs really got it going when Freddy hit his second double of the game to start the inning. He scored when the next batter McLouth singled. Adam LaRoche homered two batters later to run the score to 4-0. Moss took the next at bat and singled to right off the Clemente wall. The next to Pirate batters walked to load up the bases. Duke hit a grounder to short stop who could only throw home to get the force out. Then Nyjer Morgan singled to score Vazquez and Wilson scored. The Pirates left the inning 6-0 and the rest of the game was the Zack Duke show. He shut down the Astros with dominant pitching allowing only four hits the whole game. Ryan Doumit homered in the bottom of the 8th to run the score to 7-0 and then Duke finished off the gem by finishing the 9th to earn a complete game shutout. The Pirates final score 7-0. Raise the Jolly Roger! The Bucs are now 4-3 and look as good as they ever have in the last 17 seasons.

To make a bold, still excited about baseball, April prediction I'm going to say the Pirates go 84-78 this season and finish third in the division. Either way they've had a great start with quality hitting and pitching. Go Bucs!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-03-17T17:05:00.005-04:00

We've officially reached that time of the sports year where every sport has a story and something exciting is going on in each one. There's no shortage of highlights and happenings anytime you flip on sports news or open up a sports web page. It's beautiful!

College basketball has just finished it's conference tournaments and the NCAA Final Four now sits on the horizon. Everyone is scrambling to enter brackets. Offices are prepping for shortages in work production and employees are loading game and score trackers into their website favorites section while 5 to 15 bracket printouts sit strewn across their desk. I know I'll be in at least 3 $10 brackets this year and another 2 online challenges. And of course I've got my beloved Panthers going all the way. Hey why not? This is the year that they break the Sweet Sixteen curse (knock on wood).

I usually find it hard to get excited about professional basketball but this year has been an exception. I've always been a Spurs fan since The Admiral David Robinson played and kept up my fanhood when one of my favorite college players ever, Tim Duncan, was drafted by them. But with the closest proximity team being the Cavaliers I've always held a soft spot for them too. It was hard to find excitement in the team when they landed Lebron a few years ago. Now with the MVP race heating up and the playoffs looming the NBA is getting exciting. This year the MVP trophy is down to a three horse race with Lebron, Kobe, and Dwayne Wade battling it out. For what it's worth I love watching all three. I'd give Kobe the ball over any player in the history of the league (minus Jordan) when needing a last second shot. Lebron is arguably the best all-around and most complete player of the three. And then there is Wade. Wade is single handedly making the Heat a contender come playoff time. His energy feeds to his teammates and makes them better. While Kobe and Lebron make their team title contenders the teams are more than capable of making it a round or two deep without them. Without Wade the Heat aren't even in the playoffs. His overall stats are equal if not better than the other two so he gets my nod as MVP.

So the Steelers won Super Bowl XLIII in grand fashion, the Pro-Bowl has been played and the football season is over ... right? Wrong. Not much more than a week after the Pro-Bowl that Ulti-Douche Mel Kiper showed up like a bad rash and withing the first month of his ranting he already had 7 different draft day scenarios that he revealed to us on Sports Center. And why does Mel Kiper do that? So when draft day finally arrives he can go back to which ever scenario is most relevant to the latest pick and tell us to marvel at his genius because he was correct. That's the real world equivalent of me taking a fat ass to McDonald's and telling to choose one of the 8 combo meals. Then I get to guess 6 out of the 8 that I think the fatty will pick and pat myself on the back when one of them turns out to be correct.

Aside from Kiper the draft process is cool. Especially if you have the NFL network and can tune in to the combine. I especially love watching the big guys rep out the bench press. Every Draft Day me and Runhigh add an element of excitement with our very own Draft Day Drinking Rules which we'll be bringing you soon. Look for it!

As baseball kicks off this spring not only are we brought some Pirates victory in Spring Training against World Series champs this year we also get to feast on early competitive baseball with the World Baseball Classic. I saw Ian Snell pitch a hell of a game the other night against Venezuela. Maybe this will help him actually throw some quality games this year BEFORE September. It can't hurt. It's just extremely sad for us year after year to be saying 'This will be the year' when we're referring to a .500 record instead of winning the World Series.

My absolute favorite part of it all is the NHL playoff run and actual playoffs. You don't see any better hockey than this time of the year. It's fabulous play. The checking is harder. The skating is faster and better and the play makers are putting up highlight reel goals and assists. Thanks to a few key pickups by Ray Shero and new Coach Dan Blysma the Pens are back better than ever and ready to make a serious run at the Cup. They currently sit in 5th place in the Eastern Conference with Malkin and Crosby 1st and second respectively in the points race. With just 10 games to go things look pretty good. But as we know, in the NHL, nothing is guaranteed.

St. Patricks Day 2009

2009-03-16T22:58:00.011-04:00

The Sunday after St. Patrick's Day I woke up and looked around. Fuck! I wasn't suppose to have fallen asleep! I looked over at my clock. It reads 10:00. FUCK! I'm so fucking late. I was suppose to stay awake and pack. My flight leaves at 11:30 and I live 40 minutes away and still need to fill my suitcases. There is nooooo fucking way I make this flight today. My only positive comes from the fact that I woke up in a pile of cash earned the night before like I'm straight out of Indecent Proposal.

It was the reason I had yet to pack. It was the reason I was out late and planning on NOT sleeping so I could make my flight. Now it was the reason I was completely FUCKED in making my flight. It was St Patrick's Day in Pittsburgh.

Yours truly works in the Bar Louie / Red Star Tavern down in Station Square as a bar-back. I was behind Red Star's bar running my ass off to take care of the exemplary drinking habits of my fellow Pittsburghers. If you were down there I was the guy with the Ireland head band wrapped around my forehead Karate Kid Style. The morning started off ... well actually let's back up to the day before.

I work 3 jobs. The first is a cushy government job. I work 8-5 Monday through Friday. I have a nice salary and I make good benefits. The second is my obligation to the Army Reserve. I train hard once a month and every now and then I go kill terrorists. Women and children too if you believe the tree huggers. And third, of course, I moonlight on the weekends bar backing at Bar Louie and Red Star in Station Square. I believe this is the part where I fit in my apologies for not writing as much lately. I hope you understand why now.

Anyways, Friday I wake up, went to work at the government job, went home, changed, and went down to Bar Louie to work again. For God knows what reason the bar was kind of busy the night before the St. Patty's Day festivities. Aren't you fuckers drinking tomorrow? Why the fuck are you partying so crazy the night before? I can't really complain. One, I'm cashing in, and two, I do the same thing every year (with the exception of this one). Again, exemplary drinking by my fellow Pittsburghers. After the bar closes we start our prep for the next day. There's a ton to do and a lot of it involves heavy lifting. We finally get out of there by 4 A.M. At 6:30 A.M. I'm waking up again and heading back down to the bar by 7 for our Kegs and Eggs party which kicked off at 8. Trust me when I say that most people are PLAAAA-ASSSTTT-EERRRREEDD by 10. One of those people is my colleague. This is great firepower to have in the office. I only wish I had a camera.

It's 10 and Red Star Tavern side opens up to the general drinking public. I start to roll on overdrive to cover my bartenders' needs. We had 5 bartenders working Red Star. I've never seen that many! They were freakin' awesome too. They had Pittsburgh drinking 0-60 beers in 5.7 seconds. I just had to make sure the beer and liquor kept flowing. And man did I tap a lot of kegs and stock a shit ton of cases. We probably crushed 100 cases of Miller Lite alone on Red Star. Which kind of annoys me ... Who are all of these fags who can't man up and throw down some Murphy's Stout of even better, Guinness Draught. Man up and drink a car bomb ... pussies. Speaking of which, St. Patrick's Day reminds me just how much good looking chicks there are in the city.

Do these chicks hide during the winter? There were tits and green knee socks everywhere! Needless to say Irish Road was thinking of some ... that's a different post. If you are a hot Irish chick and you want to get a little Irish action I can be contacted ... keep that in mind ladies!

Oh yeah .... back to the Miller Lite ... Do you know why they dye beer green? No ... not because it's St. Patty's Day, dipshit! It's so you're distracted from the nasty taste! Think about it. You can't dye Guinness green ... or even a Yuengling for that matter. What can you dye green? Shitty light beer.

Anyways, people were wasted, more beer was drank than I thought possible, and everyone was reminded why the Irish kick ass!

To everyone that I owned with the service doors I'm sorry. To everyone I plowed over with a dolly full of beer cases I'm sorry. And to everyone I ignored or told I couldn't pour you a drink I'm sorry but "I'm not a bartender." I realize that you may have saw me pour and hand that guy/girl some Guinness but obviously I know him. Or she is sleeping with me.

So the day rolls on fast. The money flowed in and finally the bar closed down. I clocked out a 3 A.M. ... a 19 hour shift. I started thinking 'I leave at 8:45 .... I get to the airport at 9:30 for my 11:3o flight. I'll just go home and pack and stay up. I can just sleep on the plane.' So I get home and was up. I'm beat so I just sit down for a second ........

Next thing I know I'm opening my eyes and looking at the time. It's 10 o'clock. SHIT!!!

Oh yeah .... by the way ... I made the flight with 20 minutes to spare. Thank you for luck of the Irish and Grace of God on averaging 95 mph, all green lights, and NO COPS. Sweet!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Bromance, A Salute to Manly Men: Bruce Lee

2009-02-16T18:48:00.009-05:00

One of the toughest men in the History of the World, Bruce Lee, lived a short but very impactful life. He probably single handedly kick started a love of martial arts in America. He stood 5'7 and weighed approximately 130 lbs. He was probably the fastest man alive in a fight and had the power of 7 men. It was said that he could snatch a dime off a person's open palm before they could close it, and leave a penny behind. He could knock a man over even when holding his arm extended 1 inch from their body with no other movement but thrusting his arm forward.

The fighting styles and philosophies of Bruce Lee are well documented. He believed too little time was given to training and too much time given to skill development. He was fanatical about conditioning and strived to create new ways to make himself better at it.

The mystique of Bruce Lee followed him even until his death when he unexplainably died after finishing the movie Enter the Dragon. Suffering from full-body seizures and cerebral edema, he was immediately rushed to Hong Kong Baptist Hospital where doctors were able to reduce the swelling through the administration of mannitol and revive him. He was in top physical condition and was an avid nutritionist.

"Be formless... shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle; it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot; it becomes the teapot. Water can flow, and it can crash. Be water, my friend..."

Irish Road Head: Daveigh Chase

2009-02-16T14:27:00.016-05:00

I know I hear about 95% of you saying 'Who?' Daveigh Chase .... voice of Lilo from Lilo and Stitch .... yeah I didn't watch that either. She played Donnie Darko's sister in Donnie Darko. Still nothing? How about this .... she was the scary chick in The Ring ....

Well now she's an 18 year old hottie who is looking a little better than her Ring days. Her most recent work is the role of Rhonda Volmer in the HBO drama series Big Love. Her future involves revisiting her role as Donnie Darko's sister in the sequel 'S. Darko'

Daveigh is currently rumored to be dating Hilton heir Barron Hilton II little-brother of Paris Hilton.

Man Challenge: Double Down

2009-02-06T10:17:00.008-05:00

One of the drinking accomplishments posted elsewhere is the 24 beers in 24 hours. While this is challenging and difficult, it is also very time consuming, plus it has no element of competition with your friends.

Rules of the Game:

The rules are simple. You must drink 2 beers every hour. No catching up if you fall behind. Vomiting is not allowed, is instant disqualification and reduces you to the status of beer bitch for the remaining players. Contest goes on as long as in necessary.

Also, contestants are not allowed to bank beers by drinking ahead! You owe 2 per hour every hour!

Man up Factor: Drink 3 beers every hour instead of 2.

Wimp out Factor: Drinking any kind of Light Beer. Because if you want to just drink water, Plastic Bottles don't break when you drop them.

Materials Needed:

- A few friends (don't have any? feel free to ask us)

- 1 Case of beer per person

- a lot of of free time

- markers to draw on the lightweight who passes out first

- the number for Dominoes, you're probably going to get hungry.

Man Challenge: The Trilogy of Death

2009-02-05T20:16:00.005-05:00

The Trilogy of Death

The back story of the Trilogy of Death is this. Some chick opened her mouth and I made her pay dearly.

Well .... okay there's more to it than that. I was hosting a New Year's Eve party with a buddy who bar tends. During the party some of the girls decided it would be a great idea for them to do beer bongs in front of everyone. Classy. Anyways halfway through the train ... this chick next to me says out loud "I'd rather take three shots in a row than bong a beer." Of course I called her on it. She was one of those yuppy 'I'm proud and I'm better than you' type of chicks so I knew she wouldn't back down. She accepted the challenge and we went over to the bar. I said to her "you know he gets to pick our shots?", referring to my roommate. He lined up six shot glasses. Three in front of each of us (for the Browns fans who can't count at home). The rule was that we had to take the shots back to back to back with very little to zero hesitation between. And it was:

Shot One: Nikolai Vodka (Smirnoff is acceptable)

Anything better loses the nasty taste that helps create the effect of the Trilogy of Death

Shot Two: Jose Cuervo (or alternate brown Tequila)

Shot Three: Jack Daniels (or other harsh Whiskey's like Wild Turkey)

Man up Factor: Substitute the last shot with a shot of Bacardi 151, Moonshine, or Everclear

Of course the prideful retard puked 5 minutes after the last shot. Still rather take three shots over a beer bong? Thought not bitch! That's some death coming at you! Now go make love to that porcelain goddess!

NFL PICKS: Super Bowl XLIII

2009-01-31T22:21:00.023-05:00

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 1, 2009

Pittsburgh Steelers (-5) vs. Arizona Cardinals in Tampa, FL

The story lines don't matter. The players do. Larry Fitzgerald is not 11 players on the field at all time. He's one. Troy Polamalu sometimes is like two. Ben isn't going to play weak this Super Bowl. The defense is going to play stronger. Kurt Warner is a great guy. But he's going to do a lot of lying on his back this game. Willie Parker may make a pass at his longest Super Bowl rush record. Hines Ward will be a factor. James Harrison will end the game with the MVP.

I know picking against my sleeper hasn't been good this post-season. But one thing has been constant in the playoffs. The Pittsburgh Steelers. And there is one constant in the world. One constant that is true no matter where and no matter when and that is that the world is Steeler Country. Baltimore was no different this year. Tampa will be rampant with Terrible Towels.

I mean come on .... Arizona is Steeler Country .....

Beijing is Steeler Country ....

Egypt and the Great Pyramids are Steeler Country ....

The Great Wall of China is Steeler Country ...

Air Bases in Iraq are Steeler Country ....

London England is Steeler Country ...

Mount St. Helens is Steeler Country ....

Punxatawney is Steeler Country and Phil is a Steeler Fan ....

Sydney, Australia is Steeler Country ....

The Marine Corp is Steeler Country ....

The White House is Steeler Country and the President is a Steeler fan .....

The Vatican is Steeler Country and the Pope has blessed the Terrible Towel ....

No matter where in the world you are you remain in Steeler Country. And like I said today in Tampa it will be no different. The Steelers win today. Steelers 27-7.

Steelers -5

Besides, Jesus loves the Steelers. The below picture is courtesy of our very own Irish Road from his days in Baghdad, Iraq.

Baghdad is Steeler Country!

Football Drinking Rules: Super Bowl Update!

2009-01-31T20:27:00.008-05:00

With Super Bowl XLIII Right around the corner we realized that we should probably revamp the Football drinking rules to be a little more relevant to the Big Game. We kept most of the
rules the same since they will still be relevant but had a few changes.

Change 1: The Manning Rule is now the Family Rule

Whenever NBC shows Larry Fitzgerald's Dad or Brenda Warner take a 5 second drink.

Change 2: The Eddie Guns rule is now 'The Boss' Rule

Whenever the announcers mention Bruce Springsteen or The Boss you have to drink for 5 seconds.

Change 3: The King Social is now The Car Commercial Social
Whenever they show a car commercial drink for 5 seconds.

Bonus Super Bowl Rule: Skyline Rule

Every time NBC shows a shot of the City of Tampa, or as we like to refer to it this week, Steeler Country-South, take a 5 second drink.

Here We Go Steelers! And Enjoy!

Groundhog's Day Drinking Rules

2009-01-31T16:28:00.008-05:00

As everyone knows, Sunday is the Super Bowl. What may be getting overlooked is the day after the Super Bowl. No not National Pretend to be Sick and Call Off Work Day! It’s Groundhog’s Day! Naturally, drinking must accompany an occasion of this caliber. But since we will be piss drunk and hungover from the Super Bowl at 6 in the morning, we will drink to the movie Groundhog’s Day. You know the one with Bill Murray and a chick that is in desperate need of frizz control or something on her hair. They probably should of just gone with a hotter chick but can you imagine Bill Murray hitting anything hotter than this?

Ok I know you didn’t come here for my analysis of the movie. So without further ado, here are the rules.

1. Take a 3 second drink each time the day changes.

Note: Any event which implies a change of day, such as Phil Conners dying or getting slapped repeatedly counts as a day change.

2. Drink for 3 seconds when the word “Groundhog” is mentioned.

3. Finally, take a shot whenever the Groundhog is shown on screen. The shot must be rum or stronger, lest you get tagged as the bitch of the group.

The Omen

2009-01-29T18:32:00.003-05:00

All signs point to yes this Super Bowl Sunday. Are we as Steeler Country overconfident? As I pointed out yesterday in lambasting Bob Smizik we are THE smartest fans in football. We have deep faith and belief in our Pittsburgh Steelers as we always do. But this year it's backed by one of the greatest defenses in football history, an offense that always finds a way and a fantastic coaching core. So our confidence is grounded in our great football educated ways.

One thing that has been established this season is that under no circumstances as an opponent of the Steelers should you EVER disrespect the Terrible Towel. It's just come back to haunt that team every time. So of course Mayor Gordon of Phoenix, AZ just had to go and use it as a Kleenex before stomping on it a little. Good move chump! Let's call it stupidity. Let's call misguided enthusiasm for your team. Let's call it the Curse of Myron Cope!

You think the legendary broadcaster and one of the most beloved man in Steeler history is going to let you do that without getting you back? Good luck dodging that wave of the Towel!

Speaking of Cope everybody has been trying to figure out the rallying point of the Steelers this Super Bowl. In 2005 we had Bettis in his final season and playing in his hometown. In 2006 we saw the Colts try to win one for Dungy and Peyton Manning. 2007 the Giants used an injured military vet as locker room motivation and won for him and linebacker Michael Strahan. This season the answer seems so obvious: Do it for Cope! When Myron Cope, our favorite football broadcaster, passed it was one of the saddest days in Steeler Country. But we have been playing with an unprecedented fire this year and part of me believes that God's newest broadcaster is having a watchful eye from above for this. So let's win it for Myron Cope and pray that we see this image on Sunday night:

But as I said before, all signs point to yes! Thirty years ago a dominant defense played it's division rival for a third time that season in the AFC title game. That team was the 12-4 Pittsburgh Steelers. Their opponent was the 11-5 Houston Oilers. They prevailed in a 27-13 victory to advance to the Super Bowl against an upstart 9-7 NFC team.

This year the Pittsburgh Steelers with a 12-4 record faced off against their division rivals, the Baltimore Ravens, for a third time also. The Ravens like the Oilers were 11-5 during the regular season. The Steelers prevailed 23-14 and will face an upstart Arizona Cardinals who also bring a 9-7 record. These my friends are Good Omens.

The 1979 Steelers prevailed in the Super Bowl to claim their, then NFL record, 4th Super Bowl title. History often repeats itself. And for the Steelers that means another ring, another Lombardi Trophy, and another notch above the rest of the National Football League.

My prediction? Like that Superbowl long ago, another close 3 quarters with the greater defense and ultimately the greater team, the Steelers, pulling away in the 4th.

Steelers 30-17.

MVP: Troy Polamalu.

It's the F#@*-ing Snuggie, Bitch!

2009-01-29T00:34:00.005-05:00

I love making fun of infomercials as much as the next guy but some people are just more clever than others when they do it. Earlier today on Sports Illustrated's Hot Clicks I found this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y & which led to this video which dubs some guy's genius over the Snuggie infomercial.

Freakin' hilarious as hell!!! I don't know about you but I laughed my ass off for the whole two minutes! As a Bonus I'll include the Sham-wow parodies yours for just 3 easy payments of $19.99! Wow!!!

Jag-Off(s) of the Day: Bob Smizik, The Mayor of Phoenix, and Sports Illustrated's Jacob E. Osterhout

2009-01-28T22:29:00.011-05:00

Bob Smizik

Let's start with one of the originator's of the Jag-Off posts Mr. Bob Smizik. We hated on Mr. Smizik when we named him #8 on our Top Ten Pittsburgh Jag-Off list after he called us knuckleheads for booing that mercenary Marion Hossa. Then a week later Runhigh smashes the hell out of the 'Man with pubic hair on his head' after Smizik made a pre-season prediction that the Steelers D was over the hill and running on fumes. He then said that they'd only win 9 games and that would win the division. Good call idiot.

We thought that we saw the last of that moron when he retired (got pushed out) a few weeks ago. Unfortunately they still let him blog for the Post Gazette. This time he instantly calls out Pittsburgh fans as uneducated and says that the majority of us have already ruled the Cardinals out of the Super Bowl. He doesn't neglect to add his own superior opinion to the blog saying he is unlike all Pittsburghers and knows better. Well there Bobby we know of your vast genius and knowledge of football thanks to those early season predictions. Unfortunately you forgot that Pittsburghers are THE smartest fans in football. We know how hot teams can get and how they can make impressive runs come playoff time thanks to our very own '05 Steelers and last year's Super Bowl Champions, the Giants. We understand the realities of not underestimating a 9-7 team because we know our history and remember the 1980 Super Bowl team that had to make a late comeback to beat the 9-7 Rams. To think that we don't remember our own Steeler Super Bowl history is asinine. Seriously, we of all fans know that any team can claim victory on any given Sunday. Like I said, Pittsburghers are THE smartest fans in football. There is no debate. So trust us, we aren't under estimating the Cardinals. We're just confident that our team, our 'over the hill running on fumes' defense, can pull off the victory and bring home a record 6th Lombardi Trophy. Mr. Smizik you are officially a grade A Jag-Off.

Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon

I don't know if you got the memo chief or if you just hate your city that much but disrespecting the Terrible Towel curses your team. And when you let people capture it on film you are just another Jag-Off in a pool of retards. Stomp on the symbol of Steeler Country, the symbol of our pride, love for our team and a symbol who's profits go to charity and the curse is placed upon your football squad. I know you tried to apologize but you can't take back that which is done. You are now an unclassy Jag-Off! Enjoy second place.

Sorry Bro' but the Steelers are going to kick the living piss out of your Cardinals

Jacob E. Osterhout

Okay, Okay, Okay so this one may be a bit of a stretch but I just gotta throw this one out there: Jakey, You're about two months too late with your Storm the Court article. Yours truly not only hated on people who unnecessarily storm the field/court and took it a more impressive step further by creating rules. You .... didn't. Go take your Zack Morris outfit to your local gay bar and suck it! You've been declared an Irish Road Jag-Off!

43 Greatest Beer Commercials (Part 2)

2009-01-27T01:40:00.006-05:00

100th Post!!!

Finally! After all of the hard work on this we are pleased to bring you the top 20 of the 43 Greatest Beer Commercials. Once again for our Arizona readers we've placed the numbers in parentheses so that they may understand the corresponding Roman numeral. So to celebrate our 100th Post and Super Bowl 43 without further ado here's 20 thru 1.

XX (20) Red Stripe “Helping white people dance”

XIX (19) Bud Light Swear Jar

XVIII (18) Bud Light “70’s Night”

XVII (17) Miller Lite “Man Law – Tuck Rule”

XVI (16) Red Stripe “Take his pants”

XV (15) Bud Light “Dude”

XIV (14) Bud Light “I love you man”

XIII (13) Heineken – “Perfect Gentleman”

XII (12) Guinness “Brilliant”

XI (11) Bud Light “Pilot jumps”

X (10) Budweiser “Horse kicks field goal – use to go for two”

IX (9) Bud Light “But he has an ax”

VIII (8) Guinness “Domino”

VII (7) Carlton “Shed”

VI (6) Coors Light “Jim Mora – Playoffs”

V (5) Heineken - Me and You (Jen Aniston)

IV (4) Budweiser “Whazzup”

III (3) Budweiser “Frogs”

II (2) Miller Lite “That’s my sister”

I (1) Miller Lite “Catfight: Great taste vs. Less filling”

43 Greatest Beer Commercials

2009-01-26T20:27:00.007-05:00

In honor of the upcoming Superbowl we've decided to bring you 43 of the greatest beer commercials ever created. Much time and effort went into narrowing down quite a few commercials into the 43 that we've posted. Many friends and co-workers were consulted to bring this list so enjoy! It wasn't just funny commercials but clever and well thought out ones that also made it. Oh ... and for those of you reading from Arizona fear not ... we've put the numbers in parentheses so that you can figure out which Roman numeral stands for which one you're at. Here is 43-21!

XLIII (43) Bud Light “Who’s Todd Schizzler”

XLII (42) Green King IPA “Cheating Death”

XLI (41) Carlton Beer “It’s a Big Ad”

XL (40) Miller Lite “Kung Fu”

XXXIX (39) Miller Lite “I think we’ve got a fourth”

XXXVIII (38) Guiness “Rhythem of Life” (evolution)

XXXVII(37) Budweiser “Lizards”

XXXVI (36) Bud Light “Cut the Cheese”

XXXV (35) Bud Light “Magic Fridge”

XXXIV (34) Bud Light “Wardrobe Malfunction”

XXXIII (33) Keystone Light “Blue Tooth”

XXXII (32) Bud Light “Ability to talk to animals”

XXXI (31) Budweiser “Streaker”

XXX (30) Coors Light “Jim Mora Random Triangles

XXIX (29) Bud Light “What would Carlos Do”

XXVIII (28) Bud Light “Wasabi”

XXVII (27) Red Stripe “Beautiful man”

XXVI (26) Bud Light “Bad Dog”

XXV (25) Carling Beer “Just the two of us”

XXIV (24) Bud Light “Rock, Paper, Scissors”

XXIII (23) Pure Blonde Beer “From a place much more pure than yours”

XXII (22) Guinness “Share one with a friend”

XXI (21) Heineken “I love your sister”

Part 2 (1-20) http://onirishroad.blogspot.com/2009/01/43-greatest-beer-commercials-part-2.html

Jag-Off of the Day: Southerners and Snow

2009-01-21T10:46:00.004-05:00

This post is dedicated to all the Southerners who fear snow like:

Superman fears Kryptonite
Sarah Palin fears Katie Couric
Tony Kornheiser fears Airplanes
an 8 year old fears Things That Go Bump in the Night.

Text message summary from me and a friend from Jacksonville, NC:

Displaced Northerner in the South: Snow Day!
Runhigh: How much snow did you get?
Displaced Northerner in the South: Only an inch or so.
Runhigh: lol ... I've drove drunk in more snow than that.
Displaced Northerner in the South: I don't think drunk driving is funny.
Runhigh: No, but Southerners who panic over one inch of snow are.

She then went on to defend them because they don't salt the roads. What she forgets is that most rural Pennsylvania towns don't salt the roads and we both attended school in shithole rural towns and managed to avoid crashing our cars in actual blizzards.

FYI ... I checked CNN Weather ... it says Jacksonville, NC is 20 degrees and sunny. Sounds like a great excuse to cancel school. Children in Pennsylvania wouldn't have to go from December through March.

I don't even know where to start my commentary.

First ... for a part of the country that prides itself so much on driving and racing ... your complete unwillingness to do it in what people in Pittsburgh would consider a dusting is laughable.

Second ... I've been to the South ... most of you people have 4WD Trucks ... use them. My company car is a Chevy Cavalier with over 100,000 miles on it, yet I've managed to make several trips to Buffalo this winter for work without incident.

Third ... I'm not even sure you are all that afraid of the snow. It's probably just a lame excuse to stay home and drink Busch Ice while watching the Maury Show, The Price is Right and Judge Judy.

Fourth ... the South prides itself on its strong military heritage and tradition. I find this difficult to take seriously if I know you'll go running for the hills as soon as flurries come falling from the sky.

Here's to you, oh Southern Man cowering in his shanty terrified of a few snow flurries, you have become the newest Jag-Off of the Day!

AFC CHAMPS!!!!

2009-01-19T00:20:00.005-05:00

So I am writing this after midnight and after about 20 beers today and like 6 shots ... so take whatever I say within that context. Oh yeah ... and I have a beer in hand drinking this ... go ahead and call Alcoholics Anoyomous ... I don't care. They wrote me off as a lost cause a long time ago.

First of all ... great game by the Penguins today .... goals by Sykora, Kennedy and Minard, totally made my afternoon. Fleury stopping everything sent his way reminded me of a Mormon girl turning down sexual advances on prom night. Great job by the Pens to claw their way back into playoff contention. This could be a huge turning point for them.

So Nighthawk comes down around 3:10 today and told me he picked against his sleeper pick again. I told him he was stupid. I was later vindicated. He is stupid. I am smart. Well smarter than him. Which ain't saying too much but I'll take it. He had to go to work and missed most of both the games. I had a 4 day weekend. Who sounds smarter to you?

On to Larry Fitzgerald. The Steelers are going to have a hard time covering him. Yes the Steelers defense is great but they have no one who can match his leaping ability. The Steelers will have to get to Kurt Warner and hit him hard. If that happens Warner will either fumble or throw picks.

For the game today ... I went to Jackman's Bar in Avalon. It's a shithole bar off of Rt. 65. But more importantly ... they have 2 dollar yuengling drafts. YES. At first I was dissapointed upon hearing they had no specials ... then i realized 2 dollar Yuenglings are quite special themselves. First of all you may wonder what type of bar "Jackman's" is. I will tell you. It is populated by the drunken blue collar idiot. Otherwise known as the backbone of the Pittsburgh Steeler Fan Base. Would I trust anyone at that bar to do my taxes, handle my 401k or even make me a Big Mac? Probably not. But they sure are fun to drink with. My throat is still sore from yelling at the top of my lungs for 4 hours.

On to the game. First of all ... props to Tomlin for getting to the Super Bowl in his second season as head coach., far surpassing the career trajectories of Bill Cowher and Chuck Noll. What would seem more unlikely? A rookie QB getting to the Super Bowl or a black man being inaugurated as President? Well thanks to the Steelers, one is going to happen this week ... the other isn't.

Once again ... the Steelers defense rose to the occasion. Even before a defensive touchdown by Polamalu to seal the game the defense held Flaccid Flacco to only 13 completions and 3 interceptions. Also, Ryan Clark almost decapitated Willis McGahee. Chalk up another likely fine for a Steelers defender. I think these fines are becoming a badge of honor for Steelers defenders. Note to Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin: You are both awesome recievers, but let your guard down and you may be on a one way trip to the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. On the plus side: the food ain't half bad ... trust me .... I know. Oh, and what are the odds the Ravens have a bounty on Clark's head next time they play?

Hines Ward looked great in the first half before he was hurt. I can only presume he will be fine in two weeks. His replacement: Limas Sweed turned in a typical performance by dropping a couple of key passes. On the plus side he did deliver a block that resembled a Hines Ward on Bart Scott hit. If it turns up on youtube I may post it. But for now you are on your own. Plus you should of watched the game yourself.

Edit: here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiK5JQU8SW8

Chalk up another Steeler with a bounty on his head.

Parker averaged about 2 yards per carry tonite ... big surprise. Parker having trouble against the Ravens is like Superman struggling with Kryptonite. Wait until the Super Bowl when he is facing the Cardinals. It will look like the Harlem Globetrotters versus the Washington Generals. Note to the stupid people: Parker is not the Washington Generals in this matchup.

Is Jeff Reed possibly the most underrated kicker in the league? He is tough enough to go without long sleeves in freezing weather and make two long field goals. Even David Akers ... the supposed Patron Saint of postseason field goals missed one on Sunday. Oh and Matt Stover? Hated him on the Browns, hate him even more on the Ravens.

Did anyone else think of the Lavar Leap when Polamalu stopped Flaccid Flacco on 4th down? For those of you who don't know what the Lavar Leap is here is a refresher course:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4GoBoY7DdA&NR=1

Here is Polamalu doing it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4yvC_6Etf8

Oh yeah, and here he is retiring Troy Aikman, just because I fucking hate the Cowboys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BynBZNiE9EA&feature=related

The Steelers held Baltimore to 198 total yards of offense. In 18 games so far only Tennessee has gained over 300. Just saying.

Big Ben is now 7-2 in the post season. I guess we can put those Flaccid Flacco parades on hold for now. Seriously, its probably best we don't have fireworks in Baltimore anytime soon. Last time that happened all we got was a National Anthem which no one can sing properly. Now don't get me wrong. I love my country and everything about it. But let's get a better national anthem. A converted poem does not suffice. My suggestion:

The theme song from Team America: World Police:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Swcjg4WmoXk&feature=PlayList&p=55994A743E920EE2&index=0&playnext=1

My early prediction for the Super Bowl:

Steelers 27 Cardinals 20

But remember this is being written at 1 am after I've drank some 20 beers and several shots. So don't forget ... the margin could be much wider.

NFL PICKS: Conference Finals

2009-01-18T14:32:00.006-05:00

It's been a busy week here for us On Irish Road. It seems like me and the boys are working non-stop and haven't had too much time to put up good posts for you the readers. Our New Years Resolution is to bring you the greatest of posts. Look forward for one from Irish Road soon to celebrate our 100th post. Me? I'm just going to make sure that the old reliable NFL picks are up. I'll promise to tell you less and less to bet the house on the Panthers. We all know how well that worked last week. We get to look forward to a Super Bowl that may possibly contain nothing but the Keystone State. Pittsburgh took the last Battle for PA last year when the Flyers were demolished by the Pens. Lets hope that Pittsburgh trend will continue if the two cities square off in the Super Bowl. On to the Picks!

SUNDAY JANUARY 18th

Philadelphia Eagles (-1) at Arizona Cardinals

First thing out of Runhigh's mouth last week after the Panthers-Cards game: "How could you pick against your sleeper?!?" I don't know dude .... the same way the entire nation (outside of Phoenix) picked against them. Seriously ... where did that effort come from? I hate to say this ... but they aren't winning this week. It's been a surprisingly impressive run for them but the Eagles are going to win this game. And if not .... Hey .... they're my sleeper!

Eagles -1

Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers (-2)

This is Steeler Country! This is most likely the real Super Bowl today. The two toughest teams are squaring off in Heinz Field in the cold and snow. It will be the top two defenses in the league. The toughest linebackers. The hardest hitting secondary. The most punishing wide receiver. The best tight ends. It will be a great game. And it will end with the Steelers on top in grand fashion. Steelers win 20-3.

Steelers -2

Sports Hero of the Day: Coach Ron Hunter

2009-01-18T12:50:00.005-05:00

Ron Hunter is the coach of Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis (IUPUI). He is also one of the biggest supporters of the Charity organization Samaritan Feet who raise money and donate shoes to people who can't afford them. Last year Ron Hunter got an idea to coach a game barefoot in an attempt to raise 40,000 shoes for the charity. So January 24, 2008 before tipoff against Oakland Ron Hunter had more than achieved his goal. He had raised 110,000 pairs of shoes for the organization. When all was said and done over 200,000 pairs of shoes had been sent for him to donate to people around the world.

The story doesn't end there though. Coach Hunter and his team traveled to Lima, Peru not just to hand out shoes but personally wash feet for the children, fit them for shoes and teach them about basketball.

This year the coach is at it again. He was on Mike and Mike radio ESPN last week in order to bring attention to the organization and raise more shoes. Unknowingly to Hunter the radio hosts brought on a representative from the Croc shoe company who informed the coach that they would be donating 50,000 pairs to him and Samaritan Feet! Unbelievable! Ron Hunter just had another barefooted endeavor on January 17th against Centenary and he reports that 300 coaches across the nation have promised to coach one game this week barefoot in response to his efforts.

NFL PICKS: Divisional Playoffs

2009-01-10T14:38:00.007-05:00

International Airspace is Steeler Country

I started the Playoffs off a dismal 2-2 but hey, My NFC Sleeper won!!! This week should provide nothing but great matchups across the board with the exception of one game. The Panthers against the Cards. Enough of that .... On to the Picks!

SATURDAY JANUARY 10th

Baltimore Ravens (-1) at Tennessee Titans

This game astounds me. Not the fact that it's two tough teams squaring off. Not the fact that the Ravens, the team with the lesser record, the team on the road, and the team with a rookie QB is favored to win. No the thing that astounds me is that this game is the early game when it's going to be a much better matchup than the later game. Is the NFL doing that well that they don't care about ratings? That all being said I really am trying to figure out what Vegas knows that they are placing the favorite tag on the Ravens. I just have a feeling that the Titan offense is going to figure out a way to beat the defense well today. And I bet the score is a little higher than the 13-10 one the Titans beat the Ravens by in week 5. Good matchup ... plenty of big moments. Titans win 21-17.

Titans +1

Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers (-5.5)

There is no way the Cardinals win this one. Bet the house. I repeat there is no way the Cardinals win this one. Now that I've got this out of the way let me tell you why they will win. Boldin is hurt and Larry Fitzgerald is going to line up in his place. The Panthers don't have anyone that can effectively cover him. This will lead to at least 3 TD's by Warner and Co. Outside of that though they have nothing. So I'll tell you why the Panthers are the lock to actually win. Steve Smith. Enough said. He will be the game changer. The Panthers offense will look like the '99 Rams Greatest Show on turf. I believe the Cards have never won on the East Coast. There's some crazy stat like that. This one is for Carolina, 38-24.

Panthers -5.5

SUNDAY JANUARY 11th

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants (-1.5)

I don't know what you can say about this one. The third meeting between these two teams this season. The Giants won the first meeting in a high scoring affair. The Eagles won the last one post-Plaxico in a lower scoring contest. The Giants have looked like an offense without a great weapon. I don't think they're capable of putting up much more than 20 against the Eagles who have been the hottest team in the NFC. I like this game to be extremely close. Eagles 24-21.

Eagles +1.5

San Diego Chargers at Pittsburgh Steelers (-2.5)

HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!

I've been waiting for this since the '94 AFC title match when the Steelers who were heavy favorites lost to the Chargers at home. Call this a redemption game. The Chargers are coming in to some fine Pittsburgh weather. Game Time temperature is expected to be a beautiful 25 degrees and feel like it's 15. Maybe even colder down on the field. Welcome to Steel Town! Sproles will be taken care of by the linebackers. Gates won't be a problem for the secondary and Ike Taylor will control Jackson while Harrison and Woodley make that douchebag Philip Rivers look up from his backside all game. We just need a little help from the offense (and receiving core will come through in this big game) and all will be well. The Steelers win 24-10.

Steelers -2.5

Irish Road Head: Jordana Brewster

2009-01-09T19:15:00.017-05:00

Why we love her: She's that sweet, laid back, girl next door who was always chill with you no matter how hot and popular she was.

While many have seen the lovely miss Jordana Brewster few people remember to include her in their hottest actresses list. We wouldn't miss a sexy little number like hers. Especially not with her new, soon to be a hit, movie coming out, The Fast and the Furious (4). She once again stars as Mia Toretto, sister of tough guy Dom Toretto played by Vin Diesel. Much of the original cast is reunited in this the fourth installment of the series. It looks to have plenty of action once again and expand on the feud left at the end of the first movie.

Along with this movie and the original fast and the furious, Jordana Brewster has also been in lead roles in other movies like Annapolis and Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning where she was just as stunningly beautiful. Whatever she gets cast in next you can be sure that we'll be here to post the photos.
Bonus: The Fast and the Furious (4) Trailer

Bromance, A Salute to Manly Men: Army Rangers

2009-01-07T16:26:00.008-05:00

For as long as I can remember Army Rangers have been my heroes. The Spearhead of Special Forces Operations as they are sometimes called have been around throughout the Army's history in some form or another. They are the few who dare to volunteer for things that others are afraid of. They are men who would risk everything to give a fellow soldier a chance at living.

The best of the best and they are portrayed in many of the Hollywood movies we love. It was the 2nd Rangers who stormed Omaha Beach in the movie Saving Private Ryan. In the Great Raid we watched the 6th Rangers liberate U.S. POW's in the Philippines. And in the movie Black Hawk Down we see the 75th Rangers attempting a dangerous mission and the amazing and relentless courage they display when all hell breaks loose in Mogadishu after two Black Hawk helicopters are shot down.

These are not mere Hollywood dramatizations. These are based on actual events but will always fail to capture the toughness, the heroism, and the amazing patriotism of the men who proudly call themselves Army Rangers.

So a salute to the Army Rangers, Brothers who share a bond the average person will never understand.

Jag-Off of the Day: Dan Potash

2009-01-06T23:39:00.007-05:00

In what we hope will be a recurring thing here my cousin Jesse came up with a request that we do more posts about the Jag-Offs of the world. What would be more fitting than starting that off with the FSN douchbag who decided he would openly cheer for the Chargers this week? Well Mr. Dan Potash here's to you and all of the ass that you've sucked to get to a real city like Pittsburgh and away from North Mexico ... I mean Southern California.

But then you just have to go ahead and trash talk the beloved Steelers when you find out they are playing your San Diego (aka: A Whale's Vagina) Chargers.

I'm all for cheering on your hometown team. And more power to you when you do it in opponents territory. But don't try being a Pittsburgh media [lack of] personality and openly cheer on our biggest opponent of the year up to this point.

Oh yeah .... How could I leave this one out. Anyone who's a Pens fan in Pittsburgh is sick of you and your lack of talent, cheesy personality, crap 'Pens on FSN' commercials that they show 743 freakin times during each Pens game. You know, the one where this idiot is interviewing an actual Penguin while it's in it's aquarium? One word to describe your performance Dan: GAY!

In all respect Dan .... you're okay .... But seriously .... You're Chargers are goin' down!

Lesbian or Dyke - There's a fine line

2009-01-05T16:22:00.024-05:00

So me and the crew are out drinking one night and getting plastered off of Pennsylvania's Finest when these two chicks on some reality T.V. show start making out. Of course we all stop and stare because we're not gay and that sort of stuff makes us happy in a late night kind of way. My one buddy must have been retarded off his ass or maybe he was just stumbling down Irish Road a bit because he blurts out "Dude those fuckin' dykes are hot!"

Now I don't know what your opinion on the subject is but when I see two fine ass chicks kissing the word 'dyke' doesn't come to mind. So we debated it. Can a dyke be hot? Or when a hot chick is gay is she a lesbian and the ugly gay chick is a dyke? So we decided to put it to the test like all great men drinking do.

Aubrey O'Day

While there is no real truth to any rumor that Aubrey O'Day is gay she is a hot mess of action waiting to stick her drunken tongue down another woman's throat. When I look at her though I don't think 'Man that girl is a dyke!' It's more like .... 'mmm .... what a slut! ... I'd love to see her in some dirty lesbian action!' True .... True. Chalk one up for Hot Girls being lesbians.

Lindsay (B)Lohan

What can you say about this chick that hasn't been printed in the media or to some degree doesn't hold some truth to it? Not much. As much as I loathe this girl and her freakin' coked out ways she still holds this crazy power of hotness. I'm not saying I'd touch her with my manhood but I am saying she does still maintain a certain level of sexiness that makes her all lesbian. Because we all know that kissing this girl would coke us up a little too so it's definitely a look (and fantasize) but don't touch thing. Hot girl = Lesbian. Now her butch girlfriend on the other hand ....

Samantha Ronson

Now I've got nothing against Sammy Ronson but when you're pumping more testosterone than some of your fellow DJ's then you're kind of a manly chick. And manly chick equals butch which equals dyke. Because what are you more likely to say 'Whoah look at that Butch Lesbian' or 'Check out the Butch Dyke over there'? Most likely it's the latter. Besides when you look more like Tommy Lee's cousin than a chick there's no way people are calling you hot ... well unless they're coked out of their mind.

Ellen Degeneres

I love Ellen Degeneres. She's a cool chick. Seriously. She's funny as hell too. But let's be honest. If you show up to a red carpet event with a woman as a date and you are wearing a suit that makes you the man in the relationship. Period. And if you are a woman who is also a man in the relationship that makes you a bit of a dyke. Sorry Ellen. You're cool but not really cute enough for lesbian status. Uncute gay chick = Dyke.

Rosie O'Donnell

Honestly I don't know how this one slipped in here. I mean this is possibly the ugliest man ever ... What do you mean this is a woman? Seriously?!?!? All I have to say about Rosie is DYKE, DYKE, DYKE!!!! Come on .... I know a few gay chicks that will call her a flaming, crazy ass, butch dyke. Enough said.

Jodie Marsh

Jodie Marsh, a British model, is hot as hell. When I think of her and another chick together I would only call it some hot lesbian action. There is nothing butch about her (except once again her insignificant other). When I think of dyke I think some flat-chested, wife beater wearin, baggy jean saggin' chick with a studded belt, a short hair cut and zero quality makeup. That is definitely not Jodie. Advantage Lesbo.

Tila Tequila

There's a few that will disagree with this one. Why is beyond me but they will. I understand that she is not full on gay but bisexual. I also factored in the skanky-ness of her. But sometimes that's kind of appealing. Sometimes. She still is hot. Formula Hot=Lesbian. There's nothing really butch about her. I don't think I'd call her a dyke at all.

K.D. Lang

When I first saw K. D. Lang I thought 'Man that guy dresses well. He must be gay.' Well .... I was right about one of those I guess. Come on ... how can you disrespect the hotness of a word like lesbian by using it on a chick who is confused about her gender? She is the man in her relationship. Man equals butch. Butch equals Dyke.

Now let's try some picture tests .... which word comes to mind first when you see these images:

Dykes

Lesbians

Dykes

Lesbians

Now for the sake of clarification when speaking about gay chicks let's make sure that the terms are properly applied from now on. I don't want to be misinterpreted here. I don't have any problems with chicks who are dykes. They're probably cool as hell and would be able to fit in as one of the guys. Being a lesbian may be able to get you into a porno flick but seriously if you want to make it in daytime television you'd better be a dyke.

NFL PICKS: Divisional Playoffs

2009-01-03T11:22:00.008-05:00

The bad news: I went 7-8-1 in the final week of the season. But come on ... I was just resting my starters for the playoff picks.

The good news: That ass clown the Sports Guy went 7-7-2. So I finish the regular season with a better record than he does.

So now it's time to pull a little Viking Quest out of me and shout: VICTORY!!!!!!!

That's right Sports Queer .... I went there!

Like all week 17's it was an unpredictable one. But it finished shaping the NFL playoff picture and brought out a few questions:

1. Which late season collapse is worse: The 2007 Mets or the 2008 Broncos?

2. What business does the NFL have making a team on a 9-game winning streak and a 12-4 record go on the road and face an 8-8 team that only made the playoffs by default?

3. How much did you smile after finding out that an 8-8 team is in the playoffs ahead of the 11-5 New England Patriots?

4. When the Sports Guy is sitting there in second place do you think he'd rather see me in this pose

Or this one

VICTORY!!!!!!

Alright, Alright ... enough gloating ... On to the Picks!

SATURDAY JANUARY 3rd

Atlanta Falcons (-2.5) at Arizona Cardinals

I told myself I wouldn't do it. There is no way that I would pick the Cards because of their unpredictability and 9-7 record. But they do have a very good winning record at home and the Falcons are only .500 on the road. Couple that with a rookie QB starting for the Falcons (albeit a very good rookie QB) and you've got a recipe for an Arizona win. Oh yeah ... AND THEY'RE MY NFC SLEEPER!!! I don't doubt that Matt Ryan is good but there is a history of rookie QB's struggling in their playoff games.

Cardinals +2.5

Indianapolis Colts (-2.5) at San Diego Chargers

It's probably the worst case scenario for the Colts. If they win its because they were suppose to. If they lose they'll be the laughing stock of the league and further push the Chargers as the Wild Card darlings. As I said before they got an extremely raw deal from the league. Being the road team against an 8-8 team? Something needs to change. Karma will win out in this one.

Colts -2.5

SUNDAY JANUARY 4th

Baltimore Ravens (-2.5) at Miami Dolphins

I know I just talked about rookie QB's and their first playoff games. But on the flip side when you have an incredible defense to bail your ballerina-looking ass out of a jam like Joe Flacco then you can pull out a win. The Wildcat offense is going to be very ineffective against a defense with the speed that the Ravens have.

Ravens -2.5

Philadelphia Eagles (-3.5) at Minnesota Vikings

I'm really fighting back the temptation to make another Viking Quest joke here. I'll hold off for the sake of my readers. VICTORY!!! Okay I'm done .... I swear ..... I think. Anyways the Eagles are probably the most dangerous team in the NFC right now. They completely manhandled the Cowboys in the final week and have been on a tear since the McNabb benching. nobody wants to face them right now. But I think the Vikings match up well enough to turn them into a one dimensional offense. If they can get Adrian Peterson going and if Peterson can keep from turning the ball over then the Vikings will pull this one out. And the NFC will breathe a sigh of relief.

Vikings +3.5

Last Week's Record: 7-8-1

Season Record: 138-114-3

Sports Guy's 2nd Place Record: 132-116-8

Irish Road Head: Pittsburgh Girls

2008-12-31T13:50:00.033-05:00

To end the old year and to start off the 2009 year just right I've decided to bring you the hottest girls in Pittsburgh colors. I searched far and wide to bring you these beauties. I must say. Steelers fans and Pens fans are tied for the hottest of all Pittsburgh women. For some reason it was nearly impossible to find any pictures of hot chicks wearing Pitt gear or Pirates gear. The Pirates one explains itself. But come on! Where are all of the hot girls in Pitt Panthers clothing?!? Anyways, Happy New Years! Enjoy!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!

NFL PICKS: Week 17

2008-12-27T15:08:00.012-05:00

Last week I went a lousy 9-7. But that just means as long as I don't completely screw up this week the 'Sports Guy', Billy Simmons, can kiss my ass until we pick next year's games. Do you like that you Boston schmuck? Do ya'?

The last two years the guy got beat by his wife. His wife for cryin' out loud! How does that happen? Maybe he needs to be the one wearing the apron and spending all day in the kitchen .... pussy!

Anyways ... there still is one more week left so I'm going to get down to business and pick Week 17. Ooooh yeah .... that's right .... It's business time!

SUNDAY DECEMBER 27th

St. Louis Rams at Atlanta Falcons (-11)

Can anyone believe that Magic Matt Ryan has a chance to put the Falcons into the number 2 seed in the NFC? I'm starting to doubt my previous thoughts that Joe Flacco is a better QB. Matt Ryan has done nothing short of a miracle in Atlanta. How many people have even mentioned Michael Vick this year without it being accompanied with 'people are forgetting him because of Ryan'. This game won't even be close.
Falcons -11

New England Patriots (-6) at Buffalo Bills
I know I shouldn't be but I am really rooting against the Patriots in this game. Has any team not named the Lions had a rougher year? I'm dating this back to the Super Bowl last year when their perfect season was shot down and NFL fans outside of New England rejoiced. Then Brady goes down in the first game. Now they're in a three-team melee to win the AFC east and may possibly be a 11-5 team without a playoff spot. This is too freakin' sweet! I still want no shot at them winning. Take care of business Buffalo.
Bills +6

Kansas City Chiefs at Cincinnati Bengals (even)
This is the perfect matchup for one of these teams to improve their draft pick for next season. Do you think either one of them will throw it? I don't doubt this one bit. What's impressive is that the Bungals actually have a shot of finishing the season on a three game winning streak! Momentum for next year!
Bengals win

Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers (-6.5)

Quick! Why would a 5-10 team ever be favored by a touchdown? Because they're playing the Lions! That was too easy ... next time we'll have a harder one (This is also what the Lions opponents have heard in their post game locker room speech).

Packers -6.5

Tennessee Titans at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5)
I've got to take the favorite here. The Titans are just going to be resting starters. After last week's demolition of Ben Roethlisberger they are assured of the top seed in the AFC. The Colts on the other hand are just trying to lock up the 3rd seed and maybe a second home playoff game later on down the road. Smooth sailin'.
Colts -1.5

New York Giants (-1) at Minnesota Vikings
The G-Men are in the same boat as the Titans. Nothing to play for in this game. They can rest some players. I think they'll come out with all of their starters and then sit them for the second half. The Vikings need this victory to assure themselves a playoff spot. Nothing is certain. Even if the Giants come out and play the Vikings have the ability to stop the run and Adrian Peterson (if he holds the ball this week) can make some big plays. Look for the Vikings to win.
Vikings +1

Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints (even)
The only one with anything to play for here is Carolina. Win and the two seed is yours. Lose and the Falcons might take it with a win of their own. The Saints could play spoiler in their attempt to help Drew Brees break Dan Marino's mark for single season passing yards. I myself am pulling for Marino and the Panthers.
Panthers win

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8)
The only way the Browns win this is if the Steelers don't try. This team in a normal matchup is virtually incapable of beating Pittsburgh at Heinz Field. That being said, I don't see the Steeler starters out there in the second half. But Byron Leftwich and Co. should seal the deal.
Steelers -8

Oakland Raiders at Tampa Bay Bucanneers (-5)
The Raida's suck. If the Bucs win they're in. In the rematch of Superbowl XXXVII .... whatever .... it was boring anyways. The Bucs win.
Bucs -5

Chicago Bears (-3.5) at Houston Texans
Dallas may be America's Team (as only they like to call themselves) but the Texans are Texas' Team. I like them to upset today.
Texans +3.5

Washington Redskins at San Francisco 49er's (-1)
Who freakin favored the Niners today? I like Frank Gore but he's banged up. He needs 22 yards to be the first 49er running back to rush for 1000 yards in 3 consecutive seasons. I think they'll be more concerned with the record today than the win.
Redskins +1

Jacksonville Jaguars at Baltimore Ravens (-7)
I'm going out on a limb here. I know Baltimore is a tough place to play and I know the Jags haven't exaclty lived up to expectations this year but the weather is going to be extremely nice on the East Coast this weekend and the Jags have been playing better as of lately. They may not win but I'll take them to cover.
Jaguars +7

Miami Dolphins (-1) at New York Jets
One thing is certain in this game. Brett Favre will throw 4 TD passes. The big question is, How many of them will be to the Dolphin defenders? God I hope it's 4. And I hope Chad Pennington puts a big Fuck You stamp on New York's field. That would be sweet!
Dolphins -1

Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles (-2)
All I'm saying is if Jessica Simpson is within 1000 miles of this game today the Cowgirls will not win.
Cowboys +2

Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals (-5)
I'm going out on a limb here and saying the Seahawks cover the spread and maybe even pull the upset for Mike "Pringles Can Man" Holmgren. While the Cards have been my sleeper pick all season they have absolutely sucked heading into the post-season. Let's hope they get some sort of momentum here.
Seahawks +5

Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers (-6)
I don't know about you but if I was a Charger I'd be pissed that I had to beat the Broncos twice to make the playoffs. How huge was that two point conversion at the end of their first meeting now? I like the Chargers to come out pissed. I like them to win. But the Broncos beat the spread.
Broncos +6

Last week: 9-7
Season Record: 131-106-2
Sports Queer's Record: 125-109-6

Bro-Mance, A Salute to Manly Men: Bear Grylls

2008-12-24T14:22:00.002-05:00

We here On Irish Road like to salute the manly men of the world. The guys who help keep the testosterone levels of life higher than the estrogen levels. The guys that other men want to be like and women want to be with. They are the men that other men look to learn from and make themselves better and more self-sufficient.

In our first Bro-Mance post we salute the man with all of the survival skills, Bear Grylls, host of the Discovery Channel show 'Man vs. Wild'. The man is a former British Special Forces soldier and the youngest Englishman to ever summit Everest and return safely.

While reports have surfaced that sometimes Bear has stayed in hotels overnight instead of in the terrain he's suppose to be surviving the guy is still a grade A bad ass. He's a encyclopedia of knowledge in all types of outdoors settings and isn't afraid to try anything to survive the elements. Hell I've watched an episode where the guy grabbed a water snake out of the swamp, bit it's head off ala Ozzy Osbourne and ate it. If the man keeps doing stuff like that I don't care if they give him nightly pedicures in the Hilton. Just keep showing me the craziness he tries.

I don't know if you knew this but turtle's blood is a fantastic drink. Your urine is awesome when you're out of water. Oh and there are plants that are just as deadly as some snakes. He's just an adventurous soul with a camera crew to capture it all.

Worst Pittsburgh Bars

2008-12-24T09:27:00.007-05:00

When you drink as much as I have you get the opportunity to visit a lot of drinking establishments. Sometime later, I will detail my favorite ones. But I'm in more of a mood today to slam the ones I don't like.

1. Jimmy D’s – Southside

The bar is always crowded, usually has a line on weekends, is one of the few Southside Bars to charge cover and it feels like the dance floor is going to fall through at any moment. I mean did they pay off the Pittsburgh Fire Marshall? Where do they get off having a bar fuller than Pamela Anderson's bra? This bar attracts all the losers who want to grind on some chick but won't pay 8 bucks or wear get dressed up to get into Matrix to do so. They usually just stand around looking at girls dance and generally don't do anything except get in everyone's way.

2. Saddleridge – Station Square

Saddleridge used to be a good country bar (for those who liked country) that rolled with plenty of hot women and Coyote Ugly-esque Bartenders (everybody loves those). Now the only dancing they have is line dancing, plus the number of scantily clad bartenders is reduced, hot girls go somewhere else to dance and the drinks (except Miller or Coors Light) remain overpriced. And instead of hot girls in jean skirts riding the bull, its usually fat chicks who deserved to be ridden like a bull themselves.

Oh yeah, and the new Bar Room Pittsburgh, which took most of Saddleridge's space isn't much better. Station Square is well on its way to sucking when you couple these developments with the loss of Hooters.

3. Sunny Jim’s – Kilbuck Township

It is really nothing more than a restaurant posing as a bar. Last time I was there, kids were sitting at tables after 10 o’clock. Plus the bartenders are quick to cut you off and the Kilbuck Township police used to always wait for patrons to leave and subsequently pull them over for possible DUI’s. Two recent developments – there are no more Kilbuck police as they got disbanded, and Sunny Jim’s recently had a major fire forcing renovations. Talk about Karma, but not improvement. Sunny Jim’s still sucks as much as before. Do yourself a favor and skip this sequel.

4. Most any quaint local Irish Pub

Now let me explain before you flame me for this. When picturing a real Irish Pub I imagine a poorly lit, slightly unkempt bar with several beers on tap and a bunch of blue collar guys drinking beer by the pint and bitching about their wives while occasionally getting into fistfights and breaking shit. However, usually “Irish Pubs” are nothing more than places where they sell you overpriced appetizers and beer and call it “Irish” to get you to go there. Also, it is usually decorated all fancy. You think the bars in Ireland are decorated like it was San Francisco? No! Real men could care less how a bar is decorated! A perfect example is Sieb’s Pub in Ross Township. It has overpriced beer and appetizers, plus no hot woman, only older and usually married ones.

5. Olive or Twist - Downtown

I was dragged here last month by young professionals who wanted a "good martini." The five minutes I was there told me all I needed to know. This is your classic upscale yuppy bar the populated by businessmen who are too good to drink with the rest of the peasants, the gold-diggers who chase after them or brown-nosers near the bottom of the company’s org chart and want to “network” with the elite to move up faster and don’t mind paying $8.75 for a martini to do so.

6. Mario’s - Southside

This goes to show that Mario is nothing unless you tack on Luigi or Lemieux to the end of it. Mario’s is always crowded, takes forever to get a beer, never has specials and has 4 beer queers in tight shirts who think it’s a good idea to fight. As an added bonus, the last time I was there, there was a line for the men’s bathroom and none for the women’s. So naturally I went and peed in the women’s room and left. Like I’m staying at a sausage fest. I finished my beer and left to never come back.

NFL PICKS: Week 16

2008-12-21T11:21:00.006-05:00

Would the real football expert please stand up, please stand up, please stand up. I broke half the crap in my house after reading Bill Simmons article this week on ESPN. He is so bitter about the Steeler's Ryan Clark demolishing Wes Welker that he is actively rooting against the Steelers (to his own admission) and refuses, and I mean absolutely refuses, to admit the Steelers are the best team in football right now. Well Mr. Simmons let me tell you this. You are a whiney little (this portion is edited for your approval) and you suck more (just use your imagination here) than a gay man in San Francisco. After 15 weeks of picks you sit behind me with your record. That's right .... you sit behind a random blogger from Pittsburgh. Now would the real football expert please stand up? (psss .... Bill ..... sit your ass down)

This week I'm a little more hung over than usual. So I've decided to bring you the picks without the usual banter. Let's hope my cocky little paragraph above doesn't bring bad karma to my picks this week. Now ... On to the Picks!

THURSDAY DECEMBER 18th

Indianapolis Colts (-6) at Jacksonville Jaguars

Colts -6

SATURDAY DECEMBER 20th

Baltimore Ravens at Dallas Cowboys (-4)

Ravens +4

SUNDAY DECEMBER 21st

Cincinnati Bengals at Cleveland Browns (-1.5)

Bengals +1.5

New Orleans Saints (-7.5) at Detroit Lions

Saints -7.5

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5) at Tennessee Titans

Steelers -3.5

Miami Dolphins (-6) at Kansas City Chiefs

Dolphins -6

San Francisco 49er's (-5.5) at St. Louis Rams

49er's -5.5

Arizona Cardinals at New England Patriots (-4.5)

Patriots -4.5

San Diego Chargers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-4.5)

Bucs -4.5

Buffalo Bills at Denver Broncos (-5)

Bills +5

Houston Texans (-3.5) at Oakland Raiders

Texans -3.5

New York Jets (-5) at Seattle Seahawks

Jets -5

Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings (even)

Vikings win

Philadelphia Eagles (-5.5) at Washington Redskins

Redskins +5.5

Carolina Panthers at New York Giants (-1)

Panthers +1

MONDAY DECEMBER 22nd

Chicago Bears (-4) at Green Bay Packers

Packers +4

Last Week: 8-7-1

Season Record: 122-99-2

Bill Simmons Record: 117-102-6

Greatest Guy Movies of our Generation

2008-12-18T23:52:00.026-05:00

In the world there are movies and there are guy movies. We decided we needed to narrow things down a bit and compile a list of 15 of the Greatest Guy Movies of our generation. A few of the criteria we had were:

The movie had to be from the last 20 years. I know there are plenty of awesome movies that are deserving of being on a list like this but we wanted the more recent ones. Sorry Dirty Harry.
No War Movies. Come on ... if we included war movies that would take up half of our list.
It must be about Cars, Guns, Violence or Getting Laid.
It must make you feel more macho or cooler after watching it. No sappy crap unless it's used to get a manly point across or to make fun of someone.
It needs to have a strong story with good dialogue and at least one character who portrays a 'Guy's Guy' type of personality.
It needs to have some great one-liners
Finally it should be a flick that Guys love and most chicks hate.

While compiling this list I found that somebody had already tried to create a list of the 50 greatest guy movies. He failed miserably. Sorry pal. Who freaking rates Braveheart in the top 10 of guy movies and places movies like Kingpin and the 5th Element ahead of Tombstone and the Boondock Saints? Fail!

Anyways after seeing it I realized nobody would dare accuse me of copying that crap. So onto Irish Road's list of the Greatest Guy movies of our generation.

15. Terminator 2: Judgement Day

10 yrs after the first Terminator was sent to destroy Sarah Connor A new terminator is after her son, John Connor, the leader of the resistance. In an attempt to preserve his life humans from the future send a protector to save John. It was probably Arnold Schwarzeneggar's most famous role to date and the movie in which he delivered the extremely overused and very famous lines, "I'll be back" and "Hasta la vista, baby." The movie was ground breaking for it's action and sci-fi movie genres as well as it's use of CG technology.

14. Gone in 60 Seconds

Nicholas Cage, A smokin' hot Angelina Jolie, 50 exotic cars stolen in one night. You don't need too much in the way of a plot with those elements in the movie. After his little brother gets into trouble for botching a car boost Memphis Raines returns to his old stomping grounds to finish the job for him and save his life. The plan is to steal all 50 cars in one night. The movie culminates on the final car when Memphis faces his unicorn, the '67 Shelby Mustang. Famous line of the movie: "What's more exciting having sex or boosting cars?" "How about having sex while boosting cars?"

13. Reservoir Dogs

It's a Quentin Tarantino movie so what else are you going to expect but great dialogue, guns, and violence. Reservoir Dogs is about a jewelry heist gone wrong. After it's revealed there is a traitor in the mix the players start to turn on each other. The movie has every type of violence imaginable from a torture scene to a Mexican standoff in which the traitor is revealed and the characters kill each other off. Famous line of the movie: "I don't wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you're standing in my way, one way or the other, you're gettin' outta my way."

12. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

In this movie, directed and written by Guy Ritchie, four friends put their money together to play in a high stakes poker game in order to win some easy money. They get into trouble when Harry the Hatchet cheats to win their money and put them into debt another five hundred thousand pounds with only a week to pay it off. In classic Guy Ritchie fashion their are multiple story lines in the movie that all tie together in the end when the friends are bailed out of trouble with remarkable luck and find themselves close to another fortune. Famous line from the movie: "If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya."

11. The Way of the Gun

This movie is a personal favorite of mine. Guns, violence and some of the best one-liners that any macho movie could have to offer. The opening scene sets the movie high above many. It's only purpose is to introduce the characters and Sarah Silverman get's punched. What more could you ask for?!? I mean it already drops an amazing quote. "Shut that cunt's mouth Or I'll come over there and fuck-start her head!" We find out that our two stars are trouble makers looking for a way to make the big bucks. "A pint of blood will fetch you fifty bucks. A shot of cum? Three grand." They discover that a wealthy couple are paying top dollar for a woman to be a surrogate mother for them and decide to kidnap her and hold her for ransom. I've got to tell you the tactical movement in this film for the gun fighters is spectacular and the battle sequences were all choreographed by a Navy SEAL. This film is macho on a level many others. Best one liner in the movie? "Don't you think it's funny that if I grab a woman's ass and she punches me, she's fighting for her rights, but if a faggot grabs my ass and I punch his lights out, I'm a homophobe?"

10. Goldeneye

It's Bond, James Bond in probably one of the greatest action roles the character has ever had. Bond is trying to stop a Soviet General and his old friend stealing a deadly satellite weapon that's constructed to wipe out electronic systems. Along the way Bond destroys a city with a tank, takes out a train, and escapes trap after trap like only a badass spy can. No Bond movie would be complete without some kick ass cars and guns. Add in the gorgeous women like previously written about on our 'Hottest Female Villains' post and we have number 10 on our list. Aside from the usual "Vodka Martini, Shaken not stirred" and "Bond, James Bond" our favorite quote from this flick? Xenia Onatopp: "You don't need the gun." James Bond: "Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex."

9. Tombstone

It's the Wild West. It's manly men doing manly things. It's Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday. It's the Cowboys vs. the Law. There's no shortage of action in this flick. It doesn't lack macho characters and has a great story. Wyatt Earp and his brothers move to Arizona in hopes to live a peaceful and profitable life but they find out there's trouble following them and take up Law enforcement positions to establish the peace. The gun scenes are top notch as well as the dialogue between the characters. Famous line of the movie: "I'm your Huckleberry."

8. Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction has Samuel L. freakin Jackson. How much more manly do you need? It has Bruce Willis. Manlier still! It has brutal gun violence. There's a torture scene. Money and drugs are involved. Oh yeah and the story it pretty hardcore too. Quentin Tarantino out does himself with this film. With multiple story lines all tying into one at the end. There's no great way to explain this movie other than man-tastic! It can make a pre-pubescent boys balls drop faster that a nudie magazine. Quote of the movie: "That's a pretty fucking good milkshake. I don't know if it's worth five dollars but it's pretty fucking good."

7. Fight Club

Not many lists would have Fight Club down so low but for what it's worth the movies ahead of this are pretty damn good. The narrator in this flick has insomnia. He tries to find comfort in going to support groups for people are really messed up or dying. Then Marla Singer shows up. The insomnia returns. The narrator needs comfort. He needs to find something else. And then Tyler Durden shows up. "I want you to hit me as hard as you can." Fight Club is formed. It's not about money. It's not about power. It's not about fame. It's about guys finding out about what they are made of. It's bloody and anarchy and has a great storyline with awesome guy character developement. Famous line of the movie: " My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."

6. 300

The quest is manly. The bravery is manly. The fact that they believed in themselves was manly. The fact that they accomplished their task was unbelievably manly. Basically if you don't come out of this movie thinking that you're a badass just for witnessing it you might as well go buy some tampons. 300 men facing over 100,000 of Xerxes Persian Army. If nothing else you should watch the making of video and watch the training that the actors went through. Afterwards you'll have chest hair growing as thick as a rug. Famous line from the movie: "Spartans! Prepare for glory!"

5. The Boondock Saints

Who do you send to destroy a Russian mafia? The Irish. Who do you send to destroy the Italian mafia? The Irish. Who do you send to destroy the Irish? Charlie Weiss. Just kidding (sort of). Two Irish badasses take out the wicked in on unbelievably cool film. The gun factor is high. The death toll is catastrophic. And the story is unlike any other. The characters are cool and they let you know it with their actions. Oh ... and there's suppose to be a kick ass sequel coming out soon. Famous line from the movie: "Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you fucked!"

4. Diehard

This was an easy choice. It was the original and Detective John McLaine is one of the most macho guys in any movie. He's ruff around the edges. He tells people exactly what he thinks of them. He's no superman and he knows it but still will charge into trouble headfirst without a second thought of life or limb. No matter who the bad guy he'll find a way to kick their ass and piss them off while doing it. Because of him Diehard falls into number four on our list. Our favorite line of the movie: "Yipee Kiyay mother fucker!"

3. Heat

This is possibly the greatest bank robbery movie ever. EVER. The plan is well thought out and executed even better. Unfortunately the police aren't too shabby themselves. It's like watching a high-octane offense take on a top-notch defense. Who's gonna give first? To top it off it includes actors like Robert Deniro, Al Pacino, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore, Ashley Judd, and Natalie Portman. There may not be a better cast in any other movie. Defining line of the movie: "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

2. Swingers

How do you turn a boy into one of the guys? You make him watch Swingers. It's about a transplanted New Yorker named Mikey living in L.A. trying to get over his past relationship. That's where Trent and Sue come in. They take him through the steps of picking up a woman and along the way help Mikey get over his past relationship and get on with life. Doesn't sound manly enough? You've got guys sitting around playing NHL 94. Guys trying to get laid. Guys going to "Vegas, baby, Vegas." The film was honored with the first ever Guy's choice Award on Spike TV in 2007. Famous line of the movie: "You're so money and you don't even know it!"

1. Snatch

If you haven't seen this movie yet you should just go get your balls removed. It's that simple. For god's sake the movie title is a sexual innuendo. You've got a guy named Bullet tooth Tony, another named Boris the Bullet Dodger, Frankie Four Fingers, Brick Top. There's some badass scenes where people are killed. There's Jewelry theft, Bare knuckle boxing, unlicensed boxing and Irishmen. What else do you need? Once again, in this Guy Ritchie flick, it's multiple stories tying together to make one kick ass film and our top choice for Greatest Guy Movies of our generation. Famous line in the movie: "Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got 'Replica' written down the side of your gun... And the fact that I've got 'Desert Eagle point five O'... Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!"

Honorable Mentions: The Usual Suspects, The Departed, The Quick and the Dead, Smokin' Aces, Point Break, Major League

AFC North: There Can Be Only One

2008-12-16T00:03:00.012-05:00

So I realize I'm a little late with this one but I have good reason .... well, actually I don't but do you really care? If you wanted up to date, to the second, A-plus sports writing you wouldn't be coming here you'd be reading Bob Smizik over at the Post Gazette .... Oooh ... that's right. Was that mean? Good. It was suppose to be.

But you are here and you are reading my stuff. Like what was done with Bob Smizik, if you don't enjoy my writing you can always just email my editor and tell him.

Hello ... my name is Irish Road and I'm the editor ... how can I ignore you today?

But seriously, Sunday was all about defense. Number one versus number two and number one established the AFC North pecking order by beating the Baltimore defense into submission on it's own turf. Not an easy task for anybody considering only one other team has done it this year (Tennessee) and that the Steelers haven't done it since 2002. But this day was different and this defense was unlike any we've seen. They posted their 14th straight game without allowing 300 yards on offense. They maintained their grip on the number one rankings across the board. They even dished out some bone crushing hits on the Raven offense.

But against Baltimore they would need the offense to do something. Anything. Big Ben and the offense once again came through in the final minutes, delivering an Elway and Montana esque 90+ yard drive down the field in the Ravens face. Do I need to remind everyone it was on their field?

It culminated with a controversial pass to the goal line that was caught by Santonio Holmes who had fumbled the ball twice earlier. The play was initially ruled down at the 2 inch line or something (they must have had Joe Flaccid whip out his 'special buddy' to measure that one). But after an Official review the referees overturned the play and called it a touchdown.

After that the Ravens had one more shot to drive it down the field. They were helped out when the refs awarded them an extra 15 yards when Jeff Reed (you read that correctly) got a personal foul for roughing up some pussy that wears black and purple (by the way where does this put a football player on the feminine scale for looking for a penalty when the place kicker shoves him). The Ravens, however were unable to take advantage and Joe 'my penis is' Flacco threw an interception to William Gay. The Ravens fans cried as the Steelers won the AFC title on their field.

This is what retards look like

This is what losers look like.

This is what Champions look like.

Irish Road Head: Lauren (Lo) Bosworth

2008-12-15T23:10:00.021-05:00

A lot has been made about the girls on the Hills. People love Lauren Conrad 'cause she's the star. Everyone loves Whitney Port because she's tall, smart and classy. Some love Audrina Patridge because she's been naked. Everyone loves Heidi Montag because she got fake boobies ... well ... actually nobody likes her or that ass-clown of a boyfriend (husband?) that follows her around with his creepy uni-bomber-esque beard. But the girl who often gets lost in the shuffle is my personal favorite Lauren Bosworth, or 'Lo' as she's called on the show (don't ask me why I watch the show ... you know you freakin' watch it too, douche bag).

The facts are except for maybe Whitney, Lo has the best personality out of the chicks on the show. She's probably the smartest and she definitely has the most common sense out of the girls. In fact her common sense level seems to be abnormally high for any female. Unfortunately she's a grad of UCLA but hey at least there's some Pitt ties there (Ben Howland). If you like nothing else about her she was the girl that gave that retard 'Justin Bobby' his nickname and pissed him off in doing so. But enough about the other retards on the show. We're here to fawn over the under-rated hottie Lo.

The 22 year old, while without her own spin-off, is without a doubt the most entertaining person on her best friend's 'reality show'. She's quick witted and that's why the producers do the best to give her as little air time as possible. It wouldn't be entertainment if somebody smart was to expose the rest of the ladies for how dumb they really are. It's too bad ... because shots of her like these really get our motor going.

NFL PICKS: Week 15

2008-12-14T11:54:00.006-05:00

This week Nighthawk sends me an email .... It said something something work ... something something drinking ... something something girls. But he included his picks and asked me to write it up for him. So here goes....

THURSDAY DECEMBER 11th

New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears (-3)

When I was previewing this game I thought two things. New Orleans is primarily a passing team and Drew Brees hands were going to be freezing. That fell in favor of Chicago. They have a tough defense and an offense more geared towards the cold weather.

Bears -3

SUNDAY DECEMBER 14th

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Atlanta Falcons (-2)

Both of these teams lost tough division matchups last week. Whoever loses this one loses a chance at the playoffs. I was a little dissappointed with the way Jon Gruden's defense performed against the Panthers. I think the Falcons are going to try some of the things the Carolina offense did but the Bucs will be ready.

Bucs +2

Washington Redskins (-9) at Cincinnati Bengals

I don't hear anyone shouting Who Dey now. It's coming out more like What the eff? The Bengals are just unbelievably awful now. But I just have a feeling about them today. They WON'T lose by 9. That's right ... They won't. But they'll still lose.

Bengals +9

Detroit Lions at Indianapolis Colts (-11.5)

Runhigh #1 rule of picking football this season: Don't bet on the Lions. Simple enough.

Colts -11.5

San Diego Chargers (-3.5) at Kansas City Chiefs

How bad are you playing this season when Vegas only favors you by 3.5 against the Chiefs. But when you were suppose to win you're division and with 3 weeks left you have a 5-8 record things are going pretty bad. Still ... this game is against the Chiefs.

Chargers -3.5

Seattle Seahawks at St. Louis Rams (even)

Between these two teams their are four wins and twenty-two losses. This game is officially this week's Toilet Bowl. Normally with no spread I'd take the home team but I like Mike Holmgren's to not screw up as much against the Rams. That and Mike Holmgren looks like the guy on the Pringles can.

Seahawks win

San Francisco 49er's at Miami Dolphins (-2.5)

How is the spread this low? Is this a joke? Does anyone else like the Dolphins chances to win the East? The 49er's season has been reduced to ruining other teams seasons. This is their first chance to do so.

Dolphins -2.5

Buffalo Bills at New York Jets (-5.5)

No Trent Edwards. The Jets are coming off another bad loss. The Jets defense is bonding together. Brett and Coles are new BFF's. The Jet's need this more. The Bills have little to zero chance in this game.

Jets -5.5

Green Bay Packers (-3) at Jacksonville Jaguars

The Packers are falling. At this point Aaron Rodgers is going to miss taking the Pack to the Playoffs. Unfortunately his counterpart on the New York Jets still has a shot. Does anyone else still think the Jags can do anything right this season? Actually there is one person.

Jaguars +3

Tennessee Titans (-3) at Houston Texans

Who's the Texans' QB this week? The only constant they've really had this season has been Mr. Mario Williams (Reggie who?). The Titans got this.

Titans -3

Minnesota Vikings at Arizona Cardinals (-2.5)

SLEEEEPER PICK!!! Nighthawk's NFC sleeper pick was the first team to secure a playoff spot this season. Now they're playing for a ten win season. The Vikes are a little banged up and won't have the muscle to win this game.

Cardinals -2.5

New England Patriots (-4) at Oakland Raiders

Yawn ..... Patriots .... Something tells me Cassell puts up about 350 yards today.

Patriots -4

Denver Broncos at Carolina Panthers (-6)

Do you know why the Panthers are favored by 6? Because their passing game demolished the Bucs last week. Do you know why the Broncos are underdogs by 6? Because their pass defense sucks.

Panthers -6

Pittsburgh Steelers at Baltimore Ravens (even)

I don't know what you think but I'm pretty sure that there won't be that many points scored in this game. The Steelers defense is ranked #1 in every category. The Ravens are #2 in total defense. We'll find out who's the better D and the better team in the AFC North.

Steelers win

New York Giants (-2.5) at Dallas Cowboys

With as many off field issues as the Cowboys are having this week I'd be surprised if Romo didn't throw three more interceptions. Even without Brandon Jacobs the Giants are a beast. The team hasn't even let the Plaxico Burress fiasco affect them.

Giants -2.5

MONDAY DECEMBER 15th

Cleveland Browns at Philadelphia Eagles (-10)

The Browns .... hahahahahahahhahahahaha. Oh ... somebody tell me what the hell either one of these teams are doing on Monday Night Football?

Eagles -10

Last Week: 10-6

Season Record: 114-92-1

FINALLY ! ! ! ! !

2008-12-11T22:29:00.009-05:00

Just like Sykora raining down powers from the heavens to call his shot in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup yours truly called upon some heavenly vision to foresee Petr Gun earning his first Hat Trick in a Pens jersey at Mellon Arena just over a week ago from today. Forty-Four tries short. Forty-five was so sweet. It was this night that he went a step beyond and added that third goal thus earning his first career Hat Trick.

It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy and one of the team's constant hard workers. He's a blue collar player of sorts. The kind that fits with this city and thus with it's hockey team. Fittingly Petr Gun's third goal came while in front of the net off a feed from, who else, the Pittsburgh Kid, Sidney Crosby who fed a beautiful pass across the middle on the tape of Sykora's stick blade. It was a one of a kind pass that only Sid consistently makes in the league.

Petr Sykora finished it off and on cue the intelligent hockey fans of Pittsburgh rained hats down from the Mellon Arena rafters. But Petr was not alone. Another consummate worker named Pascal Dupuis earned his first career Hat Trick on a pretty move after a beautiful feed from Matt Cooke during four on four play during the third. The fans showed him their love too tossing whatever they had left towards the ice.

It was the kind of blitzkrieg offense that we've been waiting to see from this team of superstars (yes like you Max Talbot). The final score of the game, 9-2. Thirteen different Pens recorded a point against the Islanders. The three stars of the game ended up being 1 - Sykora, 2- Dupuis, and 3- Satan. It's not often that you don't call Sid the Kid one of the stars after a three point night but I doubt if anyone will try to argue this one.

Other notes around the Pittsburgh world:

-The Pirates trade catcher Ronnie Paulino to the Philadelphia Phillies for prospect Jason Jaramillo. Apparently the Phillies recent success has frightened so much that they are trying desperately to return to their losing ways.

-The Pens next game is in Philadelphia against the Flyers at 1:00.

-Malkin now has 48 points to lead the league. Crosby is at 44 points and Ovenchkin is third with 37.

TEXTING RULES

2008-12-11T18:51:00.017-05:00

Texting is a great leap in technology. You can make plans, vote for All Star teams, American Idol and avoid talking to people you don't like. However, some concerns have come to light.

1. In the car - texting while driving is dangerous, so be careful when you do it! Refrain from it in bad weather, but if taking one hand off the wheel to drink a pop, talk on the phone, eat breakfast, do your hair or touch your girl is allowed under the law, feel free to take a hand to text other people. Just don't be the guy who gets in an accident and wrecks into me or causes me to wait in traffic. Otherwise I don't care.

2. In the bathroom - reading the sports section on the john is for middle aged men. At work, the best way to catch up on returning my text messages is on the toilet. However, once you use toilet paper, refrain from any more text messages until you have washed your hands.

3. At family get togethers. Go ahead and text. If your extended family objects ... inform them that they should be more interesting if you are to pay more attention to them.

4. After midnight - 72% of text messages after midnight are booty calls or some variation there of. When your phone buzzes after midnight expect it to be someone who wants to knock boots.

5. For the other 28%, feel free to text whatever you want. Just remember that your parents, boss, or friends who have work in the morning may not want to be woken up by a text inviting them to eat at Denny's at 2 a.m. I wish cell phones came with a breathalyzer feature that was would require you to be sober to text between midnight and 4 a.m but until then a padlock will suffice.

6. Guys in relationships - when texting girls who aren't your girlfriend or a relative, quickly delete your inbox before your girl checks your phone. Also, change up your ringtones on occasion if you have different ones for different groups so your girl can't always tell who is texting you.

7. On a date - You're phone should be off or on silent during a date. Responding to text messages while you are on a date is a guaranteed way to not have to make her breakfast in the morning. Trust me: that new blonde joke you just received can wait till the next day.

8. Two days is still the industry standard to call a girl after you meet her, (if you don't know what I'm talking about go watch Swingers) however, use are free to use your best discetion about whether to text her before then.

9. In class - if the Professor is reviewing the same material for the 3rd freaking time feel free to text some friends to maintain your sanity. Just make sure you keep listening to him so you don't get embarrassed when you have no idea whats going on when he calls on you.

10. At work - in this economy you should probably refrain from texting at work. At the very least don't let your boss see you doing it. In general though, texting is a great way communicate with the outside world while avoiding the potential for your employer reading your email.

11. Don't listen to what people over 40 say about text messaging. People with gray hair are not the target demographic of Verizon and other cell phone companies texting plans. Frankly it is a demographic they can do without.

12. Texting IS NOT the way to announce your VP pick! You listening Obama? First, by doing so at 3 a.m. you just violated rule number 4! Secondly, like I needed woken up at 3 in the morning in the middle of beautiful drunk sleep to receive a text announcing Joe Biden as your VP pick. I'm guessing like 29% of people responded back saying Joe Who? since no one under 50 even knows who he is. FYI, texts containing Sarah Palin pics will be greatly appreciated at any time of the day.

13. Lastly, and this is most important, be unique in your emails. Don't make it a habit to constantly forward other jokes, pictures, etc. from other people without occasionally coming up with something good of your won.

Sports Hero of the Day: The UFC

2008-12-11T00:22:00.010-05:00

Last night the Spike TV hosted a special UFC "Fight for the Troops" show. It was a free show where the UFC held matches trying to raise money for for Fallen Soldiers. The goal of the show was to raise enough money to be able to build a traumatic brain injury treatment center to care for soldiers returning from combat with traumatic brain injuries and psychological problems.

You just can't say enough about the UFC doing this for the Service Members. You have to thank all of the fighters who gave their time visiting the wounded men and women to boost their morale. You have to thank all of the people who helped make it happen like Dana White, Joe Rogan, Mike Goldberg, Bruce Buffer, the UFC referees and the Spike TV production crews. You have to thank all of the celebrities who spent the time to ask for donations to the fund like Samuel L. Jackson, James Gandolfini, Chris O'Donnel, Craig Ferguson, Robert Patrick, Rob Lowe, Mick Foley, Matt LeBlanc, Ron Livingston, 50 Cent, Laura Prepon, Everlast, Shane Victorino, Jack Black and Charlie Sheen. Forgive me if I missed any of them. A special thanks goes out to everyone who donated to the fund. Being a veteran of Iraq this one hits close to home and means a lot to know that the Men and Women of the Services are loved and remembered.

On to the action! There were many great fights. It seemed like everyone turned it up a notch in front of the soldiers at Fort Bragg. There was zero, absolutely zero, lack of effort from the fighters. It was truly an event and a show. Once again thank you to the fighters! Two of the matches that stuck out the most tonight were the fights Ben Saunders vs. Brandon Wolff and Josh Koscheck vs Yoshiyuki Yoshida which was the main event of the night.

In the Saunders-Wolff match Ben Saunders put on one of the most dominant one-sided fights (over a minute long) that I've ever seen. Saunders got in the Mauy Thai clench early and just threw knees in something that looked like it was out of Street Fighter. Joe Rogan called it the "most devastating use of the muay thai clench we've ever seen." Unbelievably awesome! You have to try and see a replay (it's Spike I'm sure you'll be able to).

When Josh Koscheck squared off with Yoshiyuki Yoshida it was just pure dominance. I swear before every fight I see Koscheck in they announce how much he's improved in his striking. Not being one to disappoint Josh proved them right. Josh gave one of the most incredibly brutal knockouts by a straight right hand ever. Yoshida was out cold while standing straight up and just collapsed. Ugly! This will be on one of those greatest knockout compilations soon for sure.

But the real heroes of the night are the Men and Women who serve in the Armed Forces. They ensure our Human Rights every time they put on the uniform and serve our country. The biggest thanks go out to them. Please log on to http://www.fightforthetroops.com/ and find out how you can donate to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund

You can't say it better than UFC's Mike Goldberg as he closed out the program with his final thought, "We have all been reminded tonight that freedom is a privilege."

Thanks again to the UFC and thanks forever to the troops!

The Best of Real Men of Genius

2008-12-10T22:02:00.004-05:00

We here On Irish Road love to think of ourselves as Manly Men. As Manly Men we are fans of Bud Light's 'Real Men of Genius'. After much research and YouTubing we have brought you our list of the Best of Real Men of Genius.

10. Mr. Cell Phone Holster Wearer

9. Mr. Really Really Really Bad Dancer

8. Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy

7. Mr. T-Shirt Launcher Inventor

6. Mr. Male Football Cheerleader

5. Mr Pro Sports Heckler Guy

4. Mr. Basketball Court Sweat Wiper Upper

3. Mr. Push-Up Bra Inventor

2. Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor

Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer

Well there you have it. Did we miss any that you like? Let us know in the comments section!

DRINKING RULES

2008-12-09T22:26:00.006-05:00

Christmas and New Years Parties are coming up and people will be drinking more. So I thought it was a good time to provide a refresher course on drinking rules.

Warm beer tastes like piss ... if you aren't going to finish a beer before it gets warm you may as well not open it. Also ... don't bring warm beer to the party. That is like eating 3 minutes before you hop in the pool.

Guys - do not buy or drink any girly drinks, examples include Cosmopolitans, Smirnoffs, Daquiris and basically anything fruity. Stick to beer (non-light), shots, and mixed drinks involving vodka, whiskey, rum and tequila with one mixer.

However - ALL guys should be well versed in the preparation of such drinks to aid in the courting process. Hint: Girls can not taste the alcohol in fruity drinks, which will aid the courting process.

At house parties, occasionally look around and find someone drunker than you. If you can't find someone drunker than you, STOP DRINKING. You are the drunk person and will be the one everyone is drawing and taking pictures of. While we here at Irish Road fully support getting drunk, it defeats the purpose if you are the one getting shamed.

Which brings me to our next rule - if you pass out with your shoes on - expect to wake up with enough graffiti on your face/body to make a LA gangbanger blush.

You picked Natty Light ... stick with it. Those who bring shitty beer or well liquor to a party will be expected to finish it before indulging in the beverages brought by people with less constraints on their pocketbook than Scrooge.

Learn how to properly pour beer from a keg ... head is a 2 a.m. activity in the bathroom. This also means no over pumping of the keg. Doing so is grounds for explusion.

Clean up your mess - Everyone occasionally has a bad night drinking and causes a mess. Either clean up your mess or make it up to your friend the next day. Making up means apologizing and buying a GOOD case or beer or bottle of liquor. Busch Light or Wild Turkey will not suffice. If it happens at the bar, blame someone else and move on.

Guys - NEVER let a girl outchug you or beat you in any volume consumption drinking game ... doing so will reduce your status to man-bitch and cause others to question your sexuality.

Bitch beer - Girls love Miller Lite. It is like nectar to a hummingbird, if you expect to have a party that isn't a sausage fest be sure to have Miller Lite as one of the beers. Also, be sure to make fun of any guys who partake in drinking Miller Lite when better beer is available.

When in Rome - follow house rules for Beer Pong and other drinking games. I'm sure you're rules work just fine ... but my house ... my rules. If you want to have redemptions to last 20 minutes for each game ... host your own party.

An awesome hangover cure discovered by Irish Road is Gatorade AM. When planning to drink heavy, have some of this nearby for the next day. Better yet, sell some to your friends for a profit the next day.

Enjoy your holidays! Abide by the above rules and above all avoid the cops and DUI's over the holidays!

The Rundown

2008-12-09T20:34:00.010-05:00

Congratulations are in order to the Pitt football team who somehow (despite their coach) went 9-3 earning the second best bowl game in the Big East. Apparently some team called the Bearcats won the Conference. But it will be Pitt squaring off against the Oregon State on New Year's Eve in the Sun Bowl. I think this will be a really good matchup but I predict a Pitt victory (of course) 42-35 in OT.

Speaking of Bowl games Penn St get's to take on USC in a classic Pac Ten - Big Ten matchup. Both teams are worthy of a shot at the National title but since the NCAA and the BCS suck more dick than a gay man in San Francisco we'll never know how far they would have gone in an actual playoff. Instead we have to watch Florida play Oklahoma. You know ... '#2' Oklahoma who has the same record as #3 Texas but lost to Texas when the two squared off earlier in the season. Yeah .... but this championship system is cool. Nobody really wants to see who the best team is. We'd rather let some douchebag who knows more about 'html' code than actual freakin' football games tell us who are the top two teams than see a playoff.

I've come to realize that I've been extremely harsh on Mr. Ben Roethlisberger as of late. I mean he hasn't been playing great football lately but like a lot of other people I seem to blame him a lot for our lack of offense more than he deserves. The facts are that Ben has been playing hurt and without the same arm strength that he can when he's healthy thus affecting his ability to throw the deep ball or to be as accurate a he is capable of. The guy is a warrior and unlike quarterbacks of old (see Kordell Stewart) Ben has that ability to make a special play at any moment and bring the Steelers back in the game. Ben is capable of greatness when he has a competent (not all-star but competent) offensive line and even more importantly a competent coordinator calling in the plays.

So for the second game in a row the Pens lose but this one was worse than the Ottawa game. This game was at home and the Pens again blew a lead to the Buffalo Sabres. They let the Sabres score three unanswered goals and win the game in regulation. On a side note Hal Gill went down in the Ottawa game and will be out 2-4 weeks.

The Bucs released their Spring Training schedule and things couldn't be more exciting. Awesome! Soon we'll find out which new overpaid underachievers will be playing for us this year! And we still have a few weeks left to sign more of them! Oh joy! If that didn't get your heart pounding maybe this will:

Then again ... maybe we'll just get that record of 17 losing seasons this year.

Steelers Offense Plays bad, Steelers D saves the day against the Cowgirls

2008-12-08T17:07:00.008-05:00

I seriously think I cussed the Steelers offense out for three quarters and rejoiced for one
half of another. You can't say enough about the Steelers defense. Four turnovers in the first half against a playoff caliber team is amazing. You can't say much about the Steelers offense. At least nothing too good anyways. Three points off of four first half turnovers is pathetic.

"Seriously man! Those guys are lighting you up!"

You can try to say that the Dallas defense was up to the task but seriously quit kidding yourself. The Offense was awful top to bottom. The line was porous, couldn't run block and was barely pass blocking. Ben wasn't making poor decisions he just wasn't making any decisions and ended up taking sacks when he clearly could have/should have thrown the ball away. The running game was non-existent and Bruce Arians .... well I don't think I have six hours to write what I think about him. But from what I saw Arians couldn't out scheme a pee-wee football defense right now. I will say this though. When it came to crunch time Ben and the Offense made the plays it needed to and secured a tie. And as much as I cussed him out last night Ben still has that X-factor that few other QB's have.

But without the juggernaut defense we would have been nothing. After scoring to tie the game at 13 Dallas got the ball back with plenty of time to drive the field and win the game. Instead the defense forced a quick throw out of Tony "Mr. Simpson" Romo that Deshea Townsend picked off and after some good moves ran into the end zone for a touchdown. Speaking of interceptions who the hell taught Ike Taylor how to catch? Never mind. So Jeff Reed punches in the extra point for a 20-13 score and that was all she wrote. Mr. Simpson wasn't able to do anything else and the Steelers won, despite their offense.

"Quit making fun of my quarterback ... *sniffle sniffle* .... that's my quarterback!"

Irish Road Trip: Links for the Day

2008-12-05T20:43:00.006-05:00

-Bill Simmons is now Actively rooting against the Steelers because of the hit Ryan Clark laid on Wes Welker. Bill ... I knew Boston fans were all cocky and arrogant but I never knew that if you put a Boston fan in L.A. it turned them into a bitch too! No wonder you're wife kicked your ass the last two years in the NFL picks! Oh ... by the way our own writer, Nighthawk is currently beating you by 1 this year!

-Earlier today one of the greatest pitchers of our time, Greg Maddux, announced his retirement from baseball. Greg, even though he always played for a rival, remained one of my favorite pitchers because of his grace and control he had on the mound when pitching. Good Luck Greg!

-O.J. Simpson has just been sentence and will spend a minimum of a decade behind bars. Does anybody still believe he is innocent of the murders of Nicole Brown? If you said yes you're a fucking idiot!

-Matt Hasslebeck is still a douchebag. Dude I don't know if you realize you pretty much told everyone you got an ass beating from a girl.

-Raise the Jolly Roger is currently keeping track of all of the Jack Wilson off-season talk.

NFL PICKS: Week 14

2008-12-05T13:01:00.007-05:00

THURSDAY DECEMBER 5th

Oakland Raiders at San Diego Chargers (-10)

After watching the Raiders lose to the Chiefs last week ... The Chiefs? There was no way I was going to take them against the Chargers.

Chargers -10

SUNDAY DECEMBER 7th

Jacksonville Jaguars at Chicago Bears (-6)

I believed in the Jaguars breaking out of their funk one too many times this year. After hearing Fred Taylor call the 2008 Jags the "Worst team I've ever been on" there's no way I'm taking them again.

Bears -6

Minnesota Vikings (-8) at Detroit Lions

Runhigh #1 rule of picks: Don't bet on the Lions. Done and done.

Vikings -8

Houston Texans at Green Bay Packers (-7)

The Packers are one of those teams who I believed in earlier in the season and blew their second half of the year. The Texans should bring some momentum of a Monday Night win into this game. If the Packers win it definitely won't be by 7.

Texans +7

Cleveland Browns at Tennessee Titans (-10)

The Browns and their 3rd string QB going against the Titans and their defense? I hope you brought a couple more backup QB's because Albert Haynesworth is going to feast on them today.

Titans -10

Cincinnati Bengals at Indianapolis (-11)

I heard a crazy stat this week that the Colts haven't won by more than a touchdown all year. Maybe I'm making this up or something but after checking I found that other than them crushing Baltimore in week 6 their biggest win was by 6 points over Houston. But not picking them to destroy the Bengals is going to take a few more beers. Luckily that's what this site is about.

Bengals +11

NOT!!!!!!!!!! You didn't seriously believe I'd do that right? The Bengals are the Lions of the AFC!

Colts -11

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints (even)

Am i crazy or is this one easy? Not Big Easy but an easy pick? What does Vegas know that I don't?

Falcons win

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants (-8.5)

A classic NFC East division matchup. I like the Eagles chances ... even in New York. Don't get me wrong. The Giants still win but I think the Eagles keep it close.

Eagles +8.5

Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos (-8)

The Chiefs did well to beat the Raiders in Oakland but this day they'll get blown out by the Broncos in Mile High.

Broncos -8

Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (even)

I can't believe in the Bills anymore. I tried to hold on as long as I could because they were my sleeper and they fired out of the gate to begin the season. But after 4 straight losses, a win against lowly Kansas City, and then only posting 3 points against the 49er's at home in another loss I'm not picking them again.

Dolphins win

New York Jets (-8) at San Francisco 49er's

As I write this I'm watching VH1's Brooke knows best. Why am I telling you this? Because talking about Brooke Hogan is a hell of a lot better than talking about a certain Jet's QB who wears #4. Plus it gives me an excuse to post a picture of Brooke Hogan in a tiny little bikini.

If her show literally wasn't the only entertaining thing on right now I wouldn't be watching it. She is probably the dumbest woman on TV currently. But with airbags like those I guess she doesn't exactly have to be a genius. Or even of average intelligence. Oh yeah ... the pick.
Jets -8

New England Patriots (-7) at Seattle Seahawks
Things can't get much worse for the Seahawks and their fans .... well they could. The Seahawks could decide to pack up and move to Oklahoma City (What? Too soon?). Things won't get any better for the Seachickens today. After getting manhandled by the Steelers D the Patriots will want to exact revenge. And they have a perfect, weaker foe to take it out on today.
Patriots -7

St. Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals (-14)
The Rams have pretty much been destroyed by every team they faced this year. And I mean a double digit massacre in most of them. I think the Cardinals pull this one off and win by 2 TD's.
Cardinals -14

Dallas Cowboys at Pittsburgh Steelers (-1)
You've gotta be freakin' kidding me right? The Steelers are only favored by a point after marching into New England and handing them an ass whoopin'? This game is too easy to call. Silverback is going to put Tony Romo on his back more times than Johnny Knoxville did to Jessica Simpson during the filming of Dukes of Hazzard.
Steelers -1

Washington Redskins at Baltimore Ravens (-7)
I hate to say this as a Steelers fan but I love Joe Flacco. He's going to be a great QB. With everyone talking about Matt Ryan this year it's easy to forget that Flacco is a rookie too. I think Flacco is better and should be the leading candidate for Rookie of the Year. It makes you wonder what should of been if that douchebag Wannestedt played him as the starter at Pitt. That being said this matchup should be better than expected. Washington has been a better road team this year than home team and with the closeness in proximity of the teams the Redskins fans should travel well in this game. I look for the Redskins to keep it close and maybe pull it off at the end.
Redskins +7

MONDAY DECEMBER 8th

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers (-1)
In the NFL's matchup of the week the Bucs and Panthers battle for control of the NFC South. I've stated numerous times that the Panthers were quietly rolling through their season under everyone's radar. I didn't think they could go into Green Bay and win last week and they proved me wrong. Now they get the Bucs at home with a chance to put themselves in first place in their division. But don't under-estimate Jon Gruden's defense. The Bucs will battle with Carolina's offensive line all night. Jake Delhomme will have to be exceptional tonight to pull it off.
Buccaneers +1

Last Week: 10-6
Season Record: 104-86-1

Sy-Skora

2008-12-04T22:57:00.010-05:00

If Petr Sykora hits 50 2-goal games in his career without notching a hat trick he might earn the nickname 'Mr. Lightning Strikes Twice'. But after his 42nd game tonight, where he lit the lamp twice in Carolina, I'm sure he doesn't want that to happen. And I'm positive Pens fans don't either. I was really pulling for him after he got his second. Malkin knew the situation too because the rest of the game he did all he could to set up 'Petr Gun' (as Errey and Steigerwald love to call him). But alas it was not to be. Part of me felt disappointed for Petr but another part actually was happy it didn't happen in Carolina. Wouldn't it be great for Sykora to get his first in the black Pens sweater with penguin ball caps raining down from the Mellon Arena rafters and all of Steel Town cheering his name? That's what I'm hoping and I'm predicting that it happens this year. Petr Gun will get his first hat trick this year and it will happen in the Steel City. You heard it here first.

But Peter Sykora wasn't the only star of the game or even the number one star of the game. In fact I may have even put Sabu in front of Sykora if only by a little bit. It was Crosby who played out of his mind. He was everywhere the loose puck was tonight and then some. Crosby had four assists in the game and is on a torrid scoring pace with 14 points in his last 5 games. Sabourin faced 36 shots saving 34 of them. He now sits second in goals against average and fourth in save percentage.

On a side note it slightly irks me that Steigy and Errey are calling Sabourin Sabu as of lately. I've been using that nickname for awhile now (dating back to last year). At least my reason is cool. They're just playing off his name. I'm playing off his name while honoring one of my favorite old ECW wrestler's who's actual ring name was Sabu.

But that's another point. Back to Sykora and the Pens. Sykora now has 7 goals, 8 assists for 15 points this season tied for fourth on the team with Tyler Kennedy. Crosby is now two points back of Malkin in the scoring race with 39 points and five points ahead of third place Ovenchkin. The Pens finish up their road trip in Ottawa on Saturday. Game time is 2:00.

Tales From Craigslist

2008-12-04T14:17:00.009-05:00

I really didn't feel like attempting something funny today so I let Craigslist do it for me.

Companiship - $1 (North braddock)
Reply to: mailto:sale-944342720@craigslist.org?subject=Companiship%20-%20$1%20(North%20braddock) [?]Date: 2008-12-04, 12:55AM EST

Will trade handyman work for some time spent together with female,

-Will work for sex probably would get the point across better.

wanted: barter for queen mattress/box (pittsburgh)
Reply to: mailto:sale-944748649@craigslist.org?subject=wanted:%20barter%20for%20queen%20mattress/box%20(pittsburgh) [?]Date: 2008-12-04, 12:21PM EST

this dude here is in need of a queen mattress and box spring. My back is killing me from the futon someone gave me, and the couch is no better. i am really not looking to pay for it, since i have $70 until the 15th. I also dont even know if i can get a queen box (non-split) up my stairs. So i am offering up a shag in leui of money. It will really be a good shag, i promise... i mean hell, if i get a free mattress and box spring, it better be a good long well rounded one. It can be a shag you can fancy, but it can get down and dirty if you want. it just needs a clean place.

-Give me a bed to sleep on and I'll fuck you in it too! Nice trade off dipshit.

Christmas tree, you cut and haul (washington pa)
Reply to: see below Date: 2008-12-02, 10:20AM EST

irregular tree, great for corner. It may be too tall for a room, but it's your job to dispose of any unwanted bottom. 724-229-4779

-There's a shitty tree in my backyard. Come remove it for me for free ..... I mean, uh, hey there's a Free Christmas tree here!

CURB ALERT "THURSDAY'S TRASH" (OAKMONT, PA NEAR VERONA)
Reply to: mailto:sale-940285686@craigslist.org?subject=CURB%20ALERT%20%22THURSDAY [?]Date: 2008-12-01, 12:01PM EST

BASSETT 5-6 DRAWER DRESSER, GOOD CONDITION VERY STURDY (HONEY WOOD COLOR), FIANC`E MOVED IN AND HIS DRESSER DOES NOT COMPLIMENT MY DECOR. I FEEL EXTREMELY BAD, BUT I HAVE NO STORAGE SPACE FOR IT EITHER. PLEASE COME AND GET IT, IT IS ON MY PORCH. I HAVE A DOG, THAT DOES NOT LIKE VISITORS SO PLEASE CALL IN ADVANCE 412-592-2332

-Go me! I've officially made my boyfriend my bitch! Now help me throw out all of his shit! Oh yeah ... watch out for my dog ... he helps me remove the testicles off of men ... Men like my boyfriend.

Free Lazyboy Recliner (Irwin)
Reply to: mailto:sale-939494752@craigslist.org?subject=Free%20Lazyboy%20Recliner%20(Irwin) [?]Date: 2008-11-30, 4:55PM EST

Good shape 724-446-1027

-Hey this pink, falling apart, dirty ass recliner is free! I guess rednecks have a different definition for 'good shape' than the rest of us.

I can not get this gun slinger out of my head!!! w4m (Washington, PA)
Reply to: mailto:pers-934678767@craigslist.org?subject=I%20can%20not%20get%20this%20gun%20slinger%20out%20of%20my%20head!!!%20%20%20%20w4m%20(Washington,%20PA) [?]Date: 2008-11-26, 2:14AM EST

I went to the pistol counter at this Washington store and was looking at all the weapons in the glass showcases that lined the wall. As I strolled down the isle, I was a little uncomfortable with all the attention I was getting from the other patrons looking over their shoulders at the "woman" shopping for a pistol. I spent about 20 minutes with one salesman, asking questions and trying the fit of different pistols in my hands. While doing so, the gentleman to my right, also a patron, was ease dropping on our conversation. After I was satisfied with all the questions I had for the salesman and trying half a dozen or so pistols, I was ready to leave. That's when the man to my right who was ease dropping started giving me some good advice on which pistole may best suit my needs. He spent another 10 minutes or so pointing out different features on some of the models I had previously looked. He advised me on things the salesman did not cover. A big question I had, but did not discuss with the salesman, was the best way to conceal. I spent some time discussing this with Mr. Ease Dropper. Finally, I flat out asked him in a low whisper if he was packing. I'll never forget this.... Staring down from his 6'+ frame to my 5'4" frame, about 12" between us, his narrowing eyes fixed deeply on mine.... He flashed me a crooked smile, then gave me the most sensuous... yet inconspicuous.... nod "Yes". He had me at that point. I don't think I can remember anything else he said from then on. I do remember asking where it's concealed. Out of the corner of my eye, I seen his right hand slowly move up to his right front pocket of his jeans. With a quick head gesture he directed my eyes towards his right front pocket of his pants.... all the while, his eyes never stopped looking at my face. He lifted his shirt ever so slightly. Slowly letting my eyes drift down over his upper body, drinking in every inch of his manly physique, I could see just the grip of his 9MM sticking above the waist line of his jeans... but even more impressive was his firm satin skin pulled tightly over his lower abs. I'm sure my gaze lingered longer then it should have. When I glanced back up at him, his focus remained intently on my eyes. I wondered if he noticed my linger?? Could he tell that long before he ever lifted his shirt, I was loosing myself in him. How I imagined pressing my lips to his, wondered what his manly hands would feel like caressing my body. I know at this point I was starting to blush, so I ended our conversation rather quickly, thank him for his time and skedaddled out of there!! So, do you know what happened next??? I got into my car, stopped at the first mini mart I came to, bought a pack of cigarettes and smoke 3 of them on my drive home!!! And I've been smoke free for 3 weeks!! Damn!!! Mr Ease Dropper, if by some odd chance you read this... I do have more questions for you. Some questions are about firearms, some are not. Email me and tell me what you were wearing.

-John Wayne please report back to the Washington Gun Shop. This chick wants to find out how big that 'gun' in your pocket really is.

Pride of the Lions

2008-12-02T16:09:00.008-05:00

One of the most respected Mascots in college football is in jeopardy of not making a trip with his team to the Rose Bowl. As we read in the Collegian Online the Nittany Lions Mascot was pulled over and arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol.

"Nittany Lion mascot James D. Sheep was charged with DUI Wednesday in connection with an incident last Saturday on Curtin Road, Penn State police said.
Penn State spokesman Geoff Rushton said he did not know if Sheep's (senior-broadcast journalism) status as the mascot would be affected because of the charges. He said that decision will ultimately be made by the head cheerleading coach.
Curtis White, Penn State's cheerleading coach, could not be reached for comment.
Rushton also said he expects some action from the Office of Judicial Affairs, although no steps have been taken yet because of the holiday.
Sheep, of Chambersburg, Pa., could not be reached for comment."

Given Pennsylvania's knack for it's mascot's getting into some trouble I'd say the Nittany Lion was just trying to join the fraternity. I mean when you've got to live up to this guy's

reputation ...

... you can't really bring anything less than a DUI charge.

Sports Hero of the Day: Tony Romo

2008-12-02T01:10:00.005-05:00

Now I love ragging on Tony Romo and the Cowboys as much as the next person but after hearing this story I decided to praise the Dallas QB for something we don't see from athletes as often as we should.

It seems Mr. Romo was out with a friend (no not Jessica Simpson ... the report says a friend not a whore) when he walked up to the ticket counter of a movie theater and saw a homeless guy cashing in his change. Tony decided to treat the man to a movie and offered to buy him a ticket. The man declined at first so that he could pass out fliers on the street for some money. After he realized who had invited him to watch the movie he quickly changed his mind and accepted the ticket. The homeless man ran across the street to tell someone he would not be able to pass out fliers that day and then ran back into theater where Tony waved him over to an empty seat next to him and his friend. The homeless man apologized for not have bathing in a few days but Mr. Romo just laughed it off and said he was around smelly guys in the locker room and not to worry.

It seems that this is not the first time that Tony Romo was a good samaritan either. He apparently stopped and helped a couple change a flat on the eve of the Cowboys opener.

Tony Romo for your random acts of kindness we name you the Sports Hero of the Day. Of course maybe we shouldn't give you too much credit for taking a smelly homeless guy to the movies. I mean the company could have been worse ....

Basic Thug-A-Nomics: Ryan Clark

2008-12-01T01:48:00.004-05:00

Even if you were living under a rock you still would have heard about Ryan Clark's devastating hit on Wes Welker. In fact you probably even heard Welker's head slamming twice (once off of Clark's shoulder and the other off of the ground). Dirty? Maybe. Late? Nope. Should it be a penalty for unnecessary roughness? Yeah ... but only because today's NFL is run by a pussy. Clark sent the message that Steeler Country (not to mention most other teams and fans around the league) have been waiting to send to the Patriots for awhile. Couple that with the huge bitch slap our defensive line handed to Cassel and the Pat's O-line and it was a fun game to watch. After the Steelers started off slow, barely pulling off a tie in the first half, it was all Black and Gold. Despite poor officiating from Ed Hochuli and company, despite the rain, despite the history the Steelers have had in Foxboro lately, despite CBS's announcing crew rooting for New England to win, Pittsburgh was unstoppable in the second half. The defense took the ball 4 times (the 5th was on special teams) and the offense finished it off. Final score 33-10. It was a beautiful sight to see.

In preparation of Ryan Clark's upcoming fine from the League I am asking for the fans to all send me whatever they can so we can pay off Clark's fine because seriously, how many of you watched that and said "Damn! I'd pay to see that again!" I know I would! Clark you are officially a badass! Feel free to light up Terrell Owens next week on us!

The Steelers are now in control of the second seed in the AFC with a one game lead on the Jets and a game ahead of the Ravens for the North division. The December 14th matchup with Baltimore should tell us a lot about our chances to make it deep into the playoffs.

*note: I will not actually be collecting money for the fine but feel free to send me some anyways.

Fire on Ice: The New 'Pittsburgh Kid'

2008-11-30T02:40:00.010-05:00

A few days ago Sidney Crosby was 4th in the league in scoring, projected to finish at about 110 points. It was said to be an off year for the Pens Captain thus far and that he hadn't looked like he hit his stride yet. For anyone else 110 point projection and 4th in the scoring race would be an exceptional year (with exceptions to Malkin and Ovenchkin). But for Sid it was more of a letdown.

I was telling Runhigh before the Sabres game how I felt that Sid needed to pick up his scoring. Not just the points but I was dissappointed that he wasn't putting the puck in the back of the net enough and I wanted to see him taking some more shots instead of trying to set up his teammates more. I couldn't even recall the last time he had a Hat Trick. As if the new 'Pittsburgh Kid' heard me he buried two goals in the back of the net against Buffalo. While I was hoping he'd bury one more and tie the game I was still impressed with the way he just put the pressure on the Sabres defense the whole game. He had taken over and they had few answers.

Saturday night the Devils didn't have any answers to Crosby. He was everywhere. He backchecked on defense, moved the puck through the offensive zone at will and he shot the puck on net when he wanted. At the end of the game Sid was responsible for all four of the Pens goals getting a hat trick and putting an assist right on the waiting stick blade of Peter Sykora. He even came close to adding the Gordie Howe Hat Trick when he got into a scrap during the game. It never amounted into a full on fight and both men were thrown into the penalty box for roughing. Not shabby for the All-Star.

Sidney Crosby's dominance has stretched across the last 5 games. He has had goals in 4 of the last five with the exception being the defensive battle with the Canucks. Over the last five games Sid has notched 7 goals, 5 assists for 12 points. And Sid has overtaken second outright in the scoring race right behind Pens star and teammate Evgeni Malkin.

Sidney Crosby 23 games, 13 G, 21 A, 34 Points, 11 +/-

Evgeni Malkin 23 games, 10 G, 29 A, 39 Points, 11 +/-

NFL PICKS: Week 13

2008-11-29T16:30:00.005-05:00

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 27th

Tennessee Titans (-10.5) at Detroit Lions

Don't bet on the Lions! Come on ... anyone who thought the Lions would keep this one close was retarded.

Titans -10.5

Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys (-13)

See above. The Cowboys before this game had held 3 of their last 4 opponents under 100 yards rushing. With the Romo-Owens connection re-established you had to know this would be a blowout.

Cowboys -13

Arizona Cardinals (-3) at Philadelphia Eagles

I love the Cardinals this year and I had a lot of trouble going against my sleeper but they are ineffective every time they play on the East Coast. You had to guess that 'What's a Tie' McNabb was going to come out gunning to prove to everyone that he's not the one you should be benching.

Eagles +3

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 30th

San Francisco 49er's at Buffalo Bills (-6)

Well I've been very dissappointed with the Bills as of late. They are playing in a very tough division this year but have not been strong the last couple of weeks. They caught a break last week when they played the Chiefs. Trent Edwards may have just needed that little reset to get himself going again. I like my sleeper in this game.

Bills -6

Baltimore Ravens (-5.5) at Cincinnati Bengals

The Lions of the AFC going against one of the best defenses in the league? This one seems like a no brainer. I like Joe Flacco to keep up his impressive rookie season and to pick apart the Bungals. Once again look for the Ravens to get an early lead and the Cincy crowd to start booing their team.

Ravens -5.5

Indianapolis Colts (-8.5) at Cleveland Browns

With Peyton picking apart every defense he faces lately it's hard not to imagine the Colts winning by double digits in the Dog Pound. With Brady Quinn out now it doesn't look too good for the Browns offense either. But Derek Anderson is no slouch. I think he'll have enough to keep it close.

Browns +8.5

Carolina Panthers at Green Bay Packers (even)

I like Green Bay at home. They've been struggling lately but I'm not all for picking a team from the south to go into Lambeau and win in the cold weather.

Packers win

Miami Dolphins (-10) at St. Louis Rams

The Dolphins double digit favorites??? That's crazy. Of course when the opposing team is the Rams it's less crazy. The Rams have had 11 games so far and were beaten by double digits in 8 of them. I think Chad Pennington can pass all day on this team.

Dolphins -10

New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (even)

The Saints are only 1-4 on the road this year and the Bucs haven't lost at home yet. I look for this trend to continue.

Buccaneers win

New York Giants (-4) at Washington Redskins

The Giants are beasts on the road this year with a 4-1 record. They have already beat the Redskins once this year in an earlier matchup. I've got a feeling that Manning will own the Redskins again. Especially since the Redskins haven't been impressive playing at home.

Giants -4

Atlanta Falcons (-1) at San Diego Chargers

I feel like I get burned anytime I pick for or against these two teams. My gut feeling says take the team that needs this more and I think that's the Chargers at this point.

Chargers +1

Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots (-1)

I know the Steelers don't exactly have a good track record in New England but I hope they feel insulted that they are the underdogs for this game. Matt Light isn't going to be enough to stop this defense and Cassell will eat the turf all day. Steelers 27-13

Steelers +1

Denver Broncos at New York Jets (-8.5)

I hate you Brett Favre. I hate you I hate you I hate you! I think Denver and Jay Cutler actually play better on the road than they do at home. Their Defense is terrible though and Favre has just been tearing it up lately. He should be able to put up a double digit victory at home.

Jets -8.5

Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders (-6)

Which Raiders team is going to show up today? The one that just smashed the Broncos in Denver last week or the ones who were held under 20 points 8 times this year? I'm going to expect an upset from the Chiefs.

Chiefs +6

Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings (-1.5)

In the battle for the NFC North I like the Vikings and Adrian Peterson to have a good day at home and take the lead in the division.

Vikings -1.5

MONDAY DECEMBER 1st

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans (-2)

Jacksonville has had an extremely dissappointing season so far. They were a favorite to dethrone the Colts in the division before the season started. Now they are an underdog to the weak Houston Texans. I still think they are a better team than the Texans are and should be able to win in a weak Monday Night showdown.

Jaguars +2

Last Week: 8-8

Season Record: 94-80-1